Making sense of my relapse

relapsed
#1

I didnt have urge. Stress was underbthe hood. Nothing. I was just walking back home from work and feeling needs to entertain myself so no urge would make a surprise attack at me. So I went to this cyber cafe and watched cartooon. You know, not movies. It was harmless. And public space. But I don’t know why I felt down. I cant recall up till now. So the ads was triggering though not veey mild but I didn’t fight. Just lost my reason there… and I keep scrolling to see the ads and later on this man played music on loudspeaker mademe so uneasy and I just lost there. I went back home and just fap… ignoring anything else. Im confused.that ads was a really turning point moment. But I cant recall why I didnt fight the urge. It took me down where I was trying to avoid this very thing

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#2

Person who has not made a mistake never tried something new
Chill bro you dont have to fight these demon
Whenever something appeling come
JUST CHANGE THE DIRECTION OF MIND
DONT LOOK THAT AGAIN
THE MORE YOU YOU SCRATCH THE MORE ITCH YOU FEEL