NeetWarrior's Path of Redemption [17 M]

I have not been writing recently in this diary, for one and one reason only - I needed to make a fucking plan.

This is going to be fairly long, same as my realisation. So buckle up.

This has been my first month of NoFap- August 2020. In this 30 days, I relapsed 10 times (Including some of the binge and chaser sessions). This made me realise a lot of things. The past days have been difficult, and depressing. They gave me a lot of opportunity to actually think about my life, about how fucked up it is, how I have ruined it. It gave me a shot to become real as fuck with myself.

I realise that I was just totally winging it. No plan, no strategy, no amount of thought whatsoever. Just one day, I was sick of what I was doing. My marks were at the bottom of my class, everyone had surpassed me, I was constantly flunking tests, not even watching classes. The quarantine had totally fucked up everything for me. It had been the downfall of my life. I was doing fairly well, when I was in school dorm before, with all my buddies to keep me company. I still fapped, but without porn. I still needed it, like a drug, every 30 minutes or so, to keep focussing. Every 25-30 minutes, I fapped for 2 to 3 minutes for studying, for the post nut clarity, which I thought gave me a boost.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

When the pandemic hit and we all were forced into our homes, all hell broke loose for me. I started bingeing on porn like a monster, fapping 7-8 times per day, edging for hours on end, because it was available, and studying, waking up, showering, hell, even brushing my teeth in the morning and eating paled in comparison for me. I wasn’t even motivated to eat, while in that state, and whenever hunger hit, I munched on a bag of chips and just kept jerking. My marks deteriorated to virtually nothing. My energy levels dropped down to hell. My parents started to take notice I was fucking up somehow, but they really couldn’t say exactly what. They kept scolding me, telling me to work harder, but I didn’t listen. I just wanted to keep cooming. I lost a shit ton of weight, became just like a lollipop, skinny and weak. I lost all my energy, couldn’t even get out of bed. All my friends stopped talking to me, and I didn’t care. I became weak af, to lift even a carton of milk, but I didn’t care. I had the internet and there were millions of porn videos to indulge in what more could I want? I was in pain. I was in hell.

In short, I had hit rock fucking bottom.

Then come the motivation state. I wanted to stop. I realised how bad I was fucking up. I watched a shit ton of NoFap motivation, read a book in who knows how long, and started downloading apps from playstore, installing blockers and shit by mid July. None of them stuck. None of them worked for more than 2 weeks. I thought I am lacking motivation, I researched more and more into porn, saw more and more videos, I found this app and found this forum. It gave me an immense boost. Discovering this community was the best thing in my life in a long time. I met many of you guys, and accepted porn as my mortal enemy, and I thought my purpose was to beat it. My goal in life was to never fap again, my purpose- to never jerk off again.

Big mistake.

In spite of this, I cheated. I failed miserably. I relapsed. After each relapse, I told myself “You know what, fuck this. Now you relapsed. Now, from this second onwards, no more fap!” Cringe.

All these failed attempts made me sick. Made me even more dissatisfied with myself. Even when I had a community, with all this motivation, with accepting porn to be my arch enemy, I still relapsed. I still fapped. This made me think? Why? What is the reason all of us keep going back to porn? Even people with 100 and 200 days of streak fall. Why? By that time PMO has lost their hold on it already. Then why the fuck do we have the tendency to go back? We know this is evil. Why the hell do we have urges in the first place??!

I travelled to my core, searching for these answers. My focus shifted from what porn is, and what it does, to what life is, what it means. I dug out my roots, my innermost demons, to figure this out :
I sucked ass at handling my emotions. I was introduced to fapping and porn when I was 12.(I don’t really remember how or why. It doesn’t matter) Then, it was the best thing on Earth. Like manna, straight from heaven. I was thrilled and enthralled by it. I used to go visit cousins just because they had faster internet and I could stream shit faster in higher quality. I shut myself off completely, got to fapping. At first, I felt like a King, everytime I fapped to porn. I quickly learned how to last longer, fapping. After a while, shit slowly went south.

