[Morty's diary] Journey to a better life

Well this is my first post on my personal diary, I have lots to say will try to cover as much as possible for now.

[12 July 2020 time is 5PM IST]

I’m currently on my 12th day streak (My highest is 20days), for the past 5 months we’re in the lockdown due to coronovirus, I literally did it everyday some time my count went as high as 4 times.

Sometime I really felt very ashamed of myself, I was searching for a way to get better at that time I found this community and it’s really helping me a lot.

On 30th of June I finally made my mind to not to do it, first couple of days went normal but on the 4th and 6th day, it was like hell litterally I got so close to do it again but somehow managed to distract my mind and survived.

Found a temporary solution (watching cartoons :wink:) to distract my mind and doing the same to avoid getting into old habits, need to find a better solution and looking into that.

Current benefits:

Can able to lift higher weight with ease
Being happy most of the time
Kind of changing into an extrovert (Not sure :joy:)
Controlling my temper a lot
Being nice to everyone in my family :heart:

I’m very happy to see all these results within fews days of no PMO, very much excited to see what are all the good things I will get in the upcoming days. Will keep this thread open and going to share my journey to the world :heart_eyes:

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Morty brother you are going in the right path! Keep updating!

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Thanks brother… much love :v::heart:

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Day 13: [13 July 2020 time is 4PM IST]

Guess I’m having flatline :pensive: and truly this sucks,

Feeling lonely and don’t want to talk to anyone
Doing WFH, but not at all in the mood to work
Hearing songs I don’t think it’s helping me and at the same time it’s not bad

Last night while watching a series on Netflix, unexpectedly seen a sex scene but the thing which surprised me was I didn’t shown any kind reaction and I didn’t got any erection!!! Got frustrated thought of going back to porn :unamused: but somehow managed and watched some cartoons, after that I didn’t get sleep until 3AM. Thoughts of going back to PMO came again and again, simply opened https://www.yourbrainonporn.com and read some random articles and went back to sleep. Didn’t got morning wood today :persevere:

I’m a huge fan of Walter white in breaking bad as he said “No matter what happens, no more bloodshed”

Staying strong :v:

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It will pass. Just continue your journay.

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You are not alone. We all are with you on this journey

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Day 14: 14 July 2020 time is 4PM IST]

Still flatline continues but not as bad as yesterday, mood swings frequently today. May be that’s how my mind healing me :wink: Everything happens for a greater reason.

Thought of not posting any thing today but remembered sharing is better that keeping everything on the mind, it will reduce the pain :blush:

That’s all for today, staying strong :v::heart:

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Day 15**[15 July 2020 time is 4:30PM IST]**

Well, flatline faded away :grin: that’s a good thing and I’m feeling better and happier today.

Woke up with a hard morning wood, which excited me, some people may will say it might lead to fap. But for me, it’s my body telling me that I’m healthy and going a good direction.

Another good thing happened was I got this SWORDSMAN badge in Rewire companion app, I like ancient swordsmen, achieving that rank in the community motivates me a lot and now I’m in the mood to become an Emperor of this community. Gonna continue whatever I’m doing right now and will be an Emperor one day.

To infinity and beyond :v:

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You are progressing dude! You have just leveled up

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Nice to see you’re still going strong.:smile: Keep it up!

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Never give up brother :v:

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Day 16 [16 July 2020 time is 3:30PM IST]

From the morning, I don’t know what but I’m feeling very happy and confident on everything. like yesterday work up with hard morning wood :heart_eyes:. Currently doing WFH, most of the time I use to hate my work but today it’s like a new me :joy: working happily without any hesitation.

All these are great things happening today but last night urge hit me like a freight train, my work got extended last night, so I didn’t had the time to do excerise which I use to do everyday for 20 - 30mins before bed. This urge litterally killed me and I was having memories of PMO and how good it was till 2AM. Finally made up my mind and did 20 continuous push-ups on the mid-night and started walking for few mins inside our house while hearing some music and it really helped me getting back on track, got so tired and went back to sleep peacefully :v:

What I learned from last night is, urges will literally to try to kill you but getting killed or staying alive is YOUR CHOICE. Lets stay alive and be wonderful :muscle::v:

Controlling the world will be easier, if you first control you mind

Staying strong :muscle: To infinity and beyond :heart::fire:

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:fire::fire::fire:
Crazy going bruh!

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You are in Goku mode dude!!!

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Day 17 [17 July 2020 time is 4:15PM IST]

Feeling happy and confident, everythings are going good. Doing exercises before bed which is helping me a lot to get sleep.

Last night I don’t know from where it came, I finally had the gut to ask my crush’s number she simply smiled and gave her number and the best part is she called me and spoke with me for around 10mins :heart_eyes: unbelievable things are happening around me.

Really no PMO is bringing lots of good things to me. Never ever giving up these things for those shitty PMO.

Staying strong :muscle: To infinity and beyond :v:

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Day 18 [18 July 2020 time is 8:40PM IST]

Feeling same as yesterday confident and happy, spend some good quality time with my whole family after a long time, as I told on the first post I was bit of loner, introvert and I had low self esteem. Now all those things are GONE!!! I have started speaking with people happily and I can able to see they are also enjoying my company.

I feel like why haven’t I started this journey earlier, I’m enjoying each and every moment of this new me. Trust me those fake happiness we had while on PMO are nothing, the REAL happiness is totally different.

Staying strong :muscle: To infinity and beyond :v:

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Break this fuckin habbit! You can do it !!!

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Man you’re ve motivating me since the day I joined here :heart_eyes: you are something precious :heart: I love you brother, loads of love :heart::heart_eyes:

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I noticed that even if we have something like refreashing memory of old porn movies that we watch with time they are more blurred, we just forgetting it and simultaneously we start to notice the real life girls and their beauty.

I read your post about day 16 and this day was very similart to today’s mine(urges).

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Day 19 [19 July 2020 time is 5PM IST]

It’s been a whole week since I started writing, from childhood I remember how my parents use to write their day to day activity in a journal. I never thought it will be helpful but I’m feeling it right now. Writing is one for the best way to pour the feelings out :hugs:

Being happy as always :blush:, from the day I’ve started this dairy I have been posting only the benefits and details about my day but from today I’m going to add the somethings which I need to change in myself to improve myself even better.

Learning: Being in IT profression I’m still not strong in English so I’m planning to spend atleast 1hr a day on learning English.
Waking: I have a problem of waking up late everyday so going to start working on that as well.
Excessive mobile usage: I’m excessively using my mobile, gonna start reducing that.
Excerise: I’m doing meditation and exercise but I’m thinking it’s not well enough, so planning to increase the time for that as well.

Gonna start these things from today and no more excuses. This no PMO has made me do the things which I never expected, if I went back to the past and told my pastself that I’m going to do these in the future I would have laughed like anything :joy:

On a journey to become a real human :pray: staying strong :muscle: to infinity and beyond :v:

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