My Solitude Confessions

Day 14
2020-10-11T18:30:00Z

Today was a busy day, and I admit I peeked a 3 min trailer of soft porn series made by ekta kapoor in youtube :rofl:
It aroused me a little bit But I quickly destroyed that chain , and come out from that Because I know That these small bad steps would trigger me to watch again that old shit.

I want to earn streak to Gain my confidence and I am on rewiring Phone addiction challenge so literally I don’t have any window to watch anything disgusting in my mobile screen.

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Day 0

2020-10-12T18:30:00Z

I have nothing to say :frowning:

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Whatever I did,
I done Intentionally :sweat::sweat:
I attitude of “let’s see what is new update”
I took casually
My 14 Days Of Discipline has gone in just few minutes :cry:

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Sorry @tanmay_ck. I did not keep my words :persevere:

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2020-10-12T17:56:00Z2020-10-12T20:20:00Z

This is the time Period Of my [email protected] session after months of Rewiring just a fucking mistake and I reverted back to my old bad habit :persevere:

You all would be wondering why It has such a long session but actually this is short session in comparison to my old ones :expressionless:

I will again Start from 0 :no_mouth:

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I should have confessed earlier before initiating this… I Might prevent myself from day 0 :pensive:

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I will not Let me down… Learnt Lessons from this :smirk:

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This Time There Was NO PMO , Strict Lockdown. NO edging, No peeking Intentionally :rage:

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Dont worry bro , u will come back strong…
When u need help, Ask god he will definitely help u .

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Day 1
2020-10-13T18:30:00Z

hello Guys, I am here after 2 days , yesterday was the day of urges , I don’t know how many times I experienced it…
The urge to watch porn and masturbate was quite high during daytime when I went to market
It was a quite awkward situation for me. Those images were repeatedly strike Inside me. But I exercised deep breath mediation to curb it…yesterday It was day 0 so it might be a mind trick to fap 1 more time and Good Bye

BUT…

I REPEATEDLY TOLD MYSELF THAT IT WAS DUE TO CHASER EFFECT , URGES STRIKE BECAUSE THEY WERE WEAKEST AT THAT POINT OF TIME. THEY WANT SOME SERIOUS ATTENTION FROM YOU SO IT WAS THE BEST TIME TO TEACH THEM …
I DIDN’T BOW DOWN …
SO I AM IN REWIRING PHASE I KNOW THAT URGES ARE JUST FOR SOME MOMENTS . YOU JUST DON’T GIVE THEM ATTENTION …BECAUSE THEY ARE WEAKEST AT THAT TIME
Take an example of you , if you tied with a rope and death was in front of you …you desperately use your strongest force to cut that rope and prevent yourself. This was the same case with urges…

I HAVE LOST MY 14 DAYS, 28 DAYS AND 14 DAYS OF STREAKS WITH JUST A FEW MINUTES OF INDISCIPLINE.

I WILL RISE :muscle:

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PROCESS WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN REWIRING . MIND PLAYS MANY TRICKS WITH YOU
TALKING FROM MY EXPERIENCE
some 3-4 minute peek and repeatedly edging then relapses was inevitable…
I was serious addict that’s why I have not a long streak from july

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Day 2
2020-10-15T05:19:00Z

Here I am alone in My room… And I am going to Study… If any wrong thoughts :thought_balloon:will strike me… I will visit forum :slightly_smiling_face:

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2020-10-17T18:30:00Z

From Now on I don’t Count days… I just count when I will achieve Something from these Streak

My regular update on My lone activities continuous, I will post my Alone time activities here and post Whenever Something Wrong thoughts come in my mind… And How I Channelise it :slightly_smiling_face:

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2020-10-18T18:30:00Z

I have alone since 10 AM. I napped a little and there was a bad dream

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Keep focusing on your purpose!

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2020-10-19T04:30:00Z2020-10-19T10:23:00Z

This was the time duration When I am alone
I Napped, Then Took a shower, Surf Some Mobile, Took lunch and Watched some portion of Web series. I also watched some online lectures related to my course

Need to Focus more on my study…
This is Vulnerable period that’s why I binged some shows which help me to distract :neutral_face:

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I need to Read this post daily

2020-10-27T18:30:00Z

Want to Rise Again :slightly_smiling_face:

I slipped into abyss… Did 3 times in last 2 days after 9 days of Streak

Now Don’t give a attention to number of days… Want to make Hard mode(Without Peeking, Edging) a part of lifestyle a part of process.

I proudly say that in last 9 days. I did everything without a bit of PMO

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