You see, I was using it to vent my emotions. I fapped because I felt I was weak, wasn’t athletic for shit, socially awkward, skinny, felt frustrated with my studies because I wasn’t putting in effort to figure stuff out, felt my parents were disappointed in me, I was lazy and and procrastinating. Even before porn, I had these problems and I was using other mediums to escape this reality - movies, tv shows, videogames. No sports, no athletic ability, zero friends, nothing I was passionate about. The only thing I could say for myself was I got fairly good marks. (a result of shameless cramming and rote memorization, which amounts to less than zero levels of education.) Bottom line, PORN didn’t fuck up my life. I DID.

For me, PMO is not the disease. It is the fucking symptom. This past month, I was trying my best to totally quit porn, to stay away, not to relapse. But I failed, big surprise. Because I was treating the symptoms, not the disease. Porn didn’t make me a slacker-procrastinator, porn didn’t make me weak, porn is not the reason I am socially awkward, porn is the reason I have zero work ethic. The problem was myself, I have been giving this addiction way more credit for my destruction than it deserves, in order not to feel the blame and shame myself, in order to get sympathy, in a desperate attempt at self pity. I convinced myself I will live like a god, I will have a super awesome life anyone was jealous of, all I needed to do was quit porn.

I do not have a shitty life because I watch porn, I watch porn because, according to me, I have a shitty life. I am lazy, weak, socially awkward, a beta, have no passion or direction in my life. I fap to get a momentary escape from my shitty reality, because my brain is like : “Oh it doesn’t matter you cannot talk to a real live girl IRL face to face, you have millions of girls waiting on your phone if only you go home, lay on your bed and open this site. This is too difficult and boring, the other thing is tons of fun! Let’s go do that!” I fap because I have a shitty life, and fapping makes it even shittier, and dements any small prospect of progress because I am not doing the work, I am just leaving my problems and am attempting to run away, because I am scared to face them. And every time I run away to the evil embrace of porn and masturbation, seeking comfort, I leave my problems to grow and accumulate, to worsen. My shitty life, my lack of ability, made me turn to porn.

This journey is not about quitting porn. I don’t think trying to quit porn this month has not improved my . condition at all (not just because I didn’t have a good streak) because I was still living the same fucked up escaping mentality. It would NOT make even the slightest difference if all I did is stop wanking all day, and instead turn to YouTube, anime, series, and whatever I use to escape.

For me, all the other activities were just to help me quit porn. I started exercise, because I thought I could divert myself from urges. I started meditation, because I thought I will get the willpower necessary to deal with urges. I started studying, because I wanted to keep myself busy, to stay away from urges. My whole existence became focussed with urges and how to beat them. I was running on willpower fumes only, just spraying it all over the place, teeth clenched, pushing it through one day at a time. I lasted 11 days.This is something like eating vegetables to remove the fat from the body. Fuck that. You eat healthy because it is what you are supposed to do. You exercise, because you are supposed to. It is who you are, who you are supposed to be for you. Life is not about removing evil. Life is about doing good. Life is about creating, enriching, acting. This is the right way to live my life. The ONLY way to.

“The pain from the addiction exceeded the comfort it provided” -This was the only reason for my efforts at NoFap. The boost and motivation was given by the dopamine burst which came as a result of trying to quit the thing that was causing me so much pain. As the pain numbed, my life came back to neutral from the downward spiral, it was back to the problems I mentioned. All those discomfort kept coming up, I had to face all my insecurities. My brain, when faced with that discomfort once again, kept pulling me back to the ONLY thing it knows, the ONLY solution IT knows, the ONLY escape I had taught it, PMO.

This is not about me trying to quit porn anymore. This is about me getting my shit together. Facing all my insecurities, all my discomforts, one by one, and figuring out how to deal with them. This is no longer a battle against porn, because it is not even worth my attention. This is, a battle for improving myself. To completely unravel the lifestyle I was living for 17 fucking years, to actually start living my life, without escaping. It took me a month to realise this simple truth.

