Maverick's Journal

2021-07-14T18:30:00Z
Relapsed
I didn’t had intolerable urges, then why did I relapsed?
I was about to hit day 3 and didn’t had any urges in past few days. I was more than 2 weeks clean from porn or peeking. Alone in my room in the dark, raining outside, chilled weather, I was feeling very cozy. I thought it’s such a perfect atmosphere to watch ‘something’. Then I thought, “what about the streak?” My other self replied that @Tagore and @rewire_user were on a month long streak and they both broke it, you’re merely on a 2 days streak, c’mon it wouldn’t hurt that much. If they can do it then why can’t you? They’re much more experienced than you and still they fell. Specially Tagore, he’s a beast. Do you remember when you joined the forum, at that time everyone praised Tagore so much, he is an inspiration to many including you.
It’s hard to see your heroes fall, it shatters the base of your motivation. People with 200-300 days also fall, why is that? Is this a never ending war? Do we have to fight till death? Aren’t those guys still not strong enough after all? Why is that we’re always prone to relapsing, like we can fall any second, our mind can control us so easily. Why are we here? What are we doing? :pensive:

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I think the same as you brother :fire:
I wasn’t aware that I have so much responsibility upon myself. This happens with me as well, When I see someone I respect failing I someday later fail too. But Now, I won’t allow the chain to be broken by me. I won’t relapse, So People connected to me doesn’t feel weak. I assure you bro, This time we got this. Let’s fight this brother. We don’t know when this war is going to end. But we will certainly lose if we just give up. Get back up and FIght bro. The only way to win is to fight. This thing is hard, But together we can break this chain of relapses brother. If we won’t relapse. Our power will affect this community. Someone might stop relapsing looking up to us. Like we look up to Tagore. Stay Strong Buddy :muscle:

We can Do this, This time we are gonna cross our highest streak, That’s what matter being better than before :+1:

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That’s it. Till now we were fighting only for ourselves, we have to change this mentality. This is a war and we all are in this together. This is not only about us brother, in a war if the superiors fall then how can they expect the soldiers to win. There’s not much success stories on this platform, but there’s always a plethora of relapse stories. It’s time to change this, this platform has to be known by winners. Only that way we can bring a change. It doesn’t matter how many people try no fap each day, what matters is how many are successful in doing so.

DON’T RELAPSE BROTHER, DON’T GIVE SOMEONE ELSE A REASON TO RELAPSE. BE AN INSPIRATION, BE A WINNER AND THEN THE PEOPLE WHO LOOK UP TO YOU WILL EMERGE AS WINNERS TOO! :trophy::fire:

Let’s be accountability partners, as long as you don’t relapse, I won’t relapse too. No matter what happens, WE WON’T FALL! :fist_right::fist_left::boom:

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I promise you brother, This Time I won’t get defeated by weak urges. I am gonna make it to Day 60 this time. :handshake::fire: Together we can. Just stay with me till the end brother :fist_right::100::fire: Let’s Fight This Modern Drug :triumph:

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Ok, but did you make notes that I asked you :joy:
I am gonna keep asking until you do that

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Man, I did it :nerd_face: You have really good way of annoying people. To do important task. :joy::sweat_smile::handshake::100:
logo se kaam karane ka acha tareeka hai :joy::+1:

I watched all the three videos and Made notes too.
Also, I am really pumped those videos carry hell lot of motivation. :fire: But I am sure it will surely help. I was knowing most of the things, I wasn’t applying that’s my fault. The one thing which I took was extra was Self Affirmations,:100::relieved: I guess those can really change anyone’s mindset. This time, I am prepared no doubt about that I am weak I cannot last even 7 days. Yes, I know the reality but still I don’t ever wanna do it again. Never-ever, I don’t wanna have a single percent doubt about my strength that I will lose. I will give it my all, Doesn’t care about the result. But I won’t doubt myself :triumph:. Thanks Man @Samaranjay for those videos. Do share it here too. If anyone wanted to watch them.

@vickyx Never Forget bro, We don’t have to again post an awful story about our relapse. What we will post is just amazing achievement reaching to Day 7,15,21,45,60 etc. :muscle::fire::100: Let’s Do it brother. Let’s Share all our achievement and change the environment of this community. :handshake::wink:

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Definitely! No more relapse stories. We won’t let anyone laugh on us now. It’s time for some real accountability. We’ll share our day-to-day report as frequently as possible, that way we’ll never forget our goal.
200

Today’s report:
Day 0
Woke up at 8 :white_check_mark:
Practice for entrance exam :white_check_mark:
No social media :white_check_mark:
Limited YouTube :white_check_mark:
No fantasizing :white_check_mark:
No edging :white_check_mark:
Ambidextrous training :white_check_mark:
Will try to sleep early (before 12am)

It’s a small start but It’ll grow gradually as we progress. :smiley::+1:

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Ambidextrous- my man wanna become the next Da Vinci-

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I read that it helps to spark creativity and to train the left side of the brain.

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Which videos :face_with_monocle:???

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Yes that’s true, it does.

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Here You Go bro @Dean_Ambrose :+1: :fire:

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Ohhh thnxs a lot…

(21-1 characters )

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Good job :handshake::handshake::handshake::handshake::handshake::handshake:. Give your best this time. Read the notes in moments of weakness. I can’t gurantee they’ll work but they have got me through past 15 days which felt like hell actually urges wise.

I was planning to share them but I see you already shared them. Good

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Oh yeah I remember this. I had posted Lucid’s 1000 day vid on my diary a while back. He has a pretty active nofap server on discord as well, which I left due to exams, but it’s pretty active.

