[M24] Ivres' diary

After long series of relapses I realized, that this app is not enough for me. Maybe diary will do. I know where I must get: be strong, willful, mindful. But the road there… I don’t think about it. So this topic will be my road.
DAY 0
The day seemed okay, but my ego took other me. After waking up early, having a cold shower and working out, I did some of my casual things to do. In the evening… I just got bored. And I thought, that I’m OK, and again, I thought, that its okay to relapse. Damn. I’m not OK. I’m single, I spent too much money, I don’t work as hard as I could. I’m not the man I could be at all.

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Welcome back to the forums man!

Glad you are reevaluating your situation and trying new strategies. I think you are going to find that journaling is an amazing tool for staying mindful and better understanding yourself and your urges. Put your all into it and it will surely give you great knowledge in return.

Keep fighting man :facepunch:

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Sincerely thank you for your reaction, man!
Reading comments like this is exactly the thing I need right now.

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DAY 1
Allright. I woke up as I planned at 6:15. Not so early as I could, but it’s a progress. Then I had usual morning routine: gymnastics, streching, cold shower, breakfast.
I go to work by public transport, so I can read there, currently I’m reading the “Moral Letters to Lucilius” by Roman philosopher Seneca the Younger. Great book, by the way, but the problem is, social networks really distract me, so basically, I went through only 10-12 pages. Need to deprive myself from instagram and other stuff in the mornings.
At the job I finished some current tasks, that’s good. But after lunch I haven’t been to productive. Must sleep more, to have more energy after I eat. The worst thing, I had some lustful thoughts. As I can see, they went from my lack on concentration in the moment of physical weakness. So, I shouldn’t have this moments and take care more 'bout my projects in job.
At home I spent some time learning German (as English, it’s not my native language), working out, having dinner, and working on my personal project. Time for meditation and going to bed.

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DAY 2
The day was a bit special :slightly_smiling_face:
Although my mourning routine was exactly like yesterdays’, today I had a business trip to the branch of the company I work in. So I traveled to the town nearby. Really enjoyed two ours I spent in a train: I had time to read enough, and make a plan to optimise my consumptions.
In the evening I spent some time with my friends. Unfortunately, because of this, I didn’t work out today, but for me, socializing is kind of a training too! Good luck, friends, see you tommorow.

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DAY 3
Oh, I think I can say that the day was hard: I didn’t sleep well, as a result I felt exhausted most of the time. But my morning routine stayed the same. Actually some motivational podcasts from Jocko Willink really helped!
If someone haven’t heard about this guy, you should really listen his podcast: he is a speaker, a writer, and most of all, a real warrior. The person I’m looking up to right now.
Want to sleep so hard, that I’m going to bed a bit earlier.
PS Thank you for all your likes, my friends. I really appreciate it. Also, I realized, that this diary is a good training for my English. I hope, I don’t make many mistakes :slight_smile:

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hi im on day 1 ,after many relapses starting this journey becomes very difficult because of regrets …how long you are doing nofap

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Hello there! I’m doing it since July, my biggest streak was 30 days…
I understand what you are talking about. Many failures can break your devotion to stop this addiction, but as long as you are trying, your journey isn’t over. That is musch more important, than the number of your relapses. Don’t trust your emotions, make new strategies using the best weapon you’ve got - your mind.

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do you know any plan ,which we can follow

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Shure. First of all we must keep ourselves busy all day. The day must be full of different activities and routine: working out, meditating, reading, writing, etc. So you should plan your every day hour by hour.
Another important part is to entertain yourself. Don’t get distracted by porn: play games, listen to music, learn new skills. There cannot be any second for porn in your life.
If you will follow this plan, in some time, you mind will free itself from pmo addiction, and then a new life will begin.

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Great job on your journey so far man, keep this going!

By the way I love the Jocko Podcast, my dad actually works out and does Jiu-Jitsu at his gym, that is how we found out about his podcast and his books. He has got some great advice.

Have you read his book Extreme Ownership? I would highly recommend it.

And don’t worry, your English is very good.

I’ve heard about his book, but I haven’t read it yet. Thanks for the advice, I was looking for a book to read after I finnish “Moral Letters to Lucilius”.
And thank you so much for your posts, man! You are really supportive member of this community, it is good that you are here!

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Yes it is a very good one to read after that. I’ll have to take a look at Moral Letters to Lucilius, I had never heard of that one until you mentioned it earlier.

Thank you brother! I’m glad to help :slightly_smiling_face:

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DAY 4
I really need to manage my time better. I haven’t sleep enough again, and I was distracted all day at work. What is good, my mourning routine and working out were there.
Tomorrow I will put my phone into the bag for the whole day, and I won’t get distracted.
Urges were hard today. But I remember about this forum, and that made me stop it. It works by now, but I must be stronger tommorow.

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