Masterofemotions diary:From darkness to light

I decided to start my diary and note down my experiences on nofap.
Although I don’t intend to write on a daily basis, I will be updating this often.
I also felt it was necessary as I needed a space to vent out my feelings and also share my thoughts on a regular basis regarding self development and nofap.
Onwards.

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So today i remember was the day last year when i tried to propose to my crush and failed :slightly_frowning_face: altough it is now a distant memory I still think about the person I was a year ago.
During that time I thought to myself as to why I get this crazy impulses to do things that I later regret.I then went deep and found out that it was my addiction to pmo that was fucking my life.(After crying of course).As it is the case with any problem, it is essential to find the root cause and not bullshit with what you think is the problem.I thus found out about nofap and so have been on this journey and hope to complete 90 days and beyond.

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keep sharing brother

i think reading your diary will help me some way. i can connect somewhat with your diary.
thanks for starting your diary brother
if you need any help without hesitation just @tag me

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Today’s update(Day 5)
Feel way better than yesterday where I really felt low and was on the brink of a relapse but I controlled as I can not keep digging this hole that is taking me away from my dreams or opportunities.I started some new skills but the quartaine period has had its effects on me and I relapsed several times.
I look towards the future with hope.
Onwards.

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Today’s Update:(7days)
I had this very low period where I did not want to do anything and was not able to get any work done and I really feel frustrated which so much work on my hands.
If you guys have any suggestions please do let me know.
Onwards.

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Day 8
Yes finally completed 1 week and a day
Took me over 2 months to come till here and yes I am excited but at the same time am not able to get any work done and it sucks :pensive:, It is one of the worst flatline phases for me and quite early compared to last time.

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The reason why I named the username of mine as masterofemotions was because I wanted to master those feelings and emotions which often get the better of us in the moment and we later regret it.
For example it may be the emotion of the urge to fap or even the emotion of anger and we often say to ourselves mentally," I lost control of myself", and thus it is important to have control over those emotions.

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@Adioz Do not worry about relapse you are a inspiration to me by starting this challenge of 30 days :smiley:

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Day 9
Weird mood swings today in the start was feeling energetic and now low.
Atleast not like yesterday where I was on complete low.
“It doesn’t matter where you begin it matters where you end.”

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Day 10
The past memories of those times often come back and the thought of that broken try to get her irritated me and I tried to fight it when I realised that there is no point fighting it and I focused on my work.
For any of you who feel broken,lost because of a relationship/break-up, I would suggest to focus on making your future and ignore that thought by increasing the workload.
I’m not a pro at it but am trying.
Onwards.

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I was and I am still same… what you’re talking about.
Yup I agree we realize after having breakdown either we do break up or not . Once we lost our loved once that memories won’t go anywhere. We always fight with the belief we had about ourselves or the way we judged ourselves. And we always want to search for the reason why she left me all alone… ?? We suffer because of all the emotional breakdown. But it heals day by day only when we stopped thinking about her (which looks impossible) but we forgot that she is just small chapter in our life. And the experience we felt will help us to cross the hurdles on the way to better ourselves .

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Woah, Time flies and right now I am day 11 and I am getting urges but it has less effect than on day 1 which helps but the main reason was I don’t want to go to that shitty lifestyle of fapping which is draining your energy.
Keep going forward guys, it is must.

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True, I agree with what you say.
How is your journey going? @Adioz

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TTs pain make the journey little hard for an hour but other time I spent time on other skills . Like reading book and learning new skills online… Etc
It felt amazing when we continuously learning everyday… Once we stopped learning all the negative thoughts started backfire on me and push me toward my sad past.

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Day 12
I read the thread written by Neo’s Diary and @HappySoul had made a comment regarding making a journal which I think is useful and have been implementing it.I have tried a typing diary but it never really worked for me.
It is sad to see many of the people who started the challenges which I am a part of fail and it really becomes like a loop(relapse cycle),if any of them are reading this please know that I have failed for over 1 year and my highest streak has only been 23 days,the most important thing is I have not given up.
I will share some strategies along the way as I improve myself.
Onwards.

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#STRATEGY 1
The staircase method for Nofap and self-improvement(adopted strategy)
The main points:
1.Draw 15 days or around that many number of steps(for example 15 steps) on a chart paper or A-4 sheet (chart paper is more preferred I will explain later)
2. As you complete each day just keep moving up the stairs(by drawing stick figures) and that’s it(now in the starting days say until 30-45 days it helps keep momentum),and also draw a stick figure crying
Here is the pic of the one I use currently(please forgive my drawings)(This my first pic I have uploaded)


(#My personal view)So chart is more preferred because you can easily draw the steps and you do not get overwhelmed like it may happen in a a-4 sheet.You can add number of hours in studies or work below the stairs.

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Dealing with urges on nofap
The hardest part of nofap is fighting the urge,you are not doing nofap to not fap(you do that anyways for almost 22-23 hours a day), you are starting nofap to fight the urge to do pmo
Let me repeat, you are not starting nofap to not fap you are starting it to fight the urge
So this is just the beginning of few more strategies that come under this,as this is the only real thing required for Nofap.

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