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I came to know about him because of that video on your diary only :sweat_smile::joy:

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“A Bumpy Road” a story I wrote few months ago as an English project about a family’s vacation. I was told to write this as a fly on the wall. I thought of sharing it with you guys. The story takes place in Ooty, I’m North Indian so I don’t know much about southern states but at that time I was really fascinated by this place, I saw a few documentaries so I decided to choose Ooty for the location. I wrote this in like 1 hour and the original draft was much crazier but I had to bring down my craziness to make it presentable to the teacher. :stuck_out_tongue:
I really loved the process of writing this, if I had more freedom I’m sure I’d come up with something fantastic. I might write a few more in free time, I love creating stories :pencil2:
So the story starts:

Driving through the wet streets of Ooty, both sides dense with trees and bushes getting cleansed with rain water. A kid watching out through the window, asks, “Pa, when will we reach there?”, “When the rain stops” replies his father. His mother asks, “Bittu, do you want to eat something?” And he says, “not yet.” Going through the endless roads with no direction signs and no humans, suddenly the car stopped with a hault! Father steps out to check what happened, but rain was making it very challenging, he found that something in the engine was blown out. He didn’t know how to fix it. He sat back in the car as it was not beneficial to keep standing in the rain, waiting for someone to arrive so they can get some help. Two hours passed nor the rain stopped not didn’t anyone stop by. After some more time something like a blurry figure of a man caught sight, as he came closer with an umbrella in his hand looks like he is a local farmer. They got some hope now, they stopped him and told the situation to him though he was standing very confused, after several minutes they knew he doesn’t know Hindi, all he speaks is Malyalam. But still he managed to understand that there was a problem with their car. Stranded at such an unknown place, the father decided that he will go out to look for help and told his wife and kid to stay in the car and then slowly disappeared in the rain. Bittu slept after some time while her mother still looking out for her husband to come back. After some time she hears someone coming to them and he was the same man who came a while ago with a few other men. Looks like he called some other people to help them, they found that her husband was gone and she was alone so instead of helping her they tried to rob her. She resisted but was overpowered by the men and got hit on the head in the brawl and became unconscious. The kid woke up and saw everything so they threw her mother in the offside in the bushes and gagged the kid then took him away. But somehow he managed to escape from their clutches and ran the opposite direction and the men ran after him. On the other side his father was still looking for someone but no luck for him. He was tired and had came a long way. Though with a little hope, his search continues. By that time the mother gains consciousness and ran straight to the car and sees that her child is gone, thinking that the robbers kidnapped her son she ran in the opposite direction. Bittu still running somehow manages to misdirect the robbers and hides in the bushes. Her mother running, and crying, calling her son from the deepest part of her throat, “Bittu! Bittu!” But no one responds. A child who was playing nearby, comes to her after hearing her shout. “Whom are you finding?” The boy asks. Fortunately he knows to speak English. “My son! Some men took my son away, did you see him?” The child nods in denial. The boy asks her to come with him to his father so that he may help her. She goes with him. Bittu’s father founds a some inhabitants and convinces them to come with him. Bittu is still hiding in the bushes comes out when he was sure that the robbers have gone now. He starts walking down the road and after a while reunites with his father who was approaching his way with some other people. Bittu tells them the whole incident and they quickly ran to find her mother. On the other side her mother meets the child’s father and the child translates the whole incident to his father that the women told her. He tells that several men took away her son and also robbed her. The man immediately calls the local police to look for her son and the police starts their search. The police found sights of bittu with some people as told by the mother and aggressively arrests all of them. When Bittu’s mother came to the police station she found that they actually caught her husband and after some clarification they are released and sent back to their hotel safely.

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2021-07-18T18:30:00Z
C.S. :infinity:
It’s been raining all day, so I went out for a ride. I was riding my bike on the wet road adjacent to the river in slow rain, feeling raindrops on my face, breeze of trees and no-one in the vicinity. No thoughts in mind, only calmness and peace. :blue_heart::peace_symbol:
Came home, took a bath now I’m going to meditate for half an hour. :relieved:

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2021-07-21T18:30:00Z
C.S. :infinity:
Now that I’m free from the EVIL there still remains its reminiscent. I’m realizing this addiction is more than meets the eye. Just stopping PMO isn’t the end, we become free of course but the real struggle comes after that. When a prisoner becomes free after spending a long sentence, when they go out in the world they forget how to live between others, they need to learn to live from the starting again. We’re same as those prisoners, we spent long years of imprisonment under PMO, becoming free is the first step, but the real struggle comes after.

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2021-07-24T18:30:00Z
C.S. :infinity:
Being mindful in every situation is the best superpower one can have. And being too much attached to something materialistic is not an advisable situation to be in. Learning from anything and everything and if one can harness that knowledge then it’s unlikely that you’ll get tangled in any undesirable situation. I’ve gained some control over my mind, just a little for now.

Keeping in mind the feelings of others is also important as yours. I learnt that yesterday, some people can be too attached even so much that they can’t be teased about those. If you’re doing it then you’re digging a grave for yourself. But still if by mistake you do so, then don’t do anything else that might hurt the other person. Specially in case of an unstable atom. I have to learn more, to grow more.

If something is great then it’s not necessary that you need to see it. And if you didn’t see it then it’s insensible to criticize it. But what goes around comes around too, people who support cancel culture often get hurt when they taste their own medicine. :man_shrugging:t2:

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