DAY 12
After work I visited a dentist today. That seems like a normal thing, but I haven’t done it for three years! Through this streak I started to put attention to the things which matter, like my health, my relationships with my family, my job.
Great feeling to make my own life better.
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DAYS 13-14
Actually, I worked half of this weekend and liked that pretty much. I love making new social contacts at work, that makes me feel more connected to our common work!
Today I went to a cinema with a girl… We were there as friends, but I felt some kind of chemistry between us. I’m not sure there it goes, but I’m definitely gonna see her another time.
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DAY 16
I skipped few days here, and there is a reason why: today I had the presentation of my project at work in front of heads of all departments. So last three days I was literally working or sleeping, that’s all.
The presentation went fine, of course a have a lot to do, but I am happy make progress.
Nofap gave me motivation and strength to be ruthless to myself when I nedeed it: I skipped lunches and worked late hours, as a result I didn’t failed in front the chief designers and engineers.
The other thing, is that I was completely calm and determine through the presentation.
But now I clearly need some rest. Working out and going to bed earlier surely will do the thing.
See you tomorrow, friends!
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DAY 18
Right now I feel really depressed. It is about one girl. We have been together for a month half of a year ago… It was only a month, but she became a sun, a guiding star for me. Our break up was one of the reasons for me to join nofap companion.
It is some kind of ironic and tragic coincidence, that today I saw her in a dream first time in last few months… and I saw her today in reality with the other guy.
I know, I wrote about another girl few posts earlier, but now I realise, that I am using her to forget someone. That’s not fair. I can’t use anyone as a tool to fix my own feelings and problems.
I think I should keep myself away from relationships until I really rewire and start to respect and trust myself.
I haven’t worked out, read, or doing my morning routine because of work and this problem. At least I have my streak. Must start tomorrow with a cold shower.
Maybe it’s a flatline? Please, someone who have experienced it, wright me about your ways to deal with it. It will be really useful.
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I cannot speak much for flatlines, as my flatlines have never been terrible and they were usually pretty short, but I will say that starting my day off by writing down everything that is bothering me (get it all out) and then going for a long, intensive run usually helps me to clear my thoughts and focus on my tasks for the day. That and to make sure I get a good night’s rest.
Maybe that will help you to get out of this rut of thinking about the whole situation. Either way, it sounds like a smart move to get out of it until you move up in your rewiring process.
I wish you all the best in figuring this out brother 
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It’s not just your streak brother. I have been following your jouney and you are doing much good.
This would work for me as well. One thing i would add with this is that, i consciously tell myself that it will get ok soon. Yeah, i am feeling bad thinking about her, it will pass. It’s easy. And after a good night’s sleep i feel a lot better if not completely ok.
I wish I could help any more than that. That’s all i’ve got.
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@Special_Bird, @ERNOL, you are such great companions, my friends. It’s a really good advice to have all my problems written down. It seems like a first step to solving them. I always do this at work, but I have never thought about using this approach in other parts of my life. Thank you so much. Unfortunately, I don’t have much opportunity to run in winter in my country, but I think push ups, pull ups and dips will do.
Actually, it got better. My negative thoughts aren’t gone completely, but I have some progress.
I thought today, that I can’t let others peoples actions, like this girl going out with someone, be in the way of my reboot.
I’m happy, I didn’t relapse in that dark moment. Now I must get back in a game!
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@ivres i also don’t run outdoor in winter. For me, The point of exercise was to shift your focus, putting you back in control. It puts things into perspective. Refreshing the mind. Kind of like clicking ‘refresh’ in your computer. In the situation you faced, do something which has the same effect for you. MMO FPS does the same thing for me even though i don’t recommend it for others.(it’s very easy to get addicted to). So, side effects are dealt with now comes the main issue.
Personally, i don’t have any ex but i had my heart crushed because of my crush(pun intended, sorry 
). I never found a way to get close to her. from the heartbreak, i observed that, it always pass. I do become ok at one point. This certainty of future always helped me recover. Gives me sense of control. So i tell myself it’s easy.
I trust you will find someone meaningful in life. No need to sweat at all, brother.
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Glad to help brother 
Same here with the winter, but my outlet is usually martial arts during the rainy season.
Exactly! Those thoughts could easily have become fodder to feed the flame of the urges, but you didn’t let it get to you, great work brother! It is useless to let such events get in the way of our improvement, it can’t help it anyway.
Yes get back in the game, you got this! We are here cheering you up and onwards 
I’m happy, I didn’t relapse in that dark moment. Now I must get back in a game!
Yes, remember after dark there is always sunrise.
You deserve props friend. I will say you are doing even better than me. 
