I didnt know if such a thing happens, until I experienced one. Although its strictly a no PMO group, I thought that what I learned can be useful for you guys in any of your upcoming relationships to figure out who’s emotionally healthy and who’s not. I am sure most of you know this, but I am sharing to those who doesn’t know, or may be I am the last to know… Any case, give it a read. I was with covert one by the way.
Well, there are two kinds of narcissism.
- Covert or Vulnerable
We all know grandiose narcissists… They are full of themselves, they need constant admiration, they feel that the world revolves around them, they dont like anyone saying that they are wrong, unique and superior is what they feel… They over exaggerate their talents, they dont have empathy, fantasies about their successes, belittle others, expect special favours and unquestionable compliance from others, taking advantage of others, envy others, impatient, angry, rage has a sense of entitlement.
They dont love you, all the expect is power and control over you and you to be a constant worshipper of them, someone that praises and gives them everything they want… which is their supply.
But the most dangerous one among them is Covert narcissism.
Its so hard to spot it.
Covert narcissists are also called vulnerable narcissists.
Their powers are blame guilt and shame. They use these three weapons over others for their narcissistic supply. They are moody, they play the victimcard, so they draw pity from you, they don’t care about your wishes or desires, all they want is a punching bag and you are that. they never hold themselves responsible, never puts an effort for your desires, they project stuff onto you. Example someone shouted at them, they come and shout at you, they don’t take criticism well, they hurt you back even though you mean well, they never change no matter what, they have low self esteem, low self confidence, they pretend to have empathy but they dont, they take you for granted. They are also full of themselves in a different way. They blame you for everything thats happening in their life… They are sweet by the way, which is why its difficult to spot. You have an image of themselves being sweet, and everytime they are rude, you fail to recognize it. Well, they train you for that, like its a new normal. You feel like they dont get you, you walk in egg shells in a way that you don’t know if you meet a sweet person or a rude person anytime, they hold you responsible for everything.
Both these narcissists use tactics to manipulate you and abuse you. Abuse can be emotional and physical guys and through that they take supply from you. Overtime you feel emotionally exhausted by giving and giving.
Relationships have to have that give and take. They just take. They create a false environment where it’s all your fault.
Anytime, in any relationship, use your gut feeling. If you feel that you are not happy, or if something is wrong and you cant pin point what it is, just leave… Dont settle… Never stay in a relationship because physical side is good.
This is not medical diagnosing guys… Just some common stuff I learnt… Each of us have some traits of those but that doesn’t mean we are narcissists. A few are okay, all are not okay.