Last evening had a headache. Didnt eat dinner. Got tempted by a movie. Trigger warning.
In one of my previous streaks, i relapsed after i was triggered by a women in a movie. Actualy i had relapsed many times due to movies. While watching movies, i got lost in the scenes like it is happening in reality. Due to this, i have not watched movies from some months. Nearly all of the movies have some or other situations, scenes, women which realy triggers me and it creates a desire in me. Reality is that i am not so much confident about or belief in myself that i can resist the lust. I had sexual dreams today in night. In the end, i felt that i was in some control in the dream because i was not completly drowned in lust even when the women removed her top. I woke up after that. Yes. I didnt wetdream, just the dream was sexual, nude girls were there. I think the temptation which found some plot in my mind yesterday evening, went forward into my dreams and the desire was somehow fulfilled. Yeah i admit that yes the temptation got the better of me last evening because i found the women beautiful and this is truth.
I must not allow so much penetration of lust into my mind. Yesterday i found myself tricked because i was not aware, when the lust entered in the mind.
Today did my legs workout. I have bought mustard oil to massage my weak bones & muscles of legs. Without any activity the legs muscles have reduced in shape & size. Today there was a lot of brain fog. So many thoughts. Bliss is living in the present moment.