I will be continuing my journal entries here. I had been writing a lot in my notebooks at home. I have the beginnings of a plan. I have somewhat, the direction I need my life to move towards. I am at the crossroads. Now, this is time for action. Brothers, change your mindset. Change the perspective, if you haven’t realised this. This is not about quitting porn. This is living life. This is not just about saying no to PMO. This is also about saying yes to life. I am, saying YES to life. I will continue to block off porn, masturbation in every way, shape and form, but that is not my priority anymore. Porn is just a hindrance to the life I have potential to live, not a mortal enemy I have to spend a lifetime fighting. This is how we do this, NoFap. This is the difference between failure and success. I am walking this fine line right now. This is time for action. The time for deliberation is over. This is time to practise what I preach. Even in frustration, I will find solutions to my problems. The prospect of studying scares me to death? Why is it so? What can we do to figure it out? This is going to be my mentality from now on. It is time to face my bullshit, burn it out in it’s entirety, to live a life, worthy, and at peace.

I reclaim my life. NoFap, is just the beginning.

3 Likes

One of the important things is that we all are atleast trying nofap for these lockdown situation…Its legendery thing to do in this situation

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:x:Wake Before 5
:ballot_box_with_check: Meditate
:x: Cardio
:x: Training
:ballot_box_with_check:Reading (Finished ‘When Breath Becomes Air’ by Paul Kalanithi. Took up 'Discipline Equals Freedom by Jocko Willink)
:ballot_box_with_check: Healthy Eating
:ballot_box_with_check:Zero Junk
:ballot_box_with_check:Cold Showers
:x: YouTube limits
:ballot_box_with_check:Work : 4 and half hours
:x:Sleep before 11

The obsession with the streak is gone. The obsession with just trying my best not to fap is gone. I have started doing stuff because I want to, not to help me quit PMO. I will build a better life than I currently have now. EVERYTHING can be better in every possible way. The only thing I worry about is trying to make tomorrow better than today. :sweat_smile::smile:NoFap is not a waiting game guys. It is an action thriller. The better life you have and the happier you become with yourself, lesser is the likelihood you will go back to that poison.

[notes to self]

  1. Add small rewards to properly build and establish habits.
    eg : a) A small tasty snack after 15 minutes of
    meditation. :yum:
    b) 30 minutes of YouTube fun after you do
    you workout every day
    c) An episode of series/a small movie if you
    complete all targets for the day and work
    7+ hours
    Rewards are essential for proper habit building. The brain is actually a dumb bitch tbh :joy: We need to train it like we train an animal. Eventually, it will start doing what we want it to do withour much efforts.

  2. Stopped accessing Telegram on my phone because it has a shit ton of triggers and have channels full of adult content. Now onwards, I will be using only my mother’s Telegram for getting books and educative purpose, and the occasional series or movie. :smile:

  3. Don’t be so fucking hard on yourself. You need to ease your way into discipline and healthy lifestyles. If you take too much at once, or push your brain and body too hard too quick, it will eventually break and you have a high chance of going back to hell. Be patient, change comes with time. Don’t let yourself slack off and waste time either.

  4. I had forgotten how much I loved reading. NoFap has rekindled my love with books. On my 5th book in a month. This is too much fun! I will also apply the knowledge I gain, as much as possible. 20% absorption; 80% application. That is Education.

  5. Work is Worship. Your actions is the only thing that define you. Your goals and dreams are noble, but the problem is you have 1.5 million people fighting you with the same noble dreams. You need to stand out, be the uncommon among the uncommon. You have 5 months, to give it your all. Plan good and execute better. Success is not what matters right now. The only thing that matters is the work. I will give everything I got and more. Give my 100% and more in this 150 days. That is the only thing that matters. The past doesn’t matter. The future is out of our hands. The only thing that matters is NOW. What you choose in this moment. We have what it takes to choose right. :fire:

Edit : Will be doing a total digital detox for 24 hours. No phone, no tech, for the entire next day. Stay Strong Fam.

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Oh I didn’t even notice until now that you have a dairy. Nice, keep going, I’ll be tracking your progress. :slight_smile:

Stay sharp.

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You’re goddamn killing it. At 17? Fuck man. Way to go. Be fucking dangerous. Be doing the shit that nobody else does. Walk around like that’s what you do because it IS what you do. Be like Goggins. Take their souls. You’ll only be making this world better.

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Hell yeah bro! That’s the goal! The journey is to be uncommon among the uncommon. This means a lot. :smile::smile: Thank you.

