My humble journey begins- deeply personal notes [22 m]- Sergeant's diary

Pmo-ed 11 times in the last 3 days. Feeling like shit, feeling like ending everything. But I have to stay strong for my father, mother, family. Everything is uncertain and war has broken out here. I’ll write about everything in detail later.
I wanted to write everything down somewhere and I found this forum. Grateful to be here and I’ll report my progress and some deeply personal experiences here. Everyone is welcome. This diary shall contain some hard truths about life.

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Read some no fap related books. They will help you in not masturbating.

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Yes brother. I have read books like YBOP, easypeasy etc almost one year ago. But I wasn’t serious at that time. This time everything is at stake. The world seems like slipping off from my feet.
War is going on here at Gaza. People are dying around me. It really brings a lot of existential and heart breaking thoughts to your mind.
Last week my uncle died in war. He was a police officer and their headquarters was bombed. 69 People died in that explotion along with a lot of children.
And what am I doing in this time of crisis?
Pmo-ing all day. I was not able to stop this.

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OMG , bro be safe . I heard in news that Israel is bombarding and doing airstrikes on Gaza …

I hope this War like situation ends quickly …

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Day 1

Pmo flashbacks came to my mind last night. But conquered the urges somehow.

This is a sunny day. In the morning went to the shop to get some medicines for father. Very less people were present outside and there is pin-drop silence around. Saw one of my distant cousin who went to a neighborhood where bombing happened to save trapped civilians. He told me about how it broke his heart when he saw people under the remains of broken building. He heard a cry of a child but couldn’t find him. After hours of trying, they saved a child whose head was covered in blood- crying. He also told about a dog which was barking near a broken building. When they looked beneath the rubbles, they found a man, woman and grandfather. That would have been the family that dog belonged to. The woman was breathing a little but both the others were dead.
While coming back to home, I was thinking about life. When this will happen to me?
What is the meaning of all these? God, are you seeing all these?

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Bro it’s really tragic! I don’t know how you people are holding up! We all can just pray the war ends soon! Be safe bro! May god give you strength to hold on!

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That’s terrifying brother. Be safe.

@Sergeant congratulations for victory brother :heart::heart:

Thanks brothers. War had ended; I moved to my cousins house but still I am addicted to pmo. I want to stop this. From the words of many companions here, this forum is very helpful. So I will check-in daily and will follow a good routine.

Moderator @Ash_Matt could you please close this diary. I want to open a new diary to focus only on my routine and discipline and not personal matters. Thank bro

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