I wish to be free of pornography and become the best man I can possibly be
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This journal is for the purpose of making my goals concrete and tracking my progress. I will be updating daily. Started viewing ■■■■before I knew what it was. Knew that I liked it but I didn’t want to get caught watching it(10 or 11years old). It was something I viewed from time to time but in 10th grade it became a daily use. This is where my fight began. Over the next several years I got it down to once a week. I was raised in a religious Christian family but never took it seriously until after high school. When I got married I completely stopped. I was free for a solid 8 months. Slowly but surely the honeymoon phase faded and ■■■■again become a powerful force dragging me down. I have a 1 year old son and I want to be the model of good man for him as well truly love my wife and give her the honor and respect she deserves. I can feel the effects of ■■■■impacting my marriage, work and relationship with God.
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The fact that u are a husband and father as well , make this situation even more concerning. Bro u are not a teenager now , be responsible. U got a family to raise , how will u support them if u r unable to help urself at first place. Don’t run for seeking pleasure now…the time demands ur sacrifice now.
I know u r totally capable of defeating ur all weaknesses. Just go for it for the first and last time in ur life and never look back 
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February 21st, 2025
I’m 25 years old and this is my 8th day being clean. I have been watching ■■■■for 15 years now and can’t help but wonder what my life would be like if I hadn’t done this. It’s depressing but also motivating.
I have been trying to win this fight on my own and it’s not working. 8 days ago I found this forum and it has given me a little boost of hope. I never intended on starting a journal but @Prayer_Warrior mentioned it to me and my I’m glad he did. At this point I’m willing to do anything and everything to take my life back. No exceptions, no peeking, no triggers. I’m shutting the door and nailing it closed.
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February 22, 2025
Day 9 I’m starting to feel tired and run down. It was hard to get up this morning. The temptation to redownload social Media and be lazy is trying to fight its way back in. I’m realizing more and more that I can’t beat this on my own. I’m adding 15minutes of prayer time to my daily life. Need to have a good relationship with the almighty.
2 Corinthians 12:9 - “My grace is all you need, for my power is the greatest when you are weak.”
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February 23, 2025
Today is day 10! Made it to double digits. I’m praying to increase my relationship with God and hope that this is the last time I have to do this. Really going to spend some time today and come up with a top 5 reasons why I fail and how I can avoid them. Focusing on correcting my weaknesses will be a good practice going into this new week. Just need to fight this battle day by day, and trust in the lord
Isaiah 40:29 “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”
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February 24th, 2025
Day 11
Things are getting really hard for me now. It seemed easier when I first started. Last night I went on YouTube without a reason which is a big no no for me. Definitely one of my worst triggers that leads to ■■■■. Fortunately, I caught myself before I started looking at anything but the urges were crazy strong just to take a little peak… but I know where that leads and with the help of God I was able to stay strong.
I did some thinking yesterday about why I fail and what mistakes I make.
Top 5 reasons I relapse and what I need to do instead.
- Being up too late or sleeping in too late - go to bed 10-11pm wake up 5-6am
- Being lazy or not doing what I should be doing - do what needs to get done (stay active)
- Getting sick or a change of plans where I have unexpected time home alone with nothing to do. (This is the silent killer for me) - can’t really control this situation, so I just need to really be on guard when this happens
- YouTube suggested videos while I’m on it just scrolling- can only be on YouTube if I know exactly what I’m looking for (no other social media allowed)
- Oddly enough if things are going really well for me (dopamine boost) or if I become complacent (think I’m in the clear) leading to an impulsive masturbation - NEED TO DEVELOP DISCIPLINE, be on constant watch. Daily reminders
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February 25, 2025
Day 12
Had a couple urges but I was able to fight through. I was able to stay busy which is good but over all I’m starting to feel really tired and run down. I started doing 15min of daily prayer which is helping. It really grounds me in reality, as well as allows the Lord to enter into my life and guide me.
Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.
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February 26, 2025
Day 13 almost 2 weeks!
I realize the I have been living in fear for the past 13 days. I haven’t relapsed which is good but I have been so focused on keeping my streak, that I am wishing for the next day to be here. I want this thing to be behind me so badly, that I find myself wishing my days away. I have to realize that it’s not about the streak. The streak is a a way to track my progress but I need to keep my hands and feet in and enjoy the ride. Life is good
Psalm 37-3 So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad.
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Day 2 weeks!!!
The time for living in fear is over. I have been on the defensive end of a siege for 2 weeks now. Praying for the days to pass and hoping that I make it to the next morning without destroying myself. I need to start fighting back against this evil. I’m in a war against myself. I have learned that I can survive. I must now learn how to truly live.
I will do some thinking and decide where I go from here.
