Day 14
Last night had trouble in sleep because i switched off the fan and i had the habit of sleeping with the noise of that fan. Slept late.
Woke up with flat energy again. Filled with thoughts. As usual roam a little bit in sun. Getting frustrated. Happy with the food i am getting & the luxury of Rest & money. Today didnt workout. Even if i can’t walk, for now i have to crawl towards the finish line.
Evening. Same day.
All of a sudden mood of workout sparks. I did cardio for my legs with double intensity as compared to earlier. I think, tonight i will have a nice sleep.
Wanted to cry at night. Something felt like emotions needs to flow but there is obstruction in the path. Heavy feeling.
Day 15.
After 5 days of my 2nd flatline, energy is back and more than before. Intensity has increased. Determination is doubled. Today i did 4 rounds of walking in morning. Before it was just 1. As soon as i woke up i realised the energy. I utiilised it well. Went straight outside and start my workouts. Did my chest workout.
I eat well. I have ordered 1 kg dry fruits as winter has arrived. I am eating fruits as well. Thank you God for the oppurtunity.
My funda is simple in this streak : Work, eat , rest, recover & most important staying true.
Just now, i repaired an old rusty door closing instrument. The energy is revitalising my brain and it is working great.
Great words brother 
Keep on fighting!
Day 16
Last night i had a running nose, i took vapour heat and slept. Today feeling relieved. Earlier i used to just visit doctor for cold but now i just do little things and get relief.
Today there is rewiring without energy. Eating healthy and staying active. Getting more into family, i mean social & loving in family.
Day 17
3rd flatline is going on Or 3rd phase of healing. It is less painful now. The rewiring is there. I can do things. It is less disturbing now.
All things are going good. Learning to find the solutions to my problems.
Day 18
Last evening had a headache. Didnt eat dinner. Got tempted by a movie. Trigger warning. 
In one of my previous streaks, i relapsed after i was triggered by a women in a movie. Actualy i had relapsed many times due to movies. While watching movies, i got lost in the scenes like it is happening in reality. Due to this, i have not watched movies from some months. Nearly all of the movies have some or other situations, scenes, women which realy triggers me and it creates a desire in me. Reality is that i am not so much confident about or belief in myself that i can resist the lust. I had sexual dreams today in night. In the end, i felt that i was in some control in the dream because i was not completly drowned in lust even when the women removed her top. I woke up after that. Yes. I didnt wetdream, just the dream was sexual, nude girls were there. I think the temptation which found some plot in my mind yesterday evening, went forward into my dreams and the desire was somehow fulfilled. Yeah i admit that yes the temptation got the better of me last evening because i found the women beautiful and this is truth.
I must not allow so much penetration of lust into my mind. Yesterday i found myself tricked because i was not aware, when the lust entered in the mind.
Today did my legs workout. I have bought mustard oil to massage my weak bones & muscles of legs. Without any activity the legs muscles have reduced in shape & size. Today there was a lot of brain fog. So many thoughts. Bliss is living in the present moment.
Day 19
Had a wetdream, this time i was completly lost in the dream. I woke up when i ejaculated and slept again, didnt went to bathroom. Trigger warning
I dont know but why i look, i mean this dream also there was a women with bare tits, she was wearing a jewel necklace. It was shining very bright. These dreams are related with my desires. I am still not confident about my, i mean deep down inside there is still some part of me which is seeking this pleasure of lust. Part of me wants to seek actual bliss. In between there is struggle. I think until i reach to the top, these dreams will be there. As long as i dont get enlightenment.
As usual the 3rd flatline phase is going on, as usual did my chest workout and all the basic things.
Day 20
Last night, i did a lot of walking till my legs joint start hurting. My main focus is on my legs strength.
Today, again the flatline continous. I did my biceps workout. Today, as it was dusshera festival some relatives were at home. I hide in store room. There were two options : fight or flight. I got stuck between both and end up choosing flight. I didnt want to show myself. I dont consider myself good enough to handle the social situation.
To get comfortable in my own skin & with society, i am doing this discipline. Yes. There are other reasons too. But today this is most important one.
Listening to music, to feel good. Last flatline ended after 5 days. Lets see how i wake up tomorrow.
Day 21
Yesterday my mother made mawa( milk fat ) for me. It is rich in fat & energy. I slept early yesterday. Today i woke up early.
Energy is Flat.
Oraganized my room, repaired a tap. Made pasta, eat banana. Playing candy crush.
Bathed in clay. Quited soaps & shampoos.
Feeling a lot of social anxiety. I hate myself.
I hate this. This cowardness.
Don’t hate yourself brother, you can get better with practice.
Start small with speaking and interacting with others and expand your comfort zone. Pick up conversational tips and tricks online too.
Just Relapsed. End of success story. 
Once i gave in completly and watched many videos. i had to forcefuly masturbate.
I was crying on one side and fapping on other.
So whats now ?
It is tiring to go through multiple flatlines and then throw away all the time & struggle.
Can you imagine how hard is the torture of climbing up & sliping down again into the same ugly meaningless life.
My life has become a tragedy. Why now ? Why i am crying now !! The oppurtunity is gone. The deed is done. No help is gonna come now… the dead wont rise. Stop this !! Now.
I remember one time when i was healed from this ugly life. I throw it all away !! Not due to flatlines, i was happy back then. I was rewired that time in just a month time. I was very comfortable that time. Yes. I ended all that and why ?
This is INSANE. Right ?
You are happy. You relapse. You are depressed. You relapse. Is this necessary ? Is Hell necessary ? Relapse is Hell. Yes . It is torture. Soul burning. Soul crying. No Help is coming. Lying in bed. Staying at this house like a prisoner of my own. 4 walls. Eating, drinking, breathing, talking, sleeping, walking. Same shitful life. Daily. No meaning. This is Numbness. This is Hell.
Countless diaries made. Burned. Countless streak wallpapers changed. Messaged people. Sorry ! I relapsed again !! Like what . Clap for this coward. He deserve some … Here we go again. Damn.
Can’t just bitch here all the frustration because the pain is too long. Believe me. Pain is Real. I am writing this, it means i am still alive. From this moment onwards i am writing again.
Success story Part 2.
Yeah i tried this man and it had worked. But yeah . After that when i was alone. I ditched my progress. And yes. Here we go again. We are again ready for the ultimate climb 
And believe me. This is ULTIMATE. Respect & love who have gone through the pain of Climb.
I saw your diary a little bit. Man, i think you have suffered more than me. I am sliping from the K2 mountains but you have sliped from the Mount Everest. The pain … i can feel. Your pain. My pain. We all are dealing the same Hell.
I want myself & every member of this forum to Reboot and experience the bliss. Where there is beauty & grace. Peace.
It’s a very difficult journey… It’s why we are warriors! And in the same time, it’s a easy task with the help of God 
Dont know man, Today no god came. I was asking for his strength from 2 days.
I felt helpless & alone.
Don’t lack faith like this…
You are right. I must had kept my faith.