My diary of no more fear

Ok
Back to day 0
Relapsed more than 5 times today
A bad one I know
Be it whatever
Now I’m gonna start again and I’ll keep this journal of mine even if I relapse because I accept my failure now and I will succeed
So day 1 here I come :slightly_smiling_face:

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Back to day 0
Relapsed today
The chain was same
Gaming to youtube to porn and then mastrubation :no_mouth:
Feels bad…

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Yesss…I’m all pumped upp😆finally day 1
So it was an easy day

  1. Woke up at 6.40 and had few house work to do till 7.30
    Then had doubts should I start exercising or not
    But I felt like doing and did
    I was happy as I was sweating a lot
    It was difficult to exercise after long time but I did it
    So exercise :white_check_mark:
  2. Couldn’t do meditation as didn’t get time the whole day
    So meditation❌
  3. Studies nil today​:x::pensive: coz I had unwanted works which could be avoided if I took stance for myself which I’ll surely take from tom
    4 had downloaded codm again but didn’t wanna play and deleted
    Wasted my data :joy:
    But now I’m happy
    So presently to control my gaming addiction I just moved to subway surfers
    My first android game
    So no codm no bgmi :white_check_mark:
  4. Did cold showers :white_check_mark::purple_heart:
    I loved it but my mom doesn’t allow me to do
    so will try continuing this
    Yep that’s it
    Went to a restaurant to have dinner with my bro
    So it was a good day but lots of unproductive work
    :blush:
    All pumped for day 2
    And all the best to every 1 for their streaks
    Stay strong and stay happyScreenshot_20211017-204823_Rewire Companion
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Same here.
Easy solution, just don’t tell her :joy:.
If she worries just tell her you took a hot shower. Been doing just that for past 3 months now :joy:

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So posting my journal after so long I mean atleast 4 days
I had thought of leaving app
But nah and I came back
So I had many relapses two days back
Presently today is my day 2
Way to go
Steps that I have taken care of

  1. Cold shower every morning (feels good)
  2. Started going to public library to study with a friend and I was more productive in those hrs
  3. Exercising regularly (last two days couldn’t coz of fasting)
    Today i was about to relapse and i had searched for the video on my phone but then i get a call from friend to go and study In library - safe
    Then in the evening had urges and thought it’s fine to relapse and at that moment I got some work to do so i had to go out for a hour or so and again - $are

Now I’m happy that I didn’t relapse

I’ll not relapse

Thanks for reading
Looking forward for day 3

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Day 03
Meditation❌
Exercise✅
Cold shower✅

A great beginning of the day
But high urges in afternoon
Was sleepy a lot but didn’t sleep
Started reading a novel then watched a motivational video on youtube so
Me vs urges
I score 1

A depressed now due to problems in relationship
Which might end if I dont make up mind soon
For all those who are in relationship and doing nofap
I request u
Please succeed in nofap
If u dont it will surely affect ur relationship and will leave u broken
I will not fall this time
Thanks
Have an awesome day every1 tom

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Watch frst 3 videos from this playlist, you can watch whole playlist if you wish.
Also if you need to make a habit of meditation set two bars for the habit, low bar and high bar.
Low bar will be just sitting in meditative position, and meditating for 1-2 minutes or 5 minutes. Do this on low days, even when you don’t want to do it at all but it will help you strengthen your habit
High bar will be say 15 or 20 minutes of meditation, do this on good days when you have time and you feel like meditating. It will help you gain the actual benefits of meditation.
Also keep a proper time for meditation (same time of the day, might be morning, evening, night etc).
These advices apply to building any habit.
But it’s important that you don’t miss your habits becauss missing habits leads to loss of benefits and it takes significantly longer to make that habit automatic. Missing one day is fine, but miss two days in a row and you lose one week of benefits, the loss is exponential with number of days you miss the habit.