Romans 12:21
“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
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Proverbs 3:5-7 (KJV) Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
These verses are my foundation for a better life in Christ.
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Thanks for these 
The Lord is a solid pillar for me to lean on. I will use Him as my foundation for my battle plan
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February 28, 2025
Day 15
I want to start living life to the fullest. When my time has come I don’t want to look back and regret any more than I already do. I need to make a battle plan for life. I have learned about myself enough to know that if I am going to succeed at something I need to break it down and make very real/concrete steps
1.) purpose - Why am I doing this in the first place? What is my goal?
Main goal and purpose of life- to know, love and serve God in this world and be happy with him in the next.
God will never force me to love Him. In order to truly love, it must be freely given. I need to align my will with that of the Father’s. In order to serve the Lord, I must learn to say no to myself and what I want. I will not be a slave to my passions and desires. I must become a master of self discipline in all areas of life.
@Prayer_Warrior so kindly gave me his stage one battle plan for me to use. I won’t be following it exactly but there are definitely some good takeaways for me.
I’m a weak willed person so if I radically change my life all at once it tends to be too much for me and I stop doing everything. I decided that I’m going to slowly add more and more self discipline into my life. Small goals that I will actually do on a daily basis. At the end of the week I will evaluate myself and see what needs to change.
This weeks daily tasks
- Nofap (no triggers, no social media, custody of the eyes and mind at all times
- 15 minutes of daily conversational prayer. Need to build a relationship with the one who strengthens me
- Cold showers (this week’s add on) must learn to say no to pleasure
“The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness!”
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1 march, 2025
Day 16
I feel amazing!! The past three days I have felt tired and rundown but I kept showing up and asking for strength and the Lord answered. I started my cold showers. As hard as it was to stay in the water, for some reason I had so much joy taking that ice shower. It made me feel alive. The strong instinct to make the water warm followed by the ability to say no gave me a rush of self confidence. I know the path of self discipline is not usually going to feel good but today it feels great
Romans 12:2 - Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
| Done | Fulfillment For Today |
|---|---|
| Nofap (no triggers, no social media, custody of the eyes and mind at all times | |
| 15 minutes of daily conversational prayer. Need to build a relationship with the one who strengthens me | |
| Cold showers (this week’s add on) must learn to say no to pleasure |
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March 2, 2025
Day 17
I can feel my brain starting to heal itself. I went to a wedding last night and had a ton of fun wth my wife and 1yr old son. There were a couple times where girls were wearing somewhat revealing dresses and I would have to overt my eyes but I was able to do so without any issues. My passions and desires were all rightly ordered and I had a great time. Moments likes these are what my journey is all about, self control, serving the Lord, living life to the fullest
| Done | Fulfillment For Today |
|---|---|
| Nofap (no triggers, no social media, custody of the eyes and mind at all times | |
| 15 minutes of daily conversational prayer. Need to build a relationship with the one who strengthens me | |
| Cold showers (this week’s add on) must learn to say no to pleasure |
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Really proud of u bro , stay like this. There are a lot of traps here, we have to avoid them every time. This is the key to happy and satisfied life.
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Thanks bro! The fight is real and the war continues. Just need to really keep self discipline and remember that I’m on the front lines at all time
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March 3rd, 2025
Day 18
Starting my to feel my anxiety levels going up and my mind is racing. Not sure if it is related to my brain fixing itself. Maybe heightened senses and energy that need to be directed. Anyways, I think it is critical that I stay focused and busy going into this week.
| Done | Fulfillment For Today |
|---|---|
| Nofap (no triggers, no social media, custody of the eyes and mind at all times | |
| 15 minutes of daily conversational prayer. Need to build a relationship with the one who strengthens me | |
| Cold showers (this week’s add on) must learn to say no to pleasure |
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It sounds like you’re experiencing a lot of mental and emotional energy right now, and it can be hard to navigate when anxiety starts to rise. It could be related to your brain adjusting or processing things, as you mentioned. Staying focused and keeping yourself occupied can definitely help channel that energy, but it’s also important to balance staying busy with moments of calm or self-care.
Have you found any particular activities or techniques that help you calm your mind or manage the anxiety? Sometimes simple things like deep breathing or grounding exercises can create a little space between you and the intensity of your thoughts.
Also, if staying busy is your priority for the week, breaking your tasks into smaller steps could help reduce any overwhelm. What do you have planned for the week ahead?
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We are moving which should keep me pretty busy. I’m moving and looking for work so I can provide for my wife and 1yr old son, while at the same time getting rid of all social media, quitting ■■■■and masturbation.
It’s a lot of natural stress, combined with getting rid of my sinful escape from reality. Life is tough but I need to be tougher. With help from the lord I know can do anything. Just need to keep showing up
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