You are awesome!
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DAY 21
Its 3 weeks. I can’t say that things are going as smooth, as everyone wants, but I am still going.
All that relationship situation is still having some part of my attention, but I can handle it. Actually it motivates me in some way, but sometimes my thoughts are bitter and dark.
I blocked facebook and instagram in my phone. Its interesting, how I see things differently, despite the fact that my streak isn’t long at all: that kind of social media is some kind of addiction too. I am not saying I am quitting it forever, but were won’t be any problem to have them blocked till next weekend.
This day was fine, I worked out a lot and had a haircut) On the other hand, I spent too much time watching some series online. It helps to get distracted sometimes, but some scenes might lead to relapse. Must be careful.
Oh, and I really appreciate help and attention from @Special_Bird and @ERNOL. Gentlemen, I am so happy to communicate here with you and everyone who reads, comments and likes this journal. I’ve couldn’t made this three weeks without you.
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If you didn’t have it in you, you wouldn’t make it this far. You are awesome, man!
About relationship… I am not even gonna pretend i know much about this stuff and give advice about it.
I can try about other stuff though. E.g.
you can experiment with this now or anytime in the future. See if this helps. To improve your mood. Just my 2 cents. Try doing something that gives you satisfaction, the feeling of achievement.
Motivation is very good.
But if it continues at this point i would stay aware and careful. Not that i would panic and worry about relapse. Rather, I’d just make a mental note and then leave it, don’t worry about it. I would be aware that Ok, given current circumstances i may have a chance to fall prey to my enemy, so I will take care of myself that i don’t relapse… however necessary.
Always cheering for you from the other side.
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Well, it’s a powerfull idea. Right now I have a plan to start a podcast in my native language about history and meaning of technologies, because I have something to say from my point of view, but still can’t find time for it. But I’m gonna try hard to realese it in 2020. That will be a real achievement for me.
I see your point. My evening meditation sessions which i do twice or three times a week give me some kind of awareness. I mean, I feel calm and humble after it, but I see the possibility to fail. Thank you so much for noticing it, I think I’m gonna pay more attention to this effect next time.
Stay strong and confident, good friend!
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DAY 22
But I woke up earlier today, made my gymnastics, had a cold shower and some proper breakfast. Liked it. Unfortunately got late to work because of a traffic jam. That should be a lesson for me to be prepared for this kind of things.
Deprivation from social networks feels good, but I’ve got much urges to use my smartphone. It’s a real addiction, sometimes I took my phone without any purpose. Need to work on this problem hard.
In the evening, tried some new exercises through my workout session. That was hard for me, I haven’t done much, but I feel satisfied cause I feel exhausted 
Gonna have a shower, and meditate a bit. Have so much to do till New Year.
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DAY 23
Right at this moment I had some insomnia issues, so I found it appropriate to summarize my foughts here. Maybe it’s gonna help me to sleep. A lot of things happened this day, all I want to say right now, that I had serious urges, but I didn’t picked, edged, or relapsed. Another thing is that today I realized, that the way to your own happiness involves fighting and sacrificing at the same time… And its a way which doesn’t look good at the first glance. I’m happy I learned it today. I’m sad of the urges, so I feel really confused right now. Maybe another meditation session will help me.
Oh, and of course I want to wish Merry Christmas to every Christian companion, who reads this. Be safe, strong and mindfull! Happy holidays, and good luck
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Hey brother, good job for pushing past the urges, even in the face of insomnia. That takes serious determination. I get insomnia too sometimes which can be seriously frustrating. I usually try to read through a book until my eyes feel super tired and typically that helps. But hey if all else fails it never hurts to take a melatonin once in awhile, sometimes I’ll do that if I’m off my sleep schedule and I know it’s gonna be a long night.
7 days till 1 month bro! Merry Christmas to you too! Stay strong 
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Strong determination indeed, friend.
The thing about relapse is that we always feel bad afterwards. Relapse is not worth it. Ever.
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DAY 26
I liked this day. First of all, I feel better after some kind of flatline, insomnia and urges.
A lot if things that helped me, came from this forum, so I am grateful for everyone here.
Besides, the probation at my work is officially over! I was so happy, when our chief designers’ deputy, my direct boss, had said that I approved my qualification! But there are so much things ahead.
Besides, my brother had found a new job, a better one. I am so happy for him! He was really depressed by situation at his previous place. So I am starting new year refreshed, motivated and happy, same as my one of my closest family member.
Keep finding, friends! Every dark moment ends. There’s always a light.
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Congratulations, my friend! I’m so happy for you! You’ve got this!
And remember:
Always.
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