[M] Thebishoppair's Journal (no PM)

Hi there. A bit of background. I’ve been in a long term relationship with a partner for the last six years. We have fantastic sex and I’m not ever going to change that, given it’s natural and healthy so it’s off the table as far as this challenge goes. I’m also coming from a place of genuine curiosity as a scientist (physicist). I have, more or less, successfully integrated porn into my life. It doesn’t really get in the way of my relationship, my sex drive or anything like that. I am, however, very curious to see if the truths of porn abstinence resulting in an increase of drive, positive emotion, and well-being are as pronounced as advertised. These outcomes, if real, would be something I see porn as worth sacrificing for. And I suppose this is where I depart from the traditional no fapper, I think. To me, sure, we’re not evolved to consume porn. But we’re not evolved to do a lot of things we do. I’m willing to accept certain damages to my well-being if and only if those damages are sufficiently small, for the excitement of pornography. I am, like any dutiful scientist, a pragmatist at heart. My aim therefore, is to quantify the damage. If by the end of a 90 day period (maybe longer, given that I’m still having sex) I quantify the improvement to my life and find it is worth ditching porn for then that is what I shall do. If not, the experiment will still have been worth it. I would know what I am sacrificing for porn and that I consider it a good trade. Thus begins my experiment.


Day 1

First day has been pretty breezy, which is not very surprising. I’ve definitely gone 1 - 2 days without porn here and there. Also had sex today which definitely helps. Curious for day 2/3 and onward.

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Day 2

Day 2 was similarly easy, once again had sex so had that to look forward to. I did have a few urges in the morning but they weren’t hard to persevere through.

I’m on day 3 now, however, and having my first real challenge. I am sure we will not have sex today, as we have had it two days in a row and we usually take a break after 2 consecutive days. To make things worse, my partner has gone out for the day until 6pm which leaves a loooooot of time. This would be the kind of day when I usually consume porn. Hope I push through. I’m already sorely tempted.

Just look at the guys on this forum. It all starts with small bites of porn. These hormones are very addictive and it ends in ruining life. I’m not sure if such an experiment will give you real output as you’re still in happy relationship, not sure if you got addicted and now just stopped watching it.
I’m also not sure if such experiment is necessary. It’s addictive as every other drug and it’s similar hard to leave it. Try coke or weed and you’ll have all the same.
As you’re watching stupid tv show and then seeing this stupid stuff when in shower and then you go to bed thinking about it. It’s same with porn. It fills your brain and takes you.
You’re not addicted, stop your experiment and don’t go back to porn. Porn kills love.

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Are you confused about what I have written ? I suggest you reread what I have said.

I most certainly am addicted to porn. I have been addicted to porn since I was young. The point of this experiment is to not use porn for 90 days, and to see how that affects me. Your advice of -

“Stop doing your experiment and don’t go back to porn”

…makes no sense at all because…yes… the whole point of the experiment is to go off porn ?

That being said, maybe you’re saying there’s no point in deciding after the 90 day period, whether or not I want to consume porn. You say, for example, that porn is the “love killer” and that I should just not consume porn.

Here, I’m sorry but you are simply not scientific enough for me if this is how you think. Like I said. I am a pragmatist. If after the 90 days I see no difference in my life, and I’m still happy in my relationship, give me one good reason to give up porn ? There is no reason unless there is an effect. I want to see what that effect is. And I’m sorry but porn quite clearly is not a love killer because I’ve been in love with my partner very happily, and with great sex for 6 years. I’ve been consuming porn regularly that whole time, (maybe twice every 3 days).

My interests are in how much better life can be. That’s the fundamental thing everyone wants. If giving up porn doesn’t make my life better, I won’t give up porn. If it does, then I will. That just seems like common sense to me.

Day 5

Day 5 and going strong. Day 3 was really really REALLY tough. My GF wasn’t around and I nearly did it so many times but I’ve made it to day 5! Day 4 was much easier cus gf was here. And today we’re going for a 2 week trip to my parents house which should help a LOT as I’ll be super occupied all the time. Not as many chances to use.

Only thing to watch out for is bathroom trips. I’m going to make sure I never take my phone to the bathroom. Hope that helps.

Hope everyone else is going strong ! Wish me luck for the coming days.