NeetWarrior's Path of Redemption [17 M]

Day Fucking 1
Wake At 5 :x:
Meditation❌
Cardio✅ [45 mins of Badminton]
Body Weight Training :white_check_mark:[Legs]
Reading :white_check_mark:[Can’t hurt me]
Zero Junk :white_check_mark:
30 mins only YouTube❌
Classes :white_check_mark:
Mindful Eating❌
Set Targets For tomorrow✅
7 hours of work :x:
3 hours of problem solving :x:
Sleep at 11 after journal :white_check_mark:

Unproductive Screen Time : 3.5 hours

Where to improve And Thoughts :
[Notes To Self]

  1. Set the alarm right. You need it for sometime atleast, before you find the rhythm. You lost 3 fucking hours today. Never happening again.
  2. Meditate. Unless you wanna be running on willpower fumes.
  3. No more useless YouTube. You ain’t fooling nobody. When you go for it, you know you’re chickening out, to relieve your frustration:scream: Motherfucker, what are you,12? Frustration is life! There’s no running away! You either use the platform to grow, or you don’t use it at all. You have a week. 30 mins. ONLY shit that matters.
  4. Study : pUt out MORE! You know you can do it, you know you aren’t doing as well as you should, so why the fuck are you running away? Stick to the plans, and crawl through this if you must. They haven’t seen the last of you yet.
  5. Worked out really well today. Gotta give you that. Keep this shit up. It ain’t about doing this one day and then fucking up every other day. It’s about showing UP EVERY. GODDAMN. DAY.* whether you feel like it, or not.

Sleep it off, you know what you need to do, you have a day to crush tomorrow.

12 Likes

Welcome my brother @neetwarrior. This diary is going to be a place of motivation soon. You are a strong man. You are a beast!!!
Iam with you :handshake::handshake::muscle::muscle:

6 Likes

Great brother… I am with you too… make a new beginning with this diary and never Fap again… it’s time to show that you are a worrior…

All the best bro…

5 Likes

Rise up brother…we all are with you…happy to see your diary

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Thank You guys. Im back in the fight!

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Back to Day 1 at 2300 hrs

Wake At 5 :white_check_mark:
Meditate :white_check_mark:
Cardio :white_check_mark: [light bodyweight stuff]
Training :white_check_mark: [Absolute rookie’s chest. Feels good]
Reading :white_check_mark: [Can’t Hurt Me]
Zero Junk :white_check_mark:
Cold Showers✅ [they are the absolute best]
30 mins only of YT :x: [clocked out at 1hr. still bullshit comedy shows]
Classes :white_check_mark:
7 hours of work :x: [clocked out at 4]
3 hours of dedicated problem solving :x:[clocked out at just one]
Targets Hit? :x:
Set Targets for tomorrow to catch up :white_check_mark:
Sleep at 11✅

Unproductive screen time : 5 hours! WTF?!

[Notes to Self]

  1. Decent waking up today. Well done! Keep at it! Tomorrow, same time, same energy. We are going running.
  2. Also, being awake for more hours means more meditation. You need that willpower reserves up and bubbling. Have urges in the morning? Guess what sucker?! EAT, FOCUS, SHOWER, RUN OR TALK!
  3. Useless YouTube is still a useless. You have absolutely ZERO fucking business learning about politics of another country and listening to comedians make fun of it’s leader. It’s hella fun, but fun is something you can do AFTER, you do your work, hit everything green on this list. Not before.
  4. Urges bubble up, at your weakest, when you are giving a test, or are struggling with your problems. We need a strategy to beat them, and we need them fast. Try out hitting 25 ups every single time they hit. Still debating on that.
  5. Still, suck at putting out. Take her advice, and put the fuck out. No other way. You need to drill through questions of a topic, atleast 400 per unit to reach any level of competence. FIX It, or forget your goals.
  6. You spent 2 hrs 30 mins on the forum. Complete overkill. Act, then you can talk.
  7. Screens suck. Cut down on the screen time. You know what bullshit you used them for. Cut it off! They don’t mean anything to you.
  8. You enjoy reading a little TOO much. Cut down on it. Keep a steady pace, don’t burn out.
6 Likes

:x:Wake at 5
:x: Meditate
:white_check_mark:Cardio [bike+light running]
:white_check_mark:Training [Light only. No pushing too hard]
:white_check_mark:Reading [Can’t Hurt Me. Absolute badass text.
Must read for everyone]
:white_check_mark:Healthy eating [Do this everyday]
:white_check_mark:Zero Junk
:x:Cold Showers [Just one. Do two ATLEAST. 12
hours apart]
:x:YouTube limits [No more YouTube for you
tomorrow. You evidently like it way too much.]


