NoPornNoMasturbationforever's ( acarnegie743) Diary


#1

June 25, 2018:I have been trying Nofap for the last 3 years now but haven’t been able to get rid of this addiction till today. 35 and 33 are my two best streaks. But i have improved a lot in 2018 with the help of this app. I have had 7 good streaks in 2018: 14, 17, 13, 16, 10, 14 and 11 days!!! I wouldn’t have relapsed today but did because i really missed getting those highs. Just like drugs, i craved for those high feelings, not for sex or lust. It’s kind of strange, perhaps my brain is so screwed up. Without getting those high, life seems somewhat empty and hence i opened that portal to hell again. I really cursed the day i fapped for the first time to porn.
And as far as my progress in 2018 is concerned, here’s my record of relapses which i won’t stop tracking:
January- 7 relapses :persevere:
Febuary- 7 relapses :persevere:
March- 6 relapses :dizzy_face:
April- 4 relapses :roll_eyes:
May- 5 relapses :roll_eyes:
June- 2 relapses. :smirk:
July- 4 relapse :raised_back_of_hand::raised_back_of_hand::raised_back_of_hand: :no_entry_sign:

The reason for my relapses are mostly psychological and not sexual. Of course i have often fapped when the urges took hold over me but for the majority part it’s psychological or say cerebral. I think these are the 3 reasons why for the last 3 years i haven’t been able to get rid of this addiction.

  1. Stress and anxiety including when i am unable to cope with negative thoughts and emotions. Porn gives the comfort, pleasure, recreation and relaxation which atleast for the moment seems like a tranquilizer or a tonic. No wonder it has been my escape, my refuge for a long time. But it perpetuates the very illness, that’s another matter.
  2. Boredom. Because Porn gives those drugs like high.
  3. Lack of a really good, strong will power in my personality. But i think i have improved a lot in this sector. It’s the factors 1 and 2 which eventually lead me to relapses.
    But i am optimistic that i will eventually come out of this abyss. Compared to 2017 and 2016, i have now a lot more confidence and strength of mind. I used to struggle so hard to get past even 5 days without porn and masturbation back then( the 35 and 33 days streaks were rather an anomaly rather than the norm). I will be writing this diary because today’s relapse has really ignited my determination to overcome this challenge. In 2018, with every relapse i came out stronger and better. With every relapse i worked more on myself and improved myself, slowly but to the core of my being. I will do the Nofap more vigorously this time and will get rid of this addiction.
    Here’s my new Nofap goals/rules:
    A). It would be Hard mode. No edging or even deliberately looking at erotic contents. If i happen to do so, i would reset my counter to zero. I need a complete healing.
    B). The goal is 90 days NoPMO. I will abstain myself even from sex. 90 days is just a number but a good milestone to gauge one’s progress.

I have learned a lot during these 3 years and it would be a shame if i don’t make it happen this time. And i will. Under no circumstances or consequences will i watch porn and/or fap. I stay strong, positive and pure.


#2

@acarnegie743 I like your honesty. Good goals too. I’d like to follow your diary to see you move forward.


#3

DAY 0 AGAIN- I have relapsed on Day 5, 22 hours. FOR THE SAME TWO REASON.Specially for escaping boredom and the need to get those high.


#4

I wish you luck, and I like your honesty :slight_smile: good Post.


#5

DAY 0 again after 3 days


#6

Day 1: Feeling Pain all over the body. It’s such a vicious circle. I fap to avoid the pain but after relapse feel even more pain and shitty. God bless me!


#7

Day 2: watched lots of motivational videos. Woke up early today and feeling mentally “pumped up”. Feeling optimistic right now.


#8

HLO BHAI JOIN “FAPSTRONAUTS” my NEW NO FAP …MOTIVATIONAL WHATSAPP GROUP…COPY THIS LINK TO BROWSER:


#9

Thanks man. A good initiative.


#10

Day 5: woke up early today at 5:30 am. Will try to stay active the whole day and fall asleep as early as possible later on at night. Staying up late night is a BIG factor.


#11

Day zero again. God help me


#12

Day 4 HERE😎… …


#13

Day 2: Feeling terrible. But it’s only teaches that porn and jerking off should be given up


#14

Hallelujah! Porn had destroyed my life.
I promise myself that I will complete Nofap 90 days. I take this oath today. For myself and my family. I will prove to be a better man.


#15

Day 7: God help me. The dog you feed is the dog that wins. My sleep routine is awful though. Sometimes i sleep at 11 am. Sometimes at 5-6 am, 3 am, 4 am. It’s all shit. I’d blame ( rightly) again, Porn for fucking so much with my circadian rythm. Therefore, i don’t feel refreshed properly even after sleeping. Yeah stress too has played a part but porn is the main reason for these whole fucked up situations right now in my life.
Right now horny level: 2/10
Boredom level: 4/10
Anxiety level: 3/10
Happiness level: 5/10
Energy level: 2/10


#16

Bro don’t surrender. Sharpen that knife once again and fight stronger this time. You can cry and drip blood but you won’t surrender. A warrior never surrenders. No matter how many times he falls. A righteous man falls alot. That makes him stronger. “THAT’S HOW WINNING IS DONE, now if you know what your worth. Go get what your worth.” “Your better than that” ~ Rocky.


#17

As soon as you hear that fight music. And wake up to your passions. You know the fight is real.


#18

Thanks a lot man. #Notlookingback


#19

Bro can you share your code? Mine: 79b786


#20

Yeah bro. It’s here.
Code: 826714
Fyi. I will workout hard today. I am day 0. Fabbed last night 2 times. 2 times this morning to porn. So addicting! But we can do it bro. What day you now?