Clean day 
There are so many reasons why Iâm on this journey.
Iâm a deeply religious man. I believe that PMO is a sin with severe consequences. All the great religions of the world speak out against giving into our lusts. From the practice of brahmacharya in Sanatana Dharma, to âwhosoever looketh upon a woman with lust in his heart hath committed adulteryâ in Christianity, to the concept of lowering the gaze in Islam, it is clear to me that the Creator wants us to practice self-restraint and discipline when it comes to our sexual desires. And He is most knowing of how pleasurable giving into those desires can be - He created them. But He also instructed us on the best ways to use them and not become slaves to them.
The guilt, shame and regret that disobeying God in this area has caused me so much pain in my life. It has left a stain on my character, a hole in my heart and a black spot on my soul. For years I was ashamed to even admit I was religious because I felt like such a hypocrite. I have done terrible things to myself and other people as an addict, and only God stopped me from sexually abusing someone when urges came. The worst things Iâve ever done, all of them go back to PMO.
It has robbed me of many years of my life. Broken dreams and wasted potential. In secondary school, I was an excellent student. My close friend and I were joint first in the whole school. I was predicted to go and study at Oxford, one of the worldâs top 10 universities. But through binging on PMO instead of studying for my exams or doing my coursework, I graduated as a C student, and stumbled through life, never even going to university. Right now, a decade later, that same friend of mine has a tech company in Silicon Valley and over 130k followers on Instagram, his own podcast, even his employees are earning $100k+ a year, while Iâm still working minimum wage jobs, paycheck to paycheck. I could have been living a very different life if not for PMO.
When absorbed in the PMO addiction, I neglect everything important in my life. Relationships fall apart, my health declines, I gain loads of weight from binging on junk food, I accomplish nothing useful, wasting my time on PMO, video games and Netflix. There are people counting on me to succeed. My family and friends need me, my brothers and sisters in this community, the society is worse off when Iâm an addict. My mother has done so much for me, and she is only getting older. She will be 60 soon, and sheâs still working long hours everyday in order to provide for the family. I donât want to be a burden on her anymore. I want to help her retire.
PMO does nothing but ruin our lives, and it always will. Even just a peek, just a little bit of PMO will ruin our lives. No more. I will never PMO again, and I will never change my mind. I never PMO now.