:x:Work
:white_check_mark:Problem Solving [Nowhere near where you want to reach. But loads better than where you were! You atleast have begun. Here, have a cookie.]
:x: Targets hit? [Set some realistic targets. You know what your capable of now, without distractions, let’s see how bad you can hurt]
:white_check_mark:Sleep at 11

[notes to self]

Watched “Bird Box” today. Wrong move considering you need to catch up on work, but it’s insane how much the movie related to the addict in me. You see it, it kills you. Psychos around you can’t get enough of it, and they try and and drag you down with them, to make you see it and take your life. Ring any bells guys? I’mma watch a movie every Friday, seems like a decent ritual.
I need to desperately be true to myself. Totally, completely real. No excuses. No pussyfooting. I’m not fooling anybody, by not taking this seriously. I had major slipups in my day, got a shit ton of setbacks, got distracted loads of time. I’m not hitting the sheets looking very good. Must. Focus. I’m locking my phone up for tomorrow. Screen time is just an escape as PMO is. My journey is not just about not tugging my dick every chance I get, it’s also about getting myself to hit my dreams. I feel surprisingly good and motivated, inspite of the horrible chaser binge I just got out of recently.
You are tougher than you ever realise. David Goggins is really starting to get to me. Tomorrow is going to be pure pain, pure discomfort. I’m removing anything that gives me comfort or escape, except anything that enrich me in anyway. Your work decides who you are. I must really put my money where my mouth is and show this through my actions, or else all the best I’m gonna end up is as a shitty politician. Love the feel I’m going to sleep with. Need to keep this vibe 24x7 and life is great.

8 Likes

Bro which app are you using to count the hours you spent in the phone or to lock the phone?
Iam currently using an app named ‘Stay Focused’, it is pretty good but I want to know is the app you are using is better. Which is it?
Keep pushing. You are much greater than you think. We are all with you :handshake::handshake::muscle::muscle:

6 Likes

@Tagore I use my phone time…

1 Like

bro @Tagore I use the Digital Wellbeing app from Google. It lets me set timers for apps and switches to black and white screen at night, which is so useful. Don’t know whether it’s better than your app though. This one is really simple. Came pre-installed.

6 Likes

:white_check_mark:Wake at 5
:white_check_mark:Meditate
:white_check_mark: Cardio [2 km run]
:white_check_mark: Training [You do 30 pushups every single time you hit an urge and you’re gonna be ripped as hell in no time​:joy:]
:white_check_mark:Reading[Can’t Hurt Me.]
:white_check_mark:Healthy Eating
:white_check_mark:Zero Junk
:x:2x Cold Showers [Just shower in the morning man, jeez. One shower a day isn’t enough]
:white_check_mark: YouTube limits [Zero YouTube for myself this whole day! Hell fucking Yes!!!]
:x: Work, study.
[This stays crossed out until a day comes till you are absolutely satisfied with the academic work you put out. This is one of the biggest fucking challenges of your life this moment. So earn this. Be worthy of the knowledge once again. Think about it. How did Thor earn back the Mjolnir?]
:x:Problem Solving. [Not satisfied]
:x:Targets hit [Not satisfied]
:white_check_mark: Sleep by 11

[notes to self]

You aren’t satisfied with your work. Why?? Becuae you didn’t put out, you didn’t give it your all, you got constantly distracted, constantly sought escape and you know it. YOU know you could do better. This is not just about what you want. All that matters is the dude in the future. Where is he going to turn up to be? You have a shot. You need to make it count. You need to take that shot every single day, till you hit the mark. Keep at it. There is no running away. You will stand and face it, the mountain of pending material and work, just accumulated in front of you over this past two years. Even if we move a pebble each day, it is stilll movement. So do that. Focus on a pebble each day and move that. The mountain WILL yield. This I’m sure of. The mountain will succumb, it WILL FALL, in the face of sheer fucking will.

