why oh why, I relapse again after 8 days. I feel so small now, I feel I cannot win this battle, 1+ year I fight with this sin and I always lose the battle, this temptation was too hard.
I realized the worse that everytime I feel down, I seek refuge to this sin. It’s rooted deep beneath my subconcious that everytime I feel down, my brain automatically craving for PMO, and after that the I feel so much worst, much worse that a pile of s**t.
Today relapse is my lowest point, the thing is my crush is ghosting me, she didn’t text and didn’t give me a good response to my text, I feel dumped (yeah I know I’m weak). The worst thing was my brain automatically seek PMO instead of praying to ease my urge. I was willingly be enslaved once again to my lust and sin.
Another worst thing is I know that it’s sin and I treat sin lightly. “this is my last time doing this”, “I need this”, “I know God would forgive me”. Damn I really feel like s**t, playing with my salvation like that. is there any hope for me? I feared my repentance was not real, I feared my love to God was a fake love.
Anger or blaming yourself like you did now will not change something
Sorry , but this is what happened , you relasped and this happened for everyone trying to explore no fap trying to challenge him/ herself
That’s a real fact and that’s ok
What is ok ?
That you relapsed
Yes man What is ok too ?
That you blame yourslef and write this and want to solve this ( you want to change not playing )
There are good thing here and you are blind of it …
So ,we are ok that it’s normal
But I have a question for you
(you have to be honest with yourself , don’t write or answer to me but you have to answer to yourself … )
How this 8 days passed good ??# what did you do to let it goes clean from this high dopamine and this pain in the time …
Including this question there are another question
#What did you do to yourself ? What is the new thing or new habbit you tried or works with you ?! #
Without any suggestion from me or saying do or not to do …
But really what did you do to save your resistance ??
To make to help yourslef …
To make this relapse and this high anger that you feel now will happen again and you believe in yourself that you will watch ■■■■ you will not fap … you will give up …
I asked you and you have to answer to yourself ( not me ) to help yourelf…
About this …
Don’t waste your time with anyone now …I think you are not ready to face her ( You are not even able to confront yourself, how will you confront it )
I am really sorry but try to breath and think step by step
hold your fire inside …
You will be ok … think , believe and act .
Stop doubting , hope is around us in every where … only our brains who play with us this dirty play so stop
Don’t let the chance of starting again will go easy by asking this …
I’m sorry for. My hard way .
I hope that you will be fine soon and to be motivator and to goes on in your life .
There are some questions that unfortunately we don’t have the answer. We know that the fight against the sin will be something that will happen during all of our lives, but despite that bad news, God is always with us and He knows our hearts.
I know it’s awful relapsing a lot of times but try to keep your focus on what you can learn from all of it. Seek to get out of it more stronger looking at your relationship with God and especially with yourself.
Pray brother, pray and cry out that for God, talk to someone and don’t give opportunity to having your mind empty, like doing nothing and only thinking about it. Remember it’s not by our own strength but by His grace.
Thanks a lot for all your support and wisdom guys, after I cried and lament for my sin, I’m once again repent (by His grace) and not throw myself to self pity, I know His grace is enough for me, I know my sins are not bigger than His love and forgiveness.
@josebr Yes I’m a Chrsitian, one year ago Trinity God with His mysterious grace and love make me born again and give me Faith to Jesus as my one and only saviour (after 24 years being “fake” christian). I want to stop PMO not for my sake, but solely because my status right now is children of God, and you can’t say you live in the light but still have a dark side in you. Please pray for me, please pray that I always remember to seek refuge only to Him, not this sin.