Day 17.
Daily stoicism.
That alone is in our power, which is our own work; and in this class are our opinions, impulses, desires, and aversions. What, on the contrary, is not in our power, are our bodies, possessions, glory, and power. Any delusion on this point leads to the greatest errors, misfortunes, and troubles, and to the slavery of the soul.
Epictetus.
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Still day 17.
I couldnāt abstain not to post this quote , it is so strong, is Epictetus again but this man is changing me as no one could do.
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Day 20.
I havenāt watch p* at all, not even picking in this streak . The more I get out of that dark world, the more I realise my real strengths.
I have to thanks God, because I discovered stoicism philosophy, and real stoics like Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius and Seneca.
Because them I have the courage to talk freely and more, to approach people. Tonight I opened a discussion with a girl on the street, something I havenāt done in more than 5 years. I asked her where she is from and if sheās studying, she seems she enjoyed but I stumbled somewhere and I couldnāt manage to ask her number, though I think she wouldnāt mind to give it, she even said bye in a way like she felt sorry I havenāt asker. Yeah p* took away my confidence, and the negative effects still hold strings, and I feel guilty I didnāt ask for her number. One day Iāll talk freely to any woman. I donāt think I can sleep tonight, because that could be my girlfriend and I missed it. Fear of rejection, fear of looking silly. Something what Epictetus said if you want to improve be content to be thought foolish and to not be worried about the rejection as this is not in our power of control. Well I will come back.
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Day 25.
Iāve been called stupid by a woman these days, at the beginning I was offended in me but then I remembered this words of Epictetus
Next day I realised if everyone thinks about me Iām smart will be no personality improvement as I risk to be touched by pride and stagnation. therefore is a must someone to remind me Iām stupid so I can improve and now Iām happy for that woman words.
Iām PMO clean for 25 days and my night dreams started to change a little bit from hard-core images with women to more normal. Last night I had a dream where I only had conversation with a woman and it felt good. I want to rewire completely and I started to understand life from different point.
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Day 0
Relapsed last night after getting an email from nowhere about Instagram, I checked the email and thatās it, took me to Instagram I couldnāt go out until I relapsed. I donāt blame no one, only myself.
Update : Iām fully determined to win this battle, Iām paying with my life if it is necessary, anything goes I donāt care, and Iām not going to pay escorts anymore as well, not even for a bloody massage. Iāll stay like that until I find a girlfriend and having a normal relationship.
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Pls I m new here. I need help to stop masturbation and porn and dirty thoughts
There are people here who can help you more than I can brother. It is not easy if you alone, you have to build your inside world, but the demon of lust will come to crush it down eventually, you have to fight for it with nails and teeth. I relapsed last night due to a fucking email, if you can believe it, I was horny all the time but I could survive if were not some dirty ideas about women, hidden by me somewhere in my mind.
Demons of lust will come again after 2 weeks, I already know that, but he will find me clean this time.
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Pls who are the people who can help me?
Ohh, I think for girls is easier to quit. Where you from?
Day 1
What Iāve noticed after arelapse is I Overthink and because that I tend to be depressed.
I observed my patience itās gone as well as I killed a bee today when entered my room, instead taking time and kindly push it out of the window.
Yeah, through porn demons invaded my heart again, my inside light itās off right now and people around noticed that as I canāt do eye contact anymore.
Yea patience is a virtue of the higher selfā¦ It walks hand in hand with detached observation. If you can observe the rise of an urge from a detached standpoint, you will learn about its origin and what potential lies within it. It is the life force of creation.
Demons should be slapped right back to where they come from like you would smack a mosquito that wants to suck your blood. They are only as powerful as you allow them to be. And it is you, who makes them harmless like a tamed puppy. Believe in yourself and your integrity on the good side
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Thanks for your wise words brother, They are welcomed anytime. Thatās it, my integrity, thatās what I have so far, and Iāll live to see it growing.
Day 4.
The pain is still there after that relapse, and Iām feeling like I lost my inner peace.
How is your health? Any issues?
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Itās alright so far brother @arata_shindo. Issues is because of my last relapse everything collapsed. Iām on my 6th day but the pain is still there.
What is it that collapsed? Are you still in regret?
Day 7
Regret itās going, another few days and Iāll be okay. Just build my inner world back AGAIN. THIS TIME I DONāT WANT TO CRUSH IT DOWN because some stupid pleasures.
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Iām right behind you, shoot me a PM if you need someone talk to when it gets rough.
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Day 12.
Something whisper to me to relapse. Wicked dreams as well come. I did picking but I become disgusted by it so I dropped it. Everything in me tells me to shoot out my semen, but for what I reply, what Iām going to gain after this, I get no answer back.
With this isolation itās getting one to one conflict , if Iāll make it out, and I will, Iāll probably cure myself once for all, like I reborn and be a new man. Iāll survive this both viruses and Iāll gain my inner freedom.
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