That is what all of this is about.
I realise it now. My reason why.

That is the only hallmark of virtue that counts - will.
Not talent, intelligence, aptitude or riches(bitch please). Everything, EVERYTHING crumbles in front of it’s power. Everything comes down to this fucking four letter word.

W I L L.

You harness it’s power to the extreme, you have absolute rein over your will, over your reserves, you live like a fucking god.

So tell me,

how much more…

…can you will?

6 Likes

Thanks bro @neetwarrior. Its a v.nice app.
But the same app is incompatible with my device. So I used the action dash- digital well being app which is just a clone of the same.

4 Likes

Streak 2 : Day 3
:x:Wake At 5
:x: Meditate
:x:Cardio
:x: Training
:x:Reading
:white_check_mark:Healthy Eating
:white_check_mark:Zero Junk
:x:2x Cold showers
:white_check_mark:YouTube limits
:x:Work
:x:Problem Solving
:white_check_mark:Sleep before 11

[notes to self]

Feeling down all around. Maybe a part of recovery, maybe just your weak ass laziness - I don’t know. Sufferring brain fog as I write this. Don’t feel too good. Didn’t get much done today (as you can tell). Maybe I took on more than I could handle and burned out? No idea. I don’t want to blame it all on the addiction. I think that would be just giving myself a fucking excuse to pussy out. What the hell! I’m going to sleep now. Need to analyse this bad day with a clear head tomorrow.
Here’s what I learned in the day:

  1. Blocked off all sites, apps which gave me triggers, using brother @Ash_Matt 's advice. Once again, big thank you to you fam!
  2. Got some info on how to improve productivity from Improvement Pill’s latest video. [I sticked to the 30 mins only YT rule today, despite being miserable af. You need to use that time most efficiently for improving your ass, not entertainment. Entertainment is just an industry that feeds off of people. Life is what should entertain you. Your work, your dreams, your actions are all the entertainment you need]
  3. You need to change up your zone, because right by now your brain assosciate it with not just work, but a lot of other things. Use the roof as much as possible. Slowly we can come back to the worktable
    as that assosciations degrade. Might take a lot of time, but worth it.
  4. Showering is so effective. Do it. I’m pretty sure you feel like shit because you didn’t shower. Twice a day, once in the morning, once at night. You feel like a fucking warrior when the ice cold hits your skin. Don’t deny yourself this badass pleasure.
  5. Cut down on the escape routes. Your real life is exciting af if you stop looking at it through the mundane lens as most others do. You are working towards a noble, selfless purpose. If you can achieve this, it will change your life completely. It will lift up your family, and a lot of people around you. The w years is for achieving that goal. You have just 6 months left to finish 2 years of work. You are the only Motherfucker who can pull this off. Believe the fuck out of that truth. Start moving the pebbles, from under the mountain. You CAN. YOU WILL.

Sleep today off. Everyone has bad days. You flip this tomorrow. Shower, Workout, Study. SWS.

6 Likes

Great changes!
We can beat this beast brother.

@Tagore @neetwarrior I use digital well being, but that’s an inbuilt app by Google and should be available on all android devices. You can probably find it under settings//digital well being

3 Likes

Go, bro. You can do it. If you can abstain for a day, you can do for a lifetime.

