Looking back... My heart is heavy. But I'm so happy

I was in chemistry class. I met this amazing girl. I really was interested in her. But back then, I used to fap so much… that I couldnt even look at her in the eyes. I creeped her out where she no longer talked to me. And for 2 years I just kept living my fapping life. Then one day… terrible things happened and I missed her. I desperately wanted her to be my friend again. I messaged her but she blocked me. I tried to be someone well known to see if she would notice me again. But no.
Then I… I went to check how she was doing.
She got engaged…
She looks so beautiful and wonderful. She is so happy. And deep down all that I’ve done… I feel like my heart is so heavy… but I’m happy. Because she is happy… I realized… I finally must move on…
I’m so happy for you my sister in the Lord…
I can’t wait to see you again in the afterlife…

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