Everything that you’ve mentioned is perfectly fine bro. But I see one element in all of that, which might be leading to your failures. I see expectations everywhere. You create plans, you have expectations from that plan, but you aren’t able to follpw your plans and then you realize that you won’t be able to meet your expectations. This makes you sad and you seek peace and pleasure to get out of it. So, you watch porn or just masturbate to ease down the tension. eg, You wish to be better at talking to girls, expecting that one of those girls will fall in love with you and then you two will marry. But my question to you is this bro, what if you can’t even get a girlfriend from this let alone marriage? Will you consider yourself a failure and then watch porn to overcome the frustration and grief of failure? You see bro, there’s a problem there. You feel that things can be achieved only this way, so you only follow that way to achieve some expectations which you aren’t able to meet, and hence you fall back into the same trap. You have to recognize this fact that if following some plan is ok, then not being able to do it is also ok. You must have a plan of what to do if you fail in your plans , at the very moment when you’re making plans of what will happen if you’ll succeed. Recognizing the positivity of negativities is no less important than the pursuit of positivity itself.
“If we believe that life can be ruled by reason, then all the possibility of life is destroyed.” - Chris McCandless
There are people who become IAS toppers studying hardly 3 hours everyday, there are ugly introverts who have hundreds of friends, there are fat, bald stupid men with super pretty women… These are odds, but odds do exist bro. So, don’t blame yourself for everything, making yourself an offender and then also a victim … Accept that this is YOU.
And bro, having a millions of friends mean nothing if none of them stand with you in difficult times. Friends aren’t made, friends happen. Friends are those people who stand the test of time, and definitely there can’t be many such people in one’s life. Love marriages are good, but there’s no evidence that arranged marriages are bad. In fact this has been found that divorce rates in arranged marriages is much lower than in the case of love marriages. But then again, don’t trust everything. Know what you want to do, work for it, do whatever you can to achieve it, but then don’t have expectations that you’ll achieve it. Just work. Nothing else. If there are some days when you can’t do what you want, sit down and relax, probably prepare a new plan if that plan is too hard for you, or just make your mind that you’ll follow it from the next moment. Thats it.
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