I searched for p and saw an image of it. I didn’t m or actually watch a video.
Is this a relapse and am I seriously set back? I am not sure myself… I feel set back, but not sure it’s just a negatice feedback loop from thinking I set myself back…
I searched for p and saw an image of it. I didn’t m or actually watch a video.
It’s not a relapse if it was by accident and you didn’t intentionally look at porn like the image. If you intentionally just saw image of porn then it’s edging which is dangerous. Don’t edge!! Ever again! But edging isnt relapse. Just something you shouldnt do.
Ok thanks! It was 3 days ago, I think the worst might be last, in terms of consequences!
The Best Thing you did was You overcame the Cycle of PMO by breaking its chain on step 2.
○ The Cycle 《
1.Watching by instinct ~ 2.Then thinking Oh i should have not done that ~~ 3. I have breaked the first rule now lets search and watch if something new has come ~~~ 4. I Have watched shit… whats the point now. I have precum… lets masturbate… 5. Orgasm and you are done with it.
Now, I think if you havent had Orgasm which obiously you hadnt. Then you have not Relapsed
But your mind is tricking you by saying," YOU Breaked the 1st Rule of Nofap." To make you its Prey.
Your mind only wants to get you back to your old habits. To make you escape from your negative emotions by fapping & orgasm. But it is not the right way. Thats why we all are suffering.
If we allow Mind to take care of us. It will mess with your life. It will make you a piece of shit.
$ Lets me tell you my story on this one. Actualy you are better than me because you didnt fall in The Cycle. I also had breaked the Cycle but it was a different one.
Actualy after my marriage. I devolped sex addiction. So there. I did manage to survive while EDGING. How ?
I did Kareeza for a week. Kareeza is sex without Orgasm. So my energy was inside of me. After that week my wife went to her house. And i was alone. i started Running excercise. I used to sprint in evening outside in fields.One day after returning from sprinting when i was changing my shorts. I saw a lot of cum on my shorts.
Was it a Orgasm ? NO. But it was something greater than Orgasm. The body flushed out the toxins when i did a great workout.
So The thing is when we Edge. The Brain start leaking chemicals called Dopamine which makes us feel good. Excess of Dopamine realease is bad because it shuts down the receptors. So when you do little things like talking with someone you wont enjoy it because your dopamine reward circuit is messed up by edging. So in Nofap we Rewire our Brain by reducing the flooding of dopamine by not watching porn. Thats why its called a Reboot
I want you to forget about what you did. It was done and dusted. A little bit of peeking wont harm you. You have already accepted it. Now dont go there ever again.
Enjoy sex with real women.
Thank you for the reply!
I’m glad I got through it and things are easy (for this stage at least, not sure about what is to come).
I’m curious, why avoid O from real sex? I would believe just avoiding P and M should be good enough. Especially within marriage. Respect for being that dedicated to overcoming addiction.
Good job on exercising! I think exercising way more then before (more than doubling my weekly mileage) helps me stay calm.
ORGASM=Weakening of Brain & Body
Practical Experiment :
- Do sex or masturbation with Orgasm …
- Do it again … after some time… The amount of ejaculation will become half now.
- Do it again on the same day… the amount decreases more…
- Do it again … you will find out that now you have become like an old man with no energy. You will not be able to do sex anymore. You are a piece of dead meat now.
If orgasm is good then your power must have increased on the 4th orgasm but… your life force keeps on decreasing
Now after this day of incident… you will remain agitated for next 21 days.
Only food and Time can heal you now.
Nightfall is ejaculation of prostate juice. It doesnt shock your central nervous system like actual sex/masturbation does During the orgasm your whole body is shooked like a leaf in a wind. Your life force gets out of you.
We can raise our energy by simply staying away from sexual activities & without watching porn. Raise in body energy vitalise our organs and makes us healthy. Increase in confidence is a byproduct. Increase in intelligence comes hand in hand.
But sex is always better than masturbation. By rubing both partner’s body. Ying & yang. Some energy can be exchanged. For the birth of next generation sex is important. A man & woman should experience sex in their life. Sex is a part of life. Not The Life. Everything in moderation is good.
So many amazing thoughts packed in so few word
That’s exactly how most things in life should be treated. We nowadays tend to classify things to be either good or bad. We should do nothing bad but on the other hand good things stay good independent of the amount. That goes from food to transportation, energy, and mental/physical health.
We should come back to balance. Ying&Yang. it needs both.
in tiny amounts even a toxin can be healthy. (basically why we should eat bitter greens from time to time )
If you regularly have sex 4 times a day or if sex always takes 3hrs you probably overdo it which definitely can’t be healthy.
The crux is to find the right amount.
In my case I also feel a huge difference between masturbation with long edging and sex.
Sex in average takes me maybe 30min? Never looked on the clock It consists of a natural cycle of
love -> slow build-up -> maximum -> release and relaxation.
If I masturbate I do it for hours (up to 4hrs)
The cycle looks more like: as fast as possible to maximum -> stay on the maximum possible intensity for as long as possible -> release and self hate.
I feel like this time on maximum intensity is very unhealthy. It keeps you on a hormone rush for a unnatural long time.
That’s also why I’m no fan of edging sex where you stay before climax for a long time. Don’t feel like this can be good
I believe in spiritual teachers.
They say there is a feeling million times more powerful & happy than orgasm.
I am in search of that vaccum.
I cant say it exists because i have never kept myself away from orgasm for a long time.
But i believe.
And i will share with you if anything extraordinary experience happens to me.
I guess a few weeks ago, I would have refused to believe that.
But during the last two weeks I started to feel a change. A thought is coming up and I have to experience it in more detail before I can tell whether it is true or not
But I feel like, the most powerful happiness that can be achieved is the everyday happiness about the minor things in life. happiness is not something we should search, but experience. It’s the tasty breakfast, the smile of a stranger in the train, the hug from a friend you haven’t seen for some weeks, the flower growing besides the street.
If we walk through life with gratitude and awareness for the things that we have, we will experience a state of happiness which a single event will never be able to give to us.
But Awareness is not a Button on a Remote.
If you click you start feeling awareness.
Awareness is result of a healthy sound mind & body.
That’s the problem.
I feel like meditation helps me a lot to find that awareness.
That’s why I practice mindfulness meditation. It helps me to focus on the details. On the important parts. The surrounding, body and mind
Another thing I do is to write down each evening the nice things I saw or experienced during the day.
I think this kind of happiness needs practice. Searching happiness won’t help since, as you said, there is no button. You can search for it but won’t find it.
My friend there are three things :
1.Complete Abstinence/ Celibacy
2. Moderation of sex
3. Extreme Sex/masturbation Addiction
Here; Most of us are 3rd kind of person
I have been no.2 & no.3 kind of person for the past 12 years of my life.
I am 26 yrs old now. Before 14 i had no problems in my life.
My point is i also want to see the no.1 aspect of the Life. No.2 & no.3 i have seen. So i want a complete celibacy now.
And if i experience what i am looking for i will tell you.