Looking for a companion on this Journey

Hello, I’m 32 years old and I still fighting to leave porn addiction. I need a partner to be accountable. I’m resposible person with respect for other people’s time and life experiences and I look for someone similar.

I feel like painful emotions from my childhood and current life not being the way I wanted contribute to me seeking porn. I also think I need a long time without porn to able to grasp the reality of sex and sexual experience. I have recently installed porn blockers on my devices and I have been able in many ways to reboot for around a month. It’s been really eye opening to know how distorted my view of sex have become because constant use of porn and also how my emotions are chanelled into this addiction. I want to be in charge of moving my life in the right direction and I want to face my emotions as they come and not to anestheziate anything with fake pleasure. I want a meaningful life with joy and full of experiences. I want also to be more emphatic and industrious. I want to be more clear headed and less obssesed with stuff I can’t change.

Anyways today I relapsed and I feel weird. I have not been concious of my addiction in a long time and it is hard to realize that I’m carrying this around. I want to awaken from this experience and I hope someone can join me too.

I will keep using this site as a journal I guess.

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I’m trying to cut down on my usage on this app, but I can still be here every day at least once or twice to help you out when needed. I don’t have to be the only one to help you though. Feel free to find a few other people that will maybe be on here more than me like @SirTryHard
Just let me know how I can help!

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Thank you for the offering man. If needed I can also be here if you want support.

I have never been part of this forum but I think that now I need to write down my emotions to be able to reflect on them.

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Hi. I’m not interacting in this forum like months ago but you can also count on me. Porn addiction for me unfortunately have been a way to run away from pain, stress and other several problems due to anxiety other things. I’ve lost interest in several good activities during the time but I’m giving the best of me, despite this “best” is not what I expected like to be.

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Thank you jose, I’m reading Russel Brand book about adiction that’s why I found the important of a partner in this journey. I hope I can be helpful to you as well.

I’m approaching life from multiples perspectives even if addiction is in the back of those perspectivrs. Excersicing, cold shower, putting into remission my autoinmune illness, being more organized toward my goals and I feel that those things have change my perspectives and have helped me a lot to me more emotionally healthy but still the addiction is more powerful that I though it was and I need help to be able to fight this not alone because it seems an overwhelming task.

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I understand you. I’ve been always fighting alone, knowing this forum and app are helping me a lot despite the distance.

My routine is not very good about what I would like to do to help with the addiction. I always tend to spend more time working and studying and don’t give too much importance to have some exercises and other healthy habits. The price I’m paying are some health issues as well.

Is the book you mentioned called “recovery”? I started reading “easy peasy”, a well known book here, but I stopped just because I was feeling discouraged.

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hey mate :wink: welcome!

first of all is it is great you came here to share and in search of a support network!
you gat a good one here if you are willing to share and grow here is a good space for that i have only been here for a couple of weeks but it helped me get my life a bit mor ein order and deal with the PMO addiction xD.

what exactly is your understanding/wishes of an acountabilty partner?

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Yes, that’s the book! Healthy habits helps a lot. Excersicing for me helps to clear my mind and also since you have to push your will power to do it, also feels like you have accomplished something during the day. Being along and just working and studying makes me hyperfocused on my mind. Doing things for your body makes you aware of thing outside the boundaries of your inner emotions thoughts, etc.

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Hey man, thanks for the support!

Since I started reading “Recovery” by Russel Brand, one of the steps of his program is to confess to you can trust how fucked you are. Basically what are the emotions you have inside you that you carry around. Not sure what happen next but that is one of the listed steps. Currently I’m writing why I think I use porn to anestheziate my emotions.

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