[M26] Strongerthandemons' diary

DAY 1
Today day 1 has successfully passed. The easiest day, actually, but still it is important.
I met my old friend today and we shared some thoughts about giving up destructive behaviour. He spoked about smoking, but this addiction is basically the same: you do things you know you shouldn’t on regularly basis.
I must confess that I was weak: I ate some junk food and drunk alcohol today a bit. I am not drunk, but anyway I see it as a loss, and tomorow I’m not gonna do it again.
On the other hand, I did some sports today - that felt really good.
Hope so much to keep coming stronger and smarter. God help us all, brothers.

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DAY 3
I was pretty busy yesterday, so I didn’t wrote anything about day 2.
I haven’t eaten any junk food in this two days, and I’ve been working out yesterday, spent a lot of time with people close to me, and met new ones. Basically, I haven’t any time for urges. Felt really good.
As for losses, unfortunately, I did not worked hard enough yesterday. You see, I work at home right now due to the pandemic, and it really affects my productivity. So, if I have no deadlines, I can’t concentrate and barely work, and that leads to necessity to work twice hard when deadlines come. On the upcoming week I should stop having my phone on my desk, while I am working.
Also I saw here some successful companions and that gave me a bit confedense. I really appreciate that you share your stories, guys, thank you.
God help us all, brothers.

DAY 5 successfully passed.
Day 4 was really contradictory: I went to an art gallery and thought a lot about meaning of culture in our lives… Unfortunately, consumer society pulls us to take more and more products, and if they are legal no one cares, how it affects us. P*rn is awful in many ways, but its legal in many countries, so its up to us to control what kind of media we consume.
But, also I felt really angry to myself yesterday. I think its some kind of urges, because I was stressed as hell. The reason for that anger was my envy of some really successful acquaintances. I should learn to get rid of this emotions and channel my energy into motivation to reach my own goals. And of course, be happy for people, who have achieved something.
Also, I’ve vaccinated today, so i’ve gonna have some side effects, they say. Might skip sports for a few days.
PS I know, that vaccination is a very controversial theme, so I feel, its important to assure all of you that I completely understand and respect people, who are not ready to get a vaccine or are not gonna do it at all. But it was my own decision based on experience of my friends and family.

DAY 6
Side effects from the vaccine went suprisingly well. But work today and yesterday was still not productive, I felt fuzzy and unconcentrayed due to my body temperature, it was a little bit high. I am still going through it.
I was thinking today about having a checkboxes with daily habits here. That might be usefull to have more control of my live. If anyone could share the experience with this kind of posting, I would be grateful.

DAY 7
So happy to have the first week of this streak completed! I had some kind of test this morning: my dreams went to a nightfall, but fortunately I woke up before it happened. Because of it, I’ve been followed by urges all morning, but cold showers + working out + motivatiomal music did right and I did not relapsed!
Today I started a new big task at work, then my team leader called me and gave two more complicated tasks :sweat_smile: But I see it as showing trust in me, cause these projects are really important to our company.
Also started a new habits challenge. I’m interested, where its gonna get me.
See you all tomorrow, my friends. God bless!

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DAY 8
Day started really good: I woke up early and spent free time before work reading. Also did a workout session at the break.
But, unfortunately, after it, something went wrong, and I spent too many time with my smartphone instead of working, and finally went to bed to late, after meeting with my friends. Don’t like this feeling of guilt. Of course its not a relapse, but still I could do much better.

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DAY 9
Going to bed that late was a huuuge mistake. I failed miserably and couldn’t find any motivation to day anything, so most of my morning wasn’t done. Thank God I did not relapsed, btw.
And I had so much stress because I’ve been arranging moving some furniture from one appartment to another: it felt good to make it happen.
Tommorow its gonna be much better day, I feel.

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