2 Likes

:x:Wake At 5
:white_check_mark: Meditate
:white_check_mark: Cardio
:x: Training
:white_check_mark: :Reading
:white_check_mark:Healthy Eating
:white_check_mark:Zero Junk
:x:2x Cold showers
:white_check_mark:YouTube limits
:white_check_mark: Work
:x:Problem Solving
:white_check_mark:Sleep before 11

Getting back up from the slump. Full recovery expected tomorrow. Waking up everyday and staying woke is half the battle(both literally and figuratively)

I’m sad to report I relapsed today, no porn, but MO. More on that in confession tomorrow. It’s actually a weird feeling, not extreme sadness or shame. [shame is way behind me. I have embraced the identity of a fapstronaut and am actively fighting. I should be proud of that, all of us should be.] So, these slipups are to be expected? Still, bums me out so bad. Repeated some mistakes. I just have this empty feeling. I have forgiven myself, am done with self pity and judgement, pretense of weakness -know exactly what i have to do. i will be checking in as usual, and be moving forward on a clean slate and clear mind. Not stopping. Even if I keep on getting knocked out, I won’t throw in the towel. I don’t think of starting things over, I think of starting with experience. Still, does it feel like I don’t take this as seriously as I should? There are these feelings. I know I should be devastated, but I am not. I’m just analysing what went wrong and making steps in the back of my mind, not to do it again. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. One thing is sure af, even if it takes me a year, or 10 years, I am earning that streak. I will be worthy of the streak - that is a universal fact, like the sun setting in the west on Earth, or the Universe constantly expanding. I WILL permanently quit porn, even if it kills me. I WILL reach an amzing stage in life, where I don’t even consider it anymore. THIS I’m absolutely 100% sure of. Sadly, it was just not this streak, or this day. I’m sorry. I’m moving on.

7 Likes

Today’s entry will be just [notes to self], because today has been a day of revelations and reflection. [Basically, I got jack-shit done. But, the day wasn’t entirely worthless and I’m writing down the thoughts that hit me - what I learned from today.]

The habit creates the lifestyle, and lifestyle enforces the habit. So, in order to change the habit, you must change the lifestyle you enforced with it, along with the attitude and mindset that came with it. I have, for the past few days, focused all my attention and energy, trying to fight the enemy, that I didn’t pay any attention to my battlefield. Mistake number one.

Porn has been in our lives for so long. Some longer than others. The changes it made, are an endless loop, a chain of causes and effects. For example : Our social awkwardness might have led us to porn, then doing porn amplified that lack of social skills into full blown social anxiety and depression. Stress while studying leads me to porn, and after the act, it leaves mew more stressed and after sometime I am drawn to it even more!

What I did not realise is that I need to reverse this loop, to be rid of this habit, to succeed at NoFap. I shouldn’t try to improve social skills after quitting porn, that wouldn’t make either any easier. I should instead, improve my lifestyle in a way that both go hand in hand. I should try to improve my social skills, which would give me incentive to quit porn, at the same time staying away from masturbating, which motivates me further to follow this new change. I have charted out for myself (I am still working on that, will post as soon as it is conpleted.)

Let’s all think to ourselves. What day are we more likely to relapse? A perfect beautiful day where we hit all targets, had awesome conversations with a bunch of people, flirted with a number of hot girls (or hot guys, your preference :wink:), worked out to our limit, made a lot of money OR a shitty ass day, where we woke up late, didn’t shower, got too lazy to go out, and sat in all day in bed, doing nothing but bingeing content like a zombie? A zombie lifestyle induces zombie habits. It also works the other way around. An electric flux induces a magnetic field, also the other way around, and when they periodically and harmonically dance around, it becomes an insane badass electromagnetic wave.

The wave I generate, in what direction is my choice, my will. Only I am responsible. I am the EXTREME OWNER of my actions. Not anyone else, not circumstances, not my upcoming, not my parents, not my neighborhood I grew up in, certainly not God (this steadfast faith made me an atheist and non-religious), EVERY THING I DO, is mine, and mine alone. I control where I go, what I do. I am responsible. I CHOOSE THIS. I choose my wave, it’s intensity, its amplitude, it’s direction. The wave I’ve been transmitting till now, was something I’ve been ashamed of. I am changing it. I am leaving it behind.

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My 13 Reasons Why:

  1. It makes me feel unclean, filthy, dirty and disgusting. I am disgusted with myself, after whenever I masturbate, with or without porn. I am disgusted by the vile stench I feel of me, just after I masturbate. I am sure people around me feel it too. I choose it not to be that way.