Also, welcome to the community! :fire::fire:

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There are 5 disciplines of my life I want to improve. I am going to tackle them all at once. These are things I need to do everyday. Will be making changes to the following if necessary, if I feel like I’m burning out or taking on too much, but I think it would be just my lazy mind talking. Normally, when we feel like we have given it our all, and cannot take a step further, we have only hit the 40% of our potential, according to David Goggins. That means I haven’t even hit 10% of my true potential to this date. Fuck laziness. Fuck comfort. I choose discomfort over comfort every single moment from now on. Live comfortably or live my life, is a choice I should make every single moment from now on. I am taking the teachings of Goggins to heart. I embrace his philosophy.

The Health Discipline.
:x:1. 5 hours of sleep
:x:2. Wake At 4
:x:3. Sleep at 11
:white_check_mark:4. Cleaning up daily (making bed, scrubbing, cleaning workplace, taking out the trash etc.)
:white_check_mark:5. 2x Cold showers
:x:6. 5 bottles of water
:white_check_mark:7. Eat like a monster every day(right time, right amount, right stuff- no stuff for just taste.)
:x:8. Exercise- Upper and lower body
:x:9. Cardio- Swimming or Running
:x:10. Stretching and flexibility training
:x:11. Posture Training

The Work Discipline
:x:1. 12 hours of work per day, including lectures.
Dedicated Training for NEET 21.
:x:2. Problem solving practice 25 problems each- physics, chemistry, biology.
:x:3. Reading Textbooks

The Social Discipline
:x:1. Atleast 30 mins of time out there
:x:2. Atleast 2 cold approaches

The Mental Discipline
:x:1. 15 minutes of meditation and mindfulness practise
:x:2. 45 minutes of reading - At present, Jon Kabat-Zinn : “Wherever you go there you are”
:white_check_mark:3. Affirmations and Visualisations
:white_check_mark:4. Discomfort Lifestyle

The Artistic Discipline
:x:1. French Lessons
:x:2. Vocal practise

I’m so sorry for all the crosses. I apologise to myself. I could have done a hell of a lot. I’m sorry I didn’t. I WILL make it a point to achieve these. Each one of them, tomorrow. From what I calculated, even if I do every single one of these tasks with total dedication and focus, I will still have time left over. With effective combinations, I can tackle all of my tasks, enjoying the discomfort and pain. If I fall a thousand times, I will stand up a thousand and one . That one time will be the moment of my success. Tomorrow, you will not see this list shrouded in red. It will be flourishing in green, it is just a matter of time. Thank you my brothers, for standing with me, through my failures.

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5 hours of sleep? Don’t do this to your body, please.

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Yes I totally agree with brother @edistoretto
@neetwarrior pushing your fucking limits is the real way to suddenly leave average and go forward like a beast but you have to lisren to your body and mind. Even Davis goggins talked about it, don’t listen to the excuses the Mediocre mind within you says but listen to the truth.
At our age we need 6-7 hours sleep, I believe

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That aside I love your beastmode attitude man. Keep going we are all with you :muscle::muscle::muscle:

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The Health Discipline.
:white_check_mark:1. Wake At 4
:white_check_mark:2. Sleep at 11
:white_check_mark:3. Cleaning up daily (making bed, scrubbing, cleaning workplace, taking out the trash etc.)
:white_check_mark:4. 2x Cold showers
:white_check_mark:5. 5 bottles of water
:white_check_mark:6. Eat like a monster(right time, right amount, right stuff- nothing just for taste.)
:white_check_mark:7. Exercise- Upper or lower body
:x:8.Cardio- Swimming or Running
:white_check_mark:9. Stretching and flexibility training
:white_check_mark:10. Posture Training

The Work Discipline
:white_check_mark:1. 12 hours of work per day, including lectures.
Dedicated Training for NEET 21.
:x:2. Problem solving practice:25 problems each- physics, chemistry, biology.
:white_check_mark:3. Reading Textbooks : Inorganic Chemistry

The Social Discipline
:x:1. Atleast 30 mins of time out there
:x:2. Atleast 2 cold approaches

The Mental Discipline
:white_check_mark:1.15 minutes of meditation and mindfulness practise
:white_check_mark:2. 45 minutes of reading - Jon Kabat-Zinn : “Wherever you go there you are”
:white_check_mark:3. Affirmations and Visualisations
:white_check_mark:4. Discomfort Lifestyle

The Artistic Discipline
:white_check_mark:1. French Lessons
:x:2. Vocal practise

Not bad. Still need to do better. I think I’m using quarantine as an excuse to justify not making time to go out, though cases around here are mild to none at the moment. Will correct that.
Learning needs ro improve. Minimum 75 questions should be solved tomorrow, physics, chemistry and biology combined.

