Yeah good advice here. I find my faith helps me here as well because I know I’m breaking a commandment and can’t justify lust with any argument. I know from experience that porn has never helped me it’s just a drug I’ve used when I felt bad which then made me feel worse. So it helps being at church in a community of people who won’t condemn you but can never condone porn use. My main point : Accountable2you is a really useful piece of accountability software it won’t block anything or slow your pc but would you look at anything or try and bypass it when you know it will then faithfully report your attempts to your accountability partner? Any attempts to bypass will be reported even if you turn it off so treats you like a responsible adult not a child being locked out of things. Worth a try sales pitch over. But you will want to exclude things like messenger because it will literally track everything you do otherwise incl all conversations and report them too.
just a reminder for me:
adding "deleting all porn from phone, as well as erotic comics and all that stuff used for masturbation
Not entertaining ANY thoughts.
“what if’s…” “I feel…” “how do I…”
“I wish…” “I wonder…” “I can’t…”
Either look at them and ask “why?”
or if it’s an unsuitable time, (like before bed)
Leave them put them on the shelf for another day. “Now is not the time, because right now, I’m doing this other thing”
Entertain things you can do and things you’ve accomplished, and get back to the real world.
There’s people living in worse conditions than you & your 5, 10, 20 year lonely yearning habit.
Wanting physical affection isn’t a bad thing.
But if you do want to stop;
Turn the table. Stop entertaining these fantasies.
Get up, get out of bed, get active, and start using your skills.
Be proud to be You and Your decision to move forward. You’re an alchemist, and you probably don’t even realise it.
There’s guys (of all sorts) still jerking off in their bedrooms, but you, brother, are ditching those fantasies, for real life.
Have pity on those who haven’t even tried, and have their interests at heart.
So once again, keep ditching fantasy, don’t entertain thoughts
Sorry, I had a busy week. Had to focus my attention on other things.
@srubio I really like the idea of informing the new ones about what the journey could look like. I’m thinking about making one chapter where I can add things like how to approach nofap, what to expect (that would be posts like yours) and success stories.
I feel like these three things are important but also very subjective. Everyone will perceive these steps differently. Hence, I think I will only add links to topics about these three things. Like that I can add multiple views without making the post excessively long while also keeping it as objectively as possible.
May I shift your two comments into a new topic and add a link to it into my original post? Then people who have questions about your experience could also directly ask them in the new topic. Or I could lock it if you don’t want people to talk about it
@krishvamsi30 thanks a lot. I will add a part “