  2. It has interfered with my educational, academic life. I cannot sit to study for more than one hour anymore, without going and fapping. Every time I sit to study, masturbation without porn has become a habit, as if it is a necessity for my focus. I choose it not to be that way.

  3. It has cost me a relationship, and many friendships I had cared deeply about. I choose it not to be that way.

  4. It makes me negative, instantly. It dissolves my natural, positive aura, and immediately degrades it to something sinister and vile, which I know people can sense. I choose it not to be that way.

  5. It makes me deeply ashamed of going out in public, which destroyed my social abilities. I choose it not to be that way.

  6. It has hindered me physically, I do not have any physical attributes I am happy or even satisfied of. I do not feel healthy, fit or strong. The feelings of weakness and unhealth intensify just after the deed. I choose a different path for me.

  7. This habit of mine have severely affected my prospects of a suitable career, one of my choice, one I consider noble, badass and rewarding. It will most likely cost an entire year of my life unnecessarily. Io choose it not to be that way.

  8. It is not natural. Sex is natural. Interaction with another person out of love and mutual respect is natural. Me wanking my dick, caressing it myself, rubbing it like a pussy is NOT. My go to approach with even MO is weaker and more disgusting than most other guys (Or so I believe).

  9. It makes me feel like such a fucking beta male. A fucking cuckold. Something which is not worthy of true success. A disgusting pile of meat, which is a waste of space to himself and others. This is invariably my feeling after EVERY SINGLE relapse. I fucking CHOOSE, never to feel this way again. Never to relapse.

  10. I oppose the porn industry. I see it as pure evil, somthing that should not have existed. It legit destroys lives. I CHOOSE for it not to destroy mine.

  11. I despise instant, unworthy gratification. I strive for a disciplined mind, which is not swayed by promises of instant comforts and mild pleasures. I strive for mental strength and fortitude worthy, atleast to be of foot service to the sages of the past.
    I seek discipline. I CHOOSE structure, order, a set path in my life.

  12. Time. It is an utter, complete waste of my valuable time, no benefits, no returns. Just plain loss. Time is what I must value the most, the only asset I receive for free. It is the worst time killer of all. Anything that kills time should never have existed. Porn, even more so.

  13. My brain. Porn, and masturbation changed my brain. It degraded it physically, structurally. If my brain is a computer, porn is a virus program, a malware, which rewrote it’s wonderful code, to something obscure, sinister, vile and unholy.

I CHOOSE to turn it back. I CHOOSE to retake control. This is my choice. My right. I CHOOSE to adopt this lifestyle, that leaves porn and masturbation behind.

I am adopting Hard Mode NoFap. The following would count as relapses :

  1. Looking at pornography videos
  2. Looking at porn substitutes, images, gifs, erotica, softcore movie, music videos, anything that would count as expletive, sexual material purposefully.
  3. Sexually Pleasuring myself - edging, masturbation, rubbing, any activity which arouses my porn induced neural pathways.
  4. Any conscious expulsion of my semen I made happen, which was under my control to stop. (This specifically only excludes wet dreams and/or any precum which may occur in course of natural erections without my touching)
  5. A failure to remember my reasons and act immediately in the occasion of an urge, and escalation.

I also herby, declare the consequences of any further relapses : I will write the above document in its entirety, a hundred times and post about it on here. For every further relapse, I will have to increase the reps by 50. (100 times, 150 times, 200 times and so on.)

I am consolidating the above in the form of a physical document at home, for reading every single day. It will be a part of my daily routine. A habit I am enforcing. I realise that for this time, I had been winging my attempt at NoFap, without any formal strategy or declaration. It’s time I changed that. This will be physical evidence, a formal contract with myself I will hold me accountable to. I’m positive this new strategy will work.

5 Likes

Very much inspired by you, @neetwarrior
All the best.

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Keep going man @neetwarrior. You are in the righ track now. Along with Improving your social skills do deep work when you are alone too. Go deep, dig your head into the topic that you are really after. Work on yourself alone. The work that really matters is what we do when no one else is watching. All great men, had hours and hours of practice before then achieved anything worthwhile.
We are together, switch on BEASTMODE :muscle::muscle::muscle:

1 Like