Masterofemotions diary:From darkness to light

I relapsed a week ago on a challenge strated by @Adioz and that was that but I have started again and am on 1 week which has rarely happened as I usually fail under a week.Feel good now.
Onwards.

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You are doing good brother. Consistency is the key to success.

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Bhai Bohut sahu streak jaa rhi hai Relapse mat kariyo

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And mai bhi iss baar 1 month streak bana ke rahunga

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Day 8
Yeah, man don’t have much to say except the day count and have started medidation and exercise along with reduced phone usage although sometimes it goes out of hand.

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My checklist (will expand as go further)
Medidation (10-15 min):ballot_box_with_check:
Workout (atleast 15min):ballot_box_with_check:
Study(4hours):ballot_box_with_check:
Reading a book :ballot_box_with_check:

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Day 9
This is journey will be amazing to just forget although it may be very hard in the start but enjoying the process is key :grin:.
Today’s checklist
Medidation☑️
Workout☑️
Study (4hours):x:
Reading a book☑️

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The book is Meditations by Marcus Aurileus,a practitioner of stocisim written 2000 years ago.
Deep and insightful read.

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2 weeks since I posted here and it was due to many reasons that I did so,I really didn’t believe in what I intially thought and now I think that this is it as I have finally crossed my highest streak and thus on a new trajectory and I was excited last month when I restarted coming on the forum(I was here before in November due to no nut challenge) and really enjoyed some people’s company over here and I will be out of here at the end of a month, I was depending a lot on this group and forum and I don’t feel the same way as last time when I was here in November, it has really been on and off with the app,installing it and uninstalling it again and then to now,where I have started lot of new habits and things and wish you all the best.
Onwards.

Coming back.
I have come back after a very long time.I had again being going on and off with this app after july but never went back on the forum till today.I got a flashback of everything that happened when I left this.I was not really sure about wheter I should be on Nofap or not and a lot of emotional swing and so on occured and in the month of September and I completed stop Nofap and it was pretty bad until I decided to come back.I had fially restarted Nofap in around Feb this year and finally almost 11 months later have seen this forum and its activity.I saw that I got a batch for staying one year on the community since Nov 19.Now I am on Day 0.
I remember that there were many people who I conversed with in the forum like @strongwillpower who started the reducing phone addiction challenge.But it’s mainly new faces and I feel like a new memebr of this forum.I don’t know if strong will would know me especially after such a long time however I am ready to restart this daily Journal and improve myself.Really need support now and will gain it from this forum.

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I remember you my brother. Welcome back again. You made the right decision coming back to NoFap. I’m proud of you. You decided to fight back instead of quitting.
Start from tofay itself. No more looking back. Don’t relapse qnd don’t fall in chaser effect.

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Update
I am currently on Day 3 although I did not relapse just before 1 st June.This is a crucial face and ensuring health is critical for me.
Today I did 30 min of running (with precautions).My running time has significantly increased since I started 2 weeks ago.It feel good but I have to increase my work.

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2 yrs ago on 5th June
I remember today very vividly, this was not some amazing or profound realisation without the moment of relpase.I relapsed in afternoon and I felt like what was the point.I finished the session and it worsened everything.The feeling of being complusive about anything is the complete opposite of empowerment.It is debilitating and keeps you in cycles, NO cycle which leads you to the same bad feeling absolutely NONE.No matter how much pleasure you may obtain it can translate into Joy and a sense of purpose which requires efforts and can’t be imagined.It requires strategy but more so execution.After this I decided to collect all my learnings from previous relapses and make a strategy.I was able to execute the strategy and went for 77 days of NoPMO n that is what I am replicating now.

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Day 5 Completed
Feeling bored and disinterested in many things but usually this happens after 11 in the morning till 5 pm in evening.It really hinders productivity and I use this time for reading books or articles related to finance, society

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Day 13
Awesome Feeling man
Been crazy swings last 2 weeks like I said in my last diary post but still
Going for gold now :muscle::+1::fire::fire:

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Day 14
Damn Light feel about complete 2 weeks in a couple of hours.Was bored, tired sometimes sad and ecstatic some days had all of these feelings but pushed through it and about to complete 2 weeks.Overall I can’t believe this as this my second longest streak after coming back after a long time into Nofap, first one being 25 days.
Looking back the struggle is what makes Nofap worth it and the benefits too.
On my way to make this my highest streak ever on this journey :slightly_smiling_face: :muscle:

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Harderst urges
Fighting bit by bit to come out stronger

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Day 23
Inching closer to a month and some thoughts
Amazing feel and going up.My longest streak after my comeback in February was 24 Days.About to cross it now in just 2-3 hrs.
It’s very important to make a streak longer than 15-20 days as soon as possible at the bare minimum so as to break the repeated habit.Generally for addicts its lower than this around a week or so thus this will help.
Coming back after many relapses is very hard.I won’t exaggerate it’s tougness but you have lots of doubts on this community and wheter you will be able to make a streak because you have tried so many times before and failed, but you must learn to ignore your thoughts and keep moving forward.

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Day 33
One of the highest streaks ever.Now, it doesn’t matter like it did as I was counting every day till 15 days as I wanted to hang on to this.Amazing feeling and I am able to run more.Feeling more present.

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Day 38 = Day 0
I relapsed on what would be Day 38 and it took a while to process the relapse and understand that it was a relapse.Coming back from down doesn’t feel easy but I was cruising till I fell down.