This is just day zero of my no fap challenge on this app but this is not my first time.
I’ve got something really juicy for you to think about…
I’ve dived deep into this journey of self discipline and control and fighting the urge to spill your seed for a few minutes of guilt-ridden pleasure.
One thing I’ve learned from reading a couple of books and lots of articles is understanding what triggers your thoughts to masturbate.
This is going to be rich, so stay with me…
When you figure out these cues and triggers, the challenge becomes as simple as ABC.
Habit, according to a book by Charles Duhigg, is a result of strengthening this pathway: CUE - ROUTINE - REWARD
What does this mean?
In this case, cue = your triggers such as suggestive music or movies, loneliness, boredom, stumbling onto internet ■■■■ ads, etc.
Routine = masturbating or watching pornography (the thing you usually do in response to these triggers)
Reward = 6 seconds of relief and release (maybe longer if you employed some tricks)
To kill this snake, cut it’s head. The head of this snake we speak of are the cues and triggers.
Crazy analogy for those who like snakes but it makes more sense as we go on.
Here’s a real life example:
As I was walking on the road this afternoon, I spotted about 13 triggers. Just walking on the road!
Our mind is an amazing thing. Looking at a beautiful girl led to thoughts about other girls I know that looked that beautiful, which led to thinking of which one of them I’d slept with in the past and also led to thoughts about what the experience was like. I was triggered.
I saw a girl in a low cut blouse looking hot asf and it reminded me of some of the hotties I’m following on IG (I have to unfollow those girls) and that dragged me down a slimy hole of the thoughts I had about those girls. Another trigger.
There were little things but they all point to one thing: Looking at beautiful women leads to impure thoughts in my mind.
To cut the head of the snake, will I stop looking at beautiful women?
That’s not possible, except I want to become a hermit.
What I have to do is reorient my mind; reshape it. The Bible (sorry, to those who aren’t Christians) mentions this.
“Guard your heart with all diligence”
“Be ye not conformed to this world”
“Renew a right spirit within me”
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” — Philippians 4:8 NIV
And many other scriptures that speak about how we should control the way we think.
Let’s see how this translates to my unique case…
I have to change the way I think about beautiful women. I did this when I was a teenager using help from the bible also, where Paul told Timothy to think of older women as mothers and younger women as sisters.
I realized you can forget what you learn. Even stuff you’ve practiced.
I have to bring it back. Because I have 30 days to go.
I will remove that head of the snake that makes me think of beautiful women in a sexual manner. And instead just admire God’s beautiful creations as beautiful mothers and pretty sisters.
That’s one trigger dead and I’m one step closer to being a complete and proper young man (in my opinion).
What about you? What are your triggers? And how will your crush the head of the snake?