@Tagore @edistoretto Thank you for your concern guys .What I meant by that is the bare minimum amount of sleep I should get per day. I used to be really sleep deprived just a few months back. Also, 7 hours of sleep at night is somehow bad for me as well. I can’t explain this but I feel really groggy and lazy if I sleep more at night. I tried setting sleep for 7 hrs, 8 or 6, but I was still brain fogged. So 5 hours sleep at night is kind of the sweet spot.
Of course, I take naps during daytime to rejuvenate and refresh-Jocko Willink approved 15 minute PowerNaps. My sleep time clocked out at 6 hrs today and I feel really good. I have removed “5 hours of sleep” from the task list. I didn’t mean to have it on there. That is not a good “task” to check out at all. Again, thank you for pointing it out. :smile::smile:

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Bro where are you now …In your House Or In The Coaching Center

1 Like

The Health Discipline.
:white_check_mark:1. Wake At 4
:white_check_mark:2. Sleep before 11
:white_check_mark:3. Cleaning up daily (making bed, scrubbing, cleaning workplace, taking out the trash etc.)
:white_check_mark:4. 2x Cold showers
:white_check_mark:5. 5 bottles of water
:white_check_mark:6. Eat like a monster(right time, right amount, right stuff- nothing just for taste)
:x:7. Exercise- Upper or lower body
:white_check_mark:8.Cardio- Swimming or Running
:white_check_mark:9. Stretching and flexibility training
:white_check_mark:10. Posture Training

The Work Discipline
:white_check_mark:1. 12 hours of work per day, including lectures.
Dedicated Training for NEET 21.
:x:2. Problem solving practice:25 problems each- physics, chemistry, biology.
:x:3. Reading Textbooks : Inorganic Chemistry

The Social Discipline
:white_check_mark:1. Atleast 30 mins of time out there
:x:2. Atleast 2 cold approaches

The Mental Discipline
:x:1.15 minutes of meditation and mindfulness practise
:white_check_mark:2. 45 minutes of reading - Jon Kabat-Zinn : “Wherever you go there you are”
:white_check_mark:3. Affirmations and Visualisations
:white_check_mark:4. Discomfort Lifestyle

The Artistic Discipline
:x:1. French Lessons
:x:2. Vocal practise

Today I took the path of less resistance. I did wake up in the morning and had a really nice run, but then I got too exhausted. Then I sat down to rest,letting me cool off steam, then lost momentum for the rest of the day. Compared to that, the classes that came later felt too dull and uninteresting. This resulted in slight stroking, unease, then to masturbation, can you believe it?! I stopped before getting orgasm, but it is a relapse. This is really stupid and a rookie mistake. I reset the counter today, losing the 8 days I was clean. Back to day 0. I don’t know about anyone else, but if I’m making it a long streak, I WILL make it clean, without even edging, touching or anything that proves to be negative outlets of my sexual energy. When I hit 90 days, it will be 90 days of complete and true transmutation of my energy. Otherwise, I will be just letting myself off easy. I don’t want that. I will learn to transmute the energy, get in touch with emotions, and to work hard.

Also, I’m done thinking about this constantly. I don’t even want to look at my streak. Just let it unfold in it’s own time. Living my life, practising mindfulness, and being entirely present for the current moment is the key. Today I learned about patience, generosity and trust. Life is too precious NOT to experience every single moment in it’s stark reality and enormity. This is the fundamental principle of mindfulness. Be aware of each moment. Live in the now. Do one task at a time, and be present for it fully and completely.

Everyday, I am learning something new, about my life, my existence and the reality around me. I am learning new concepts each day. Even trying to practise celibacy is making me a better person, even if I am not letting myself get to long streaks. I find it amusing to imagine what it would be like when I hit 90 days or something. But that is all it is, a sense of amusement - getting to 90 days without masturbation or porn is not my goal. My goal is to figure out my life and start living it, happy, content and in the present moment, continuously trying to improve myself everyday.

