Interesting I struggle exactly with the same problem of beeing terrified by what I have took upon myself. It feels like I am trying to cross an ocean on a canoo without having ever been at sea
My biggest problem with these endeavours is that I keep setting goals for myself which are just sheer impossible to archieve. And I clearly do fail them and then I clearly feel like shit and beat myself up beacause I did once again, fail.
It seems to me, that you could relate to that
As I have written some times I guess I am also having some therapy with a phsycolgist which has really helped me to see things from a different point of view. It has helped me to take away some pressure and some pain porn and PMO put on myself.
What I have been doing in the past months since the beginning of the year is practicing what we could call allowance.
So this means, that if I am upset with the time I spend on youtube I do not try to cut it out completely and for an indefinite period of time, because I know myself and I am surely not going to keep it up. Instead I installed an extension which helps me monitor the time I spend on youtube and after a periond of time that I can set freely it blocks the website (youtube) for the rest of the day. It is really effective and it works for me pretty well
And not to the big topic, porn and PMO. Here as well I (and my psycologist) are trying to practice some tollerance in order to boost my chances at succeeding. As you can imagine the idea of never again watching any porn is pretty daunting and I did not succeed at it and probably will never succeed. So instead of this, we tried to establish a realistic amount of porn which is allowed in a year. (Please dont lynch me or don’t ban me from the forum, I pled to my freedom of speech and thought ). My number for this year is 21. Which would be a pretty amazing result!! (considering the fact that I have already spent 3 of these opportunities).
What does this do to me?
1-. it does not make pornography something prohibited or forbidden (and so making it more intereseting and more appealing)
2-. it takes some pressure of my shoulders of needing to be able to not watch for my entire life (a huuuuuuuge amount of pressure in my case)
3-. it deminishes the importance of conusming porn. Because it is not something I see as a devillish part of me or some part of my brain gone rogue, instead I see it as what it is. Something 80% of the male population does, and something which has always been done and which will probably always be done (and that makes it kind of “natural”)
4-. it does not associate pornography with failure. So that I can keep my self esteem and self respect up also after consuming porn. Which is a huge problem of mine, always beating myself up after consuming pornography.
So this reply also got a little bit out of hand but I hope I could help you a llttle What do you think? What do you all think?
Love my friends