Losing my mind! Please help!

This morning I had a monster of an urge. I got so entertained by this urge I actually got naked and grabbed my phone to look up arousing things on YouTube. Thank the stars my phone was shut off. So I rolled back in bed and laid there with my hands on my penis. I closed my eyes and just decided that’s as close to fapping as I’ll come. I then had a dream where I did masturbate and it caused ejaculation. Still I felt like I was conscious and I actually did masturbate. Once I ejaculated I got up got dressed and set off with my day thinking and believing it was all just a dream. I don’t know. I am thinking about counting it as a relapse but that means telling my girlfriend. I’m scared about how she’ll react because I remember how it hurt her the last time I looked at porn and masturbated. I remembered all of that even in my dream and when I woke up. I just need help and advice. I am losing my mind. Please help me!

I’ve had dreams were I relapse to, when I wake up and wonder “did I just do that or was it just a dream” and I have to check if there is any semen on me just to make sure.
That is just your brain trying to make you relapse, and since you are strong enough to resist while awake it messes with you while sleeping.
No it’s not a relapse, you can’t control your dream (unless you have had a lot of practice) so No No No, don’t worry and think of it this way. My brain can’t make me relapse while awake and It’s getting desperate… that means you have nearly beaten it :grin:
Take care


One more thing, I think it’s fantastic that you are telling your girlfriend about your relapses.