Today’s relapse had made me exhausted in body. Just the point of orgasm is not what is undesirable- It is the act of masturbation itself. I will stop even thinking about this. I have to stop even acknowledging this fruitless and wasteful act to be an outlet of anything. I will stop caring about my streak, let it unfold in it’s own time, watch it grow. Sometimes, the only way to fully embrace something, is fully letting it go. If I consciously imply to my mind, “not to think of elephants anymore”, “elephants” is all it can ever think about, each waking second. :smile:

4 Likes

House bro. School, Coaching centres, hostels are all closed due to quarantine.

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It is nice that you know this trick. This is called White Bear Phenomenon that suppressing thoughts turns out frequent return of such thoughts. But urges will inevitably come because our brains are short-circuited, we need to have some skills to tackle it rather than just ignoring it.

I suggest you can stick with the streak for some times until you have the sense of ‘rewired’. Setting concrete goals are important for achievement, and there is a mind trick called neurohacks - taking small change in behavior can change your mind. For example, watching your streak goes up day by day helps strengthen the sense that ‘I’m a nofapper’, with this identity you are able to fight against urges.

Also make sure you get enough rest, getting too exhausted will draw out energy of prefrontal cortex and deplete willpower. Make sure you preserve enough willpower for unexpected fight. Keep your passion and look forward to see best version of you!

3 Likes

I had not been reporting here everyday because almost I would exceed my sleeping time before I get to the journal. Not anymore. Now on, journalling and checking targets is a mandatory task no matter what. Whatever I accomplished or did not that day, I am reporting here. It’s absolutely compulsory and if I didn’t journal any day, my brothers have the right to call me out.

The Health Discipline
:x:1. Wake At 4 (5 am)
:white_check_mark:2. Sleep before 11
:white_check_mark:3. Cleaning up daily (making bed, scrubbing, cleaning workplace, taking out the trash etc.)
:x:4. 2x Cold showers (just 1 today)
:x:5. 5 bottles of water ( 2.5)
:white_check_mark:6. Eat like a monster(right time, right amount, right stuff- nothing just for taste)
:x:7. Exercise- Upper or lower body
:x:8.Cardio- Swimming or Running
:x:9. Stretching and flexibility training
:white_check_mark:10. Posture Training

The Work Discipline
:x:1. 12 hours of work per day, including lectures.
Dedicated Training for NEET 21.
:x:2. Problem solving practice:25 problems each- physics, chemistry, biology.
:white_check_mark:3. Reading Textbooks : physics and math

The Social Discipline
:white_check_mark:1. Atleast 30 mins of time out there
:x:2. Atleast 2 cold approaches

The Mental Discipline
:white_check_mark:1.15 minutes of meditation and mindfulness practise
:x:2. 45 minutes of reading - Jon Kabat-Zinn : “Wherever you go there you are” (not sure of the reading time)
:white_check_mark:3. Affirmations, Visualisations
:white_check_mark:4. NoPMO motivational content

The Artistic Discipline
:x:1. French Lessons
:x:2. Vocal practise

Sorry there are less no. of ticks.

Also, 12 hours of work seems a little far fetched for some people, but people who work 15-18 hours per day are competing against me. Also, I have fallen deeply behind on my portions compared to them. I’m only getting 230 marks in a 720 marks test. It’s sad, and pathetic. :disappointed_relieved::disappointed: If this is a marathon I’m running, my competitors are already at the 20 mile mark, while I haven’t even made 10. Working, is the most important thing at the moment. Without it, all my efforts will go in vain, my 2 years and hundreds of thousands of rupees in tutions will go to waste. I will be a disappointment, a failure in my parent’s eyes, and worst of all, in my own eyes. This is my reality at the moment. I am fully facing it right now. No filters, no faking, no bullshit. If I do NOT act in this moment, the feeble grasp of opportunity I have to turn this around will go away. This is the moment. I have no other choice than to act, to give my all. This is the last chance, this moment, this instant.

Pain is the only path to salvation.

