Need Advice - What is my problem?

Hello out there,

I need your advice and your thoughts on my problem.
Please excuse my English, it is not my first language.
My problem is: I am 21 (male) and still a virgin.
I have never really been in a relationship, kissed a girl or had sex.
Now I am at a point where I am really frustated because of my virginity.
I don’t understand it.
I will tell you something about my life:
-I am studying at a university right now.
-I am studying interesting subjects
-I play in two bands as a drummer
-i work hard on my goals every day
-I am learning multiple languages
-I am intelligent and interested
-I travelled a lot
-I don’t take drugs
-I am disciplined
-I wake up early every day
-I once reached 365 days of NoFap until I relapsed
-I still do NoFap
-I have great friends
-I also have a lot of female friends
-I am always nice to women
-I laugh much
-I love dancing in discos etc.

But also, i am very very hard to myself.

i don’t understand, why I NEVER EVER managed to get a girlfriend even though I have a good social life and social skills?!
In general, I am confident when it comes to talking and approaching people.
But when it comes to my sexual interest/ desire I have for certain women, I am shy and insecure as hell. When I want to really have a relationship with a girl I fail to show my physical interest.
I never had more than one date with the same women.
Women always consider myself as a nice friend, but nothing more.
It frustrates me.
I set myself under pressure because of this.
I feel ashamed for being a virgin at 21 years.
i want to change this but I DON’T KNOW HOW!!

Please, are there any men or women here that can help me and give me advice??
Or did you experienced a similar situation in your life?

Please, I need your help, I don’t know what to do…


P.S.: We are a great community!

  • There is absolutely no shame in being a virgin. I know it sucks to not have a girlfriend but I would always prefer not having a girlfriend than having a different girlfriend every month

  • Maybe you try too hard. If you set yourself under pressure, the girl will feel that. It just doesn’t feel natural when someone is desperate. You probably won’t even feel it. Just minor things in your charisma

  • you are 21. Many girls in that age (or if you look for slightly younger ones) aren’t really looking for a solid guy (or at least that is what I experienced) In this time, other things are considered “hot”. Often you can’t get points with your career and stuff like that. I didn’t get to know many girls who are interested in a guy who has a dream in life and studied hard to chase that.

  • Maybe you are looking at the wrong place. You seem like the guy, looking for a bit more intellectual relationship? Then, a party wouldn’t be the best place to find a girl.

  • Also consider, you don’t need many girls chasing you. You only need to find the only one. I feel like, most of it depends on a lot of luck, seeing the luck and grab it.
    I heard that sentence a lot and I hated it, but still I feel like it has a lot of truth in it. “Don’t search for love. It will find you. But once it is there you have to have the guts to catch it”


According to ancient hindu philosphy… a man should practise celibacy upto 25 yrs of life. Then enter into marriage and sexual life.

The celibacy is very important during our young age. We learn to transmute our sexual energy during this. It helps to built our buiseness & it makes us very strong from inside. We learn the art of self control which increases our powers, powers which help us in our sexual relations later on because a huge amount of energy is lost during ejaculation.

It also provides a instrument to us to measure our both lives. The life before sexual realtions & the married life. So that we can choose the better life & attains nirvana.

And yes my advice is to not rush forcefuly into a sexual relation.
First, Built your buiseness & become a stable person in terms of money, home & energy. Then, women will chase you. They will come for you, mark my words.


Try Internet dating. Will probably be life changing and you know you’re about to meet a woman who wants to meet you.
Please try it.

You are brainwashed by society that one should not be a virgin. Actually, one should not have sex at all before 25 and should never fap. Don’t give a fuck what anybody thinks about you. Be a DON. Stop trying to get interest from girls and they will start getting interested in you, but don’t give a fuck before 25. :sunglasses:


I see EXACTLY what is your problem. Read Robert Glover’s «No More Mr. Nice Guy!». It’s exactly what you need bro. Good luck

1 Like

Doesn’t work in India though. It’s more frustration and it sucks

Bro I can totally relate to you bro. I’ll DM you kindly respond.

If you are in the university look to attend social events there. Get to know girls in your classes. Remember they have friends too.

It takes work to get laid. If you want meaningful sex it will take a while to get a girlfriend and to sleep with her.

Imo sex is kind of overrated. Wait until you get married. Keep it that way. Good luck. :+1:

1 Like

Can you give your phone number? Then I can send you the ebook by whatsapp

First of all, thank you for your response,

Yes, I try hard and set myself under pressure. Because, if I don’t put any effort in girls and do nothing about it, I’m pretty sure I don’t get a girl either.

OK, this point is worrying me. I always thought girls love Guys who are having a goal they are chasing? Otherwise I can’t understand why girls should chase guys that don’t have any structure in their life. Why should girls go for unfocused, lazy and even undisciplined guys??!!

Yes, it is true, the most parties are not the right place for me when it comes to girls. Meanwhile, I only go partying for having fun and dance etc…

Yes, I also hate this sentence: “You will find the right one.”
Ironically, always people living in happy relationships are telling me this phrase!
But how long should I wait? When there is nothing happening right now, when does it happen at all??!!

Thank you and greetings

I hope so! :smile: :grimacing:

1 Like

i’m not sure. I don’t know if this is my type of thing…

I hope it’s worth it to hold back his drive for so long :sweat_smile:

Who says this, to stay virgin up to 25y?

I’ve read so much books and advices and watched so many videos, but I will give it try

1 Like

I visit many events and classes in university, more than I even have to!
But I don’t know how to go further after getting to know each other…
I don’t want to be considered as “the nice fellow student” or even as boring by the girls I’m attracted in.

Thank you for taking the pressure away :+1:

Yea that would be great

The girls I knew during this time were after the players. The type of guy which is good at selling himself. But often, these guys didn’t have a real goal. They just wanted to have fun.
Found few girls who were interested in a discussion about some deep topics or about goals in life and so on. They wanted to chill, to have fun and not do much. Maybe that is different where you come from

If I had to find a new girlfriend, I would try to go to places I like, as often as possible. I would go to the climbing gym, to tango evenings, to bike events. So, yes, I would “chase” girls. I would try to increase the chance to meet someone. If I found someone there, you would know that we already have one thing in common, and with that also a good topic to talk about.
I think it needs that mixture of keeping your eyes open everywhere, going to the places where the potential of someone with a similar mindset is higher and than also wait for the right one.

One thing that I saw is, that a person is more attractive if he or she feels confident. Having a strong aura really changes how girls see you. involving also to not be desperate, to have a good posture, to be happy with your life and so on

Well until you try it you won’t know. You have nothing to lose.
Changed my life. Good luck.