Levi's diary 20 (I’m back!)

Day one,
I relapsed all the way twice in one day today, I honesty don’t know what’s wrong with me, I have no strength to stop this addiction right now, it’s like I have no control over my own mind, honestly it’s not surprising, I had a streak of 41 days and then my girlfriend broke up with me which was a great contributing factor, last week was the hardest week of my whole life, I think the other and main factor I’d I feel that I have walked away from God, and I feel that ultimately we don’t have the willpower on our own to beat this, I just pray that I can give myself wholly to God and that he can direct my paths. I honestly don’t feel any great power or urge to fight this addiction, but I pray that God will give me that, this addiction ruins relationships and hurts everyone it comes in contact with, most of all it hurts God, I know this intellectually but I want to really know it. I don’t have a certain goal because I feel that after that goal is reached it is easy to relapse, so I’m taking it one day at a time, but my goal is to be pmo free from here on out! Also I’m looking for accountability partners, don’t have to be Christian, we all are on here for the same reason

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This sounds lila a huge crisis for you. How can I help you to stay strong und encouraged?

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Day two
Things are definitely looking up, I talked to my ex-girlfriend and we are gonna take some time but are gonna try again, so I’m pretty happy about that. I didn’t really have urges today, I was really busy so that helped, but it seems that my urges are either not there or they’re really dang strong, so I’m praying that I will continue to resist. I want to beat this before I get back into my relationship, so I have some serious work to do, but with God’s power I can do it, we all can :). download


Thanks for the support, if you want we could share codes and be accountability partners



It would be a pleasure to be your companion on this journey.

Did you tell your ex gf about your struggles?

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Yeah did, that was part of the reason for the breakup

Day 3
I worked so hard today I just walked in the door and plopped down and slept for an hour, gonna go to bed in a min, so basically no urges today so that’s a blessing, I’m guessing it’s gonna be when I take a day off or on the weekend, but I’m gonna make it!!

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Did she break up with you?

Maybe then it was not the right person for you.

Yeah she did, but the pmo problem was just a factor, she understands because she has struggled with it in the past, but it was hard for her, I understand because it’s gonna be hard when someone says they love you and don’t want anyone else and then are looking up porn

I guess you will find a new Mrs Right.

Are you afraid of it?

We talked on Monday and are gonna give it another shot

Ok. Sounds cool. What does she think about now?

She understands, we are gonna give it a while before we get back into the relationship, and I’m gonna try and get a handle on this and try to start the relationship over kinda

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What about you man, how are you?

I guess that’s the best way to do.

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I am fine. My partner is very supportive to this matter. I cannot complain. It is definetely still. I am. On hard mode. No sex, orgasm or porn at all. But we still share our bed.

That has to be a serious struggle

It’s not too easy. But we’ll give our best.
Until now, it worked out very good.

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I’m glad for you bro :slight_smile:

Thank youu very much