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Bhai itna bada routines mat banao …sirf study par focus karo…

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2020-09-26T16:46:00Z

The Health Discipline
:white_check_mark:1. Wake At 4
:white_check_mark:2. Sleep before 11
:3. Cleaning up
:white_check_mark:4. 2x Cold showers
:x:5. 5 bottles of water (hmmm…Water…:thinking:)
:white_check_mark:6. Conscious eating.
:x:7. Bodyweight workout
:white_check_mark:8. Cardio- Swimming 30 mins
:x:9. Stretching and flexibility
:x:10. Posture Training

The Work Discipline
:white_check_mark:1.Dedicated Training for NEET 21. (6 hours total - aiming for 8 tomorrow)
:white_check_mark:2. Problem solving practice : 25 problems atleast
:white_check_mark:3. Reading Textbooks : Zoology, Math

The Mental Discipline
:white_check_mark:1.15 minutes of meditation and mindfulness practise
:x:2. 45 minutes of reading - Jon Kabat-Zinn : “Wherever you go there you are” (not sure of the reading time)
:white_check_mark:3. Affirmations, Visualisations
:white_check_mark:4. NoPMO motivational content

The Artistic Discipline
:x:1. French Lessons
:x:2. Vocal practise

@_TIGER balance lane ka koshish kr rha hu bro. most of these habit banake eliminate kar dunga dheere dheere. :grin::grin: Study is still primary.

[notes to self]

  1. Apply Kabat-Zinn’s teachings each moment
  2. Study harder, faster, stronger
  3. Stay the fuck away from TV series. Your family watching it is no excuse for you to jump on and watch as well.
  4. Procrastinated a lot today. Avoid that. (excessive youtube, even when monitored…:neutral_face:)
  5. Study Breaks are not for watching any content, but for exercise, reading, snacking, voice practice, etc.
3 Likes

What is this brother?
We are all with you.
Give your best! Switch off the phone. Sit alone and push limits.

Look in the mirror and tell the truth, cry if you want. If you get angry throw and break something and work your asses off!

Hardwork is the only way!

3 Likes

2020-09-27T16:44:00Z

The Health Discipline
:white_check_mark:1. Wake At 4
:white_check_mark:2. Sleep before 11
:white_check_mark:3. Cleaning up
:white_check_mark:4. 2x Cold showers
:x:5. 5 bottles of water (hmmm…Water…:thinking:)
:white_check_mark:6. Conscious eating.
:x:7. Bodyweight workout
:white_check_mark:8. Cardio- Running(Ran-walked 5km. Tomorrow, it’s more precise running for endurance building)
:white_check_mark:9. Stretching and flexibility
:white_check_mark:10. Posture Training

The Work Discipline
:x:1.Dedicated Training for NEET 21. (Fail. I completed a zoology chapter, but that was really easy and I worked for a net of only 3.30 hrs today. Very bad.)
:white_check_mark:2. Problem solving practice(Chemistry+Zoology)
:white_check_mark:3. Reading Textbooks : Zoology, Chemistry

The Mental Discipline
:white_check_mark:1.15 minutes of meditation and mindfulness practise
:x:2. 45 minutes of reading - Jon Kabat-Zinn : “Wherever you go there you are” (not sure of the reading time)
:white_check_mark:3. Affirmations, Visualisations
:white_check_mark:4. NoPMO motivational content

The Artistic Discipline
:x:1. French Lessons
:x:2. Vocal practise

[notes to self]
Happy to report I stayed away from YouTube today.

  1. Your default setting-procrastinator is acting out. We should murder that guy. This is running away from discomfort. It’s very difficult, but I must do my work. I shall update my routine to include maximum study hours in the morning, at a stretch. So by the time it is afternoon and my productivity drops, I will have completed the majority of my targets set.
  2. Still waste a lot of time on web series and stuff. My poison of choice is Brooklyn99. It’s a fantastic show, so funny, but it wastes my time, so it is dangerous. I will stay away and will not watch the series no matter what for tomorrow.
  3. Running tomorrow again.Training for endurance.
  4. Ate a lot of heavy meals. Better thing would be to pace out the meals, and increase meal number.
  5. Multitasking does NOT work guys. Don’t try. Take one task, focus on that. Nothing more, nothing less. If I try like reading while eating or something, I won’t be able to focus entirely on either. It just wastes time more.

I will do better tomorrow. No. I will be better right from this moment!

Good night guys.

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