I know i am an addict
however i still fear the verdict
from peoples mouths
from their words
from their eyes
from their piercing stares
since i am failling in my affairs
even though i am addicted to PMO
i have more dependencies i know
i have to start somewhere
and also tread with care
since like others before me
i too want to be free
for me to keep going
i need a way of rembering
how to deal with my trembeling
i want to keep writing
i want to keep exercising
but what do i do
when my fears ring true
when i feel all abandoned
when i am stranded
alone in this room
some things i can not resolve on my own
sometimes i just do not want to go on
often my emotions just flow and flow on
daily new challanges spawn
i would like to sound hopefull
i would like to sound convincing
i would like to sound cheering
but currently i am moanfull
This topic is awesome.
It reminded me of the movie dead poets society whose ending was a little troublesome.
I am not a poet, never had been, I used to suck to make a rhyme scheme, but I will try and join the team.
that would be great the more the merrier!
and tbh i do not thnik everything here ahs to rhyme i fail at it too
it is just intersting how some stuff one can not express in so many words comes out if you think of maikg it somehow systematic or think of expression as art… somehow that rely opens up may mind and i udnerstand better what is happening i knwo a view ppl who perceive it the same way. i hope you will have fun
yeah and i also thought of the movie after reading some of the posts that is why i changed the name
i hope it grows into sth beautifull. it already si enjoyable to read what everyone writes… even though some of the stuff is dark but that is jsut a shade of art
its the start of a new day
my thoughts and patterns
still feel the same
for my feeling of stuckness
the lack of growth
i feel a great deal of shame
here is how the story goes:
i wake up, feel cold
want to stay in my sheats safe hold
in my drowsy mind
the daily challanges start to unfold
especially an aversion to start the grind.
than i remeber the failures of old
i am no longer blind
i ahve seen a path to gold
i am still developing my daily routine
due to my starvation for dopamine
the path that i know is one of trial and error
even though abstract this will lead me away from this terror
i jump out of bead and go get some breakfast
and start top work down my checklist
this day will be one of success and achievement
i refuse to keep up my maltreatment
I am here to live
I am here to strive
I am here to go beyond sturvival
I am here because I choose this trial
by the cold i am freed
by my effort i will succeed
by beeing vulnerable i can learn about my need
and learning from my past mistakes i will not concede
We are humans, that is our way
We can’t go straight 'fore we go astray
We can’t go high before we’re low
There ain’t no fast lest there’s slow
We can’t get stick without both ends
Although an actor can pretend
You could be saint and never sinner
With no mistakes, eternal winner
But who do you fool? Colleagues? Your friends?
Within your mind fool’s play has ends…
Or has it? We fake it all the same
Before ourselves we have no shame
And yet some will shoot for the stars
Despite them being oh so far
Let’s hope they reach them, shine the light
For all of us so far behind
i fail at it too 
Nice
