Been a long time since I’ve been on this app and I think it’s time I got back on it. Ever since I left the community I have been compulsively watching ■■■■. I just completely fumbled with a woman who liked me. Now she won’t talk to me. It stung, but it showed me the struggle I have with pornography. I left the community because I didn’t agree with how women were viewed. I saw a lot of negative ideologies and frankly some outright hatred of women who didn’t deserve it. I am hoping this time my experience will be a mix of the benefits of nofap (mindset, focus, time mangement) without the negativity regarding women. I need to belong to something, but it has to be something that heals me, not makes me sick. Good day to you all, glad to be back, and go spread some light into the world today.
On day one, and NNN is tomorrow. I have had a decent day, and am coming out of a period of negative self image. I feel lethargic at the moment because I had caffeine this morning. I debated whether to drink coffee, especially since I have a heart condition. However, I have been on the road a lot recently and have drank coffee almost every trip. Since I have had coffee so much, the decision was far easier to chose something unhealthy for me rather than the healthier choice.
It has been a good day, but a long day, emotionally. Not bad, but definitely not the best. I have a 12 page group paper due tomorrow and afaik my group members have not contributed to the writing. They are good people with busy schedules, but the deadline is still a burden in my mind. I have been getting some lower grades on assignments than I normally do since I have not taken the time to understand a new instructor’s grading style. Furthermore, I have been struggling with feelings of isolation lately.
The good thing is that, even though I feel isolated, I have friends who generally care about me. Furthermore, even though I am nervous about these assignments I generally manage to come through every time. I am abstaining from PMO this this month so that I can hopefully get my mind in order and regain control of my time. I am going to spend my the next 4 days abstaining and getting some of energy back. Then I will spend the next 5 days establishing a routine. After which, I will begin to fine tune my routine and self care habits. I have faith that I can do this, because the outcome is better than where I am now. Good day to you all, go spread some light into the world.
You’ll need real life accountability to succeed if you haven’t got that set up already … I personally dont find that online posting is enough. I need phone numbers and conversations on the phone, on WhatsApp. Accountability software which hasn’t worked for me in the past. I think people underestimate this addiction
Do you want to be my accountability partner then? I have WhatsApp
Accountability software and blockers don’t work for me either. Being in the field of IT I pretty much can by pass any of them with relative ease.
There is only one that I have found that works and that is bulldog blocker. Strictly because I can set it to make me wait 12 hours before disabling
In my opinion you would be better being accountable to someone who has overcome this addiction but I definitely haven’t. I also think it helps if you know the person in real life
I’m so compromised in this area that I’m a poor accountability partner likely to drop off the map if I’m struggling
Happy to chat on here for now though
On day 2. Had a set back the day before yesterday, but I have been doing good today. Pretty chill day, but am really demotivated with this weather. I have been having mood swings throughout the day. Usually in the morning I feel positive, after lunch I feel demotivated and around 5-7 pm I begin to feel more positive again. My strategy has been to try and eliminate the dip in the middle of the day, but I think it will be better to develop coping strategies for that part of my day, since it is pretty consistent.
Back in the game again. Day 1. Doing this for my SO
Don’t really have a problem with ■■■■, and I haven’t really had a problem with is since we started dating. However, I’ve watched it a couple of times in the past week, whereas I wasn’t watching it at all before. I enjoyed being ■■■■ free and don’t want to go back.
The last year has been very traumatic for me. I feel isolated and alone. I have fantasized about how much better the world would be without me in it more times than I can count. I’m hurting, and I just want to go back to happiness. My happiest was back in 2021 when I first started NoFap. I don’t think it was as much of the act of not doing the deed as it was a positive goal in my life to work towards. I’m going to try it again. I have nothing else to try before I hit the bottom.
I’m sorry to hear how rough the last year was for you, man. Hopefully, things will be better for you in 2024. Never give up, never lose hope.
When you’re here, you’re never alone. Strive towards your goals again, we’ll cheer you on. It’s always darkest before the dawn.
Good advice. I think I’m going to write that one down.
This is my morning entry, I guess. I had nightmares most of the night. At one point I feel like I was going to break my streak but stopped myself. I can’t remember if that was a dream or if it was for real. Feeling a bit better today, but still not 100%. I’ll try to log this evening, but we’ll see.
So… I relapsed, unfortunately. Although I will say that three days is longer than I have gone in nearly a year. I’ve kind of reached a conclusion on some things. First, I am of the personal opinion that masturbation is healthy in moderation. However, I am most definitely not in moderation in this area. Second, I think that pоrn is not healthy in my case. I feel like if I feel the need to keep it a secret then it’s not healthy for me. I feel like that varies from person to person, but I don’t feel like it fits the lifestyle I want. Finally, I think that instead of torturing myself by quitting masturbation completely, I should set boundaries with myself on when I can do it. Once a week (with no pоrn) is far healthier than 3 times a day while binging pоrn. @Forerunner, what are your thoughts on this?
A mental barrier has been broken there; that’s a significant shift. You’re getting serious about your recovery again. Keep going.
There are plenty of people who have quit pornography and continue to masturbate. Right now, in a NoPMO WhatsApp group, which I’m an admin in, we have a monthly challenge following this exact format you’ve come up with - masturbation permitted once per week with absolutely no pornography. The idea is that the separation will help break the addiction to pornography - which is the main issue for more than 90% of us - and moderate masturbation.
Like you said, your personal opinion is that masturbation is healthy for you in moderation. And that’s your right, and I won’t dissuade you from that. I know that for myself, I’ve masturbated without pornography in the past, and it still left me with many of the same negative consequences as with pornography - low energy, focus and concentration, guilt, shame and regret, wasted time, poor confidence and self-esteem. I’m happy to say goodbye to both for good.
Well said. I’m happy to hear that you are able to achieve what works best for you. I think that is one of the core principles of life. That there is no one size fits all diet, productivity tool, leadership method, exercise routine for everybody. We are all just humans coexisting and trying to figure out the best way to human in a way that leaves the world a better place.
When you get a chance, could you share the link to that WhatsApp group? I’m interested in scoping it out a bit.
Sure, I’ve sent you the link via DM.