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Back to DAY1
Relapsed yesterday 4 to 5 times
It’s just that I give up easily to my urges
I dont fight
I think it’s just 3 days yet
Let’s do it one last time and then I’ll go on a long streak
But that one last time never comes

Still I’ll keep going strong
Day 1 superb
Had a spiritual quiz competition and I rocked it

Meditation❌
Exercise❌
(For both days)

This is one of the mistakes which I’ll not repeat
I’ll exercise and meditate from now on

So yep that’s it
Good night and stay strong

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Relapsed yesterday night 1.30 or so
So back to day 0
Wasnt able to sleep yesterday night

Travelling today
But I dont know why
I feel extremely depressed
I feel like crying loud

Life feels difficult …

Continuing todays journal
Coz I wont be using phone after 7.30 from today
No exercise coz lots of work
No meditation (this is my fault coz I couldn’t make time for myself)

Feeling better now after a sad and depressed day
Phone addiction is one of my main problems
It was heartbreaking to delete codm in which I had everything downloaded which took me 5 to 6 days
I have downloaded and deleted codm and pubgm many times and even coc though I’m not interested to play coc
It’s just that I feel I can use them when urge come but rather I keep playing them whole day and when urge come I give up easily
So presently just subway surfers and no other games

Coming to youtube
I keep youtube coz I think I need it for studies which I do need but I haven’t completed the material that I have in hand and instead I use youtube for nonsense stuffs
So deleting youtube too
I know it will be a difficult journey

So to safeguard myself
I’ll keep few chocolates in the refrigerator and not more than two piece a day when urges hit and not to be consumed everyday

Since I’m mostly shifting to talktime(hope so family agrees)
I’m shifting to radio on phones(my good old times)
Just kidding I didn’t have smart phone and years back so my only sort of entertainment was radio😅

Then a novel

Instead of using phone for exercise I’ll start jogging and cycling (which I’m lazy to do)
But will surely start
So yep that’s it
Stay happy
Stay strong
Good night

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Day 2 going good
Had a very bad day today
Not well
Vaccine effect
So no exercise and no meditation
Though did breathing exercises because I was very restless and irritating
Improper sleep last night
So had slept 3 hrs in afternoon after that feeling much more better
Tonight is gonna be difficult
Need to be careful
That’s it
Thanks every 1

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Back to day 0
Had a relapse yesterday
My bad
Thats it…:slightly_smiling_face:

Worst day of my life.
Good night

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Fear is a choice love to combat its effect. How ponder this reaction and creation. Same letters just move the C and you get love. Get back to me if you get it.

Love you but I can’t learn it for you brother

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Day 1 completed
Feeling loney and depressed
I had a break up yesterday night
Its difficult
Plus she was the first person to wish me yesterday
But cant blame her
Coz i messed up everything
In the recent times
I couldnt think clearly what is love and what is lust
Also i didnt know what i felt was love or just attraction after 4 years
I took her for granted bcoz the time that i should have used to buld my relation stronger
I used on porn, mastrubation and games and webseries
If i would be more aware of these i could have known what i feel
Feels bad
Depressed af

Also mostly from tom
I m joining a paid reading room
Scared af
Dont know why
Thoughts are popping up
Do i need to spend for reading room
How will i survive a month though ill be travelling
What will i do about my breakfast and lunch as i dont have enough money to get myself these everyday
And cant ask dad too coz i m not telling him i joined a paid library orelse things will be difficult at home
So mostly would need to stay hingry sometimes and sometimes manage on homemade snacks
Scared of being in public though all re going to come for reading
Scared whether ill be able to finish my portions and remember everything

My life is a mess
Going through so many issues at ones
But its my fault i never paid attention to
Im afraid to start a new beginning tom
But ill surely do it
Hope so I succeed
Things that im learning

Sometimes to become successful we need to make small sacrifices

And i wont think about results
Ill put my efforts and will work hard from now

So yeah thats it
Sorry for a long post
But i was burdened up and didnt have any 1 to speak to
It hurts being all alone
But lets grow
Bye gn

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Everything will be fine bro, take care.
You are taking action to improve yourself, keep going, all will be well.
Feel free to drop me a message anytime you need. I might not reply at the very time but I’ll reply for sure.

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Day 03 going on
Unproductive day
Urges were on their peak
But listened to easy peasy audio book for 15 mins and it helped
@Samaranjay @ChristianMan thanks a lot to both of u for being there always
Ur advice were really helpful
Today it was unproductive because i was craving for some rewards
I need to be careful thank you everyone
Signing off
Bye
Good night
Stay strong

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