Mazerunner's journey. Giants turned into crying babies

Yeah. Brother @Mazerunner Keep away and you will recover.

Btw When you feel like giving in, reading how you felt previously after relapse can help you from making new relapse. You can use this if it helps you.

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Still day 0

P.S: I watched porn last night but why, because I got angry and mad and I wanted to revenge on something.
Life gave me these days a fucking gift : joke itch. Last week I did exercises and I got sweaty and didnā€™t go to shower straight away, I should. Now I have joke itch, this fungal infection around my genitals. I could not go to work today and my agency donā€™t believe me Iā€™m ill.

Why now when everything was going OK with my life, why, just why? Iā€™m so frustrated and I donā€™t know when this infection will go away.

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Hey brother, have you looked into what to do cure it?

Yes, I went to pharmacy, they give me Daktarin, is a cream. I have to apply 2 times a day. I never had something like that before.

If you are 100% sure itā€™s jock itch you can google to read about it and follow the safe practices


Itā€™s just a thought came to my mind

I did it bro, I have same symptoms as joke itch and itā€™s annoying because it is not looking good. And yesterday becomes worse due to sweating at work, today I stayed in bed all day and itā€™s seems itā€™s going back a bit. I saw Monday some red dots but yesterday becomes circles. I just hope it is going back soon. I feel punished because I wanted to save myself from the hell PMO.

You donā€™t need to blame yourself like that. If you stay positive this journey will become much easier and you also have fun while doing it too. Take care.

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Day 1
31st January, day 1.

I relapsed in first month of the year despite what I said. PMO isnā€™t the only problem I have, there are credibility issues, no job, health issues, loneliness and couple more.

This time I want to start with a complete different mindset.
I will be careful with my words and thoughts from now on, I will not talk and think negative about me and my life anymore even when things go bad.
I wonā€™t look at women and think about them as sexual objects never again.
I will use my imagination and vision for good and healthy purposes only.
I will seek proper knowledge, setting apart truth from lies, because this leads to confusion and Iā€™m tired to be confused.

I observed how easy demons can play me and mocking me, that happens because my values are not right, my values are what Media injected in my soul over the years.
Iā€™m turning from them values to Christian values and try to stick with them, I know this will be a stronger shelter.

God help me to apply it.

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Thatā€™s the spirit, bro.

Hey brother, i think itā€™s best to isolate each reason and work on them separately.
And keep them separate from your noPMO journey. What i mean is,
Donā€™t let one of these problem turn you to PMO.

You have taken a wonderful step, bro. Harbor some patience and you can do it!

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True, I let my health issue to turn me to PMO, I know I would have continued with my streak without it, but snaped due to frustration and anger. Thanks brother @ERNOL for these tips.

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Day 2.

Joke itching is no joke when itā€™s showing up near to genitals in groin area, like did to me. Iā€™m back in the zombie mode once again, all I can do is to stay in bed and waiting for recovery, but with this occasion I turned myself into reading and Iā€™m grateful somehow because I rediscovered the benefits of reading.
Reading for brain is like lifting weights for body. Strengthen the mind, improve diction, new ideas but most of all give me the confidence I lack.

Iā€™ll be back on my feet soon.

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Day 3.

I have to stick with the basics even I donā€™t like them. I have to learn to like them, embrace them and accept them in my life as they are the only ones who makes me stay grounded.
My mind likes to take flights a lot, maybe to catch butterflies, thing is, when is in the air, it is very easy to be deceived and when is coming back, is not landing, itā€™s crushing and I collapse with it.
I avoided basics all my life, I thought they are not important, but I understand they are the ones who make a man solid.

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Day 4.

I had a strange dream, having sex with one of my aunt. No wet dream.
Learning some history throughout the day and hope to be back on my feet.

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Day 5.

From Roman empire pics on Pinterest I end up picking for about 10 min. I uninstalled long time ago Pinterest but the browser kept me logged in and when I checked some roman soldiers some how I got into my old savings and there was only girls, savings I forgot about it. Nearly got me, but after 10 minutes I deleted everything. That was last night.
Today I went to clear all my Instagram searches from browser and ended up picking again but eventually I deleted everything.
That was a near-miss from both of Instagram and Pinterest, because nearly got me, I pulled myself out eventually, but was hard to get out because erection was there.

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I know how hard can it be to clear the stash. Itā€™s really commendable what you did, brother.

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Hey bro. I have passed in the same situation several times. Ads, msgs from friends, old searches, they always forced me to relapse after seeing the sexual content i used to watch. So i tried several times to cut off all my social media but i couldnā€™t handle it. After several searches i have found out an app called UBhind. Now i am using this app to manage my social media usage. I have blocked my social media and enabled it for 3 times a day, in times when i know that i will be surrounded by people and cannot use them to watch any sexual content. And i have limited each period to 10 minutes so i will be switching from one app to another rapidly to see new feeds and stories. It is my fourth day, it is working pretty well, i am not feeling isolated from my surrounding and in the same time i donā€™t have time to use the social media for sexual content.
And to be on the safe side, i have downloaded another app called applock. After putting the schedule you want to follow on UBhind, download applock, this app will block Ubhind so you wonā€™t be able to change the settings whenever you have any urge. In applock you can put very strong passwords, personally i have put a password of 30 letter and number, wrote it down and put it in a place that is verryy hard to reach.

Day 13.

My phone broke down, I bought another one.
What can I say, Iā€™ve been through some bad things, so bad I thought someone did witchcraft to me. Doesnā€™t matter now anymore.

Day 15.

Headache, I have to fix my sleeping pattern.

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Keep it up! You have so much time ahead, this can be the streak of your dreams.

@Svami-MahaGanja I give you that, this will be strike of my dreams, because now Iā€™m standing for something and I believe in it. If the mind and soul wonā€™t have something to stand for, they will look ways to fall for anything.