Luluspetspa's Diary - Truth my first time being truthful

I am lost . I am married. I hate myself for allowing myself to follow to such great depths . I truly believe that porn is evil it creeps into your life and before you know it it takes over your life. the worst part of all is the p*** that we turn you on his way harder and way worse it makes you feel so horrible inside. I’m not talking about any illegal porn . I’m just talking about the morality level of what you watch gets worse and worse because it takes a greater level of depravity to turn you on. and that brings your self-worth down to newer and greater depths. everyday I want to tell my wife that I need help but she has no clue and if I did I’m sure she would leave me. I have told my children because they’re in their teens not to look at it and I’ve told my son that it’s addictive. but I’m such a hypocrite. I wish I can go back to when I was


@123lost, welcome to this forum where there are thousands of men and women facing the same shame. You are definitely not alone in this. And you will also find here exemples of a huge number of people who are fighting the addiction, beating it and recovering their dignity.

This can be you too. Welcome to the team. Strengthen yourself to the battle, believe the victory and march on! :facepunch:

Do it for your family. You don’t necessarily have to tell them about right now. That’s not being hypocrite. Just do it for them. And show up everyday a little better.


123lost, You are not alone in this. I’m also married with Children. I confessed everything to my wife and she forgives me and understands that this is an addiction and is a world wide epidemic that is destroying people. She is hurt when I relapse, but she always helps me back on my feet.

I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your wife, but if you have been a good husband and a good father, she will not leave you for being honest with her. Different people give different advice on whether to tell your spouse or not, but I have never felt more free from shame than after I first told my wife about my addiction. The shame and the secrets only compounds to make you feel more worthless and hopeless which in turn makes you want to run to your coping mechanism (PMO).

You may be broken, but you are NOT beyond repair. You can never take back what has happened, but you CAN decide what happens from here. Will you wallow in self-doubt and misery? Or rise to the challenge and join with us to kill this transgression?

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