Mazerunner's journey. Giants turned in to crying babies

Day 17.
I decided to go on with a dairy as I have many thoughts to put down.
I started on 1st January 2020 a fresh new journey against porn & m* as this giant merciless ruled my life for 15 years.
But God said enough and He showed me He will turn any giants in to babies if I listen to Him and have the heart to face them. Thank you God.

I’m on 17 days streak so far.

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I don’t feel sorry for the girls I’ve lost, I don’t feel sorry for the pain I’ve been through, I don’t feel sorry for relationships lost, I only feel sorry for my time wasted.

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Day 18.

Nofapp is the way.
I’m to pale due to much time indoors, I need some sun rays lay down on my face.
I’ve watched some Mike Tyson ko’s, I installed a boxing counter and I went for 6 rounds shadow boxing, of course I was pathetic but I feel like I’m taking my body back.

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Congratulations for staying clean from the beginning of the year, that’s already a big achievement!

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Thanks, I appreciate your support.

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Sitting in my room with a glass of wine (alone) in a Saturday night when everyone is out there having fun and party. “Thanks” porn for your gifts- Fear, doubts and insecurities.:frowning:

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Day 19

Detox my brain from porn won’t be an easy job.

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My mind wants porn, I said no and now tells me at least some Instagram hotties. Fuck off, tomorrow I want to do some push-ups and work out my body a bit as I’m ashamed with my skinny arms.

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That’s a good attitude!

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Day 20,

I’m tired of being tired, I’m sick of sitting in my room like a cabbage doing nothing. I’m in zombie mode since I lost my job 3 months ago, drinking alcohol, smoking and PMO, that’s a shame even for me, a loser.
I have to get a job, I applied for my licence one month ago still didn’t arrived, soon as arrives I’ll make phone calls.
Nofap is the way but isn’t enough I need to work on building a career, work on my dreams as still exists in me.

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Day 21

Fighting my way out of the zombie mode.
Tossed my cigarettes in the bin, didn’t smoke no cigarette today, drank only 2 glasses of wine.
Quitting bad habits is hard and adding good ones isn’t easier, what I did today :
25 x 4 =100 push ups
25 x 4 =100 sit ups
25 x 4 =100 squats
3 rounds shadow boxing.
I feel much better than doing nothing and watching TV as I feel I’m in control of my body.
I intend to do it until I reach 500 push ups 500 sit ups and 500 squats every day.
There is no way to come back to PMO, no fucking way.

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Well done, you have made a huge progress today making these decisions.

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Thanks mate, we fighting same enemy and we have to win this.

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Day 22,

I had a wet dream last night but was because me.
I went to bed trying to sleep and I engaged in a sexual fantasy with a woman, when I felt I’m going to far I stopped it. During the night it happened and I woke up with low energy and a feeling of guilt but not as bad as I used to have after relapsing.
This year I want to focus on the other parts of my body rather than my di*k and try to build them in something better.
Done my exercise, started to eat pumpkin seeds instead of smoking.
PMO I hate you and don’t want to turn back to you.

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Day 23

I went 2 times out for a walk today , one time at 8:30 and second at 13:00.

I feel naturally to go out now, I don’t put any effort into as I did in PMO days. I would stay 3 - 4 days inside without feeling the need for going out.
But now is opposite, I want to spend more time outside as I don’t feel good anymore inside my room.
Another thing happened today, as I walked second time I saw a girl walking towards me and she was going probably to gym as she was wearing leggings. She was blonde and beautiful face. I said to me I have to make eye contact , I got to do this, as we getting closer I kept looking at her face hoping to rise her eyes on me, and when we approached, she did, we did eye contact and she dropped it first, but the crazy thing is I said hello to her, but I don’t think she heard me because she had Bluetooth ear pads, of course I turned my head after passing each other and she was fit.
After I felt ashamed a bit but also I liked it, it was a good feeling though.

In my youth, I could have conversation with girls, this is my personality actually but PMO buried it under a massive pile of rubbish called dirty, deviant, severe porn addiction and this, leads to a suffocate death.

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Well done, I don’t think you should feel ashamed just because you look her body, we are humans after all. I think it’s more important to control your lustful thoughts and you should be fine. Good job making eye contact. :slight_smile:

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Bro i am proud to see the streak you’ve made. It Speaks volume.

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I did because I really liked her :slightly_smiling_face:

Thanks you bro, but we both know this is only but a drop in the ocean and we need to stay vigilant as PMO can strike when we think we got this.

Every moment you are away from PMO is benefitting you. Appreciate every drop. :slightly_smiling_face:

Don’t let your guard down and build your life up. As i always say, stay frosty.
You’ve got the power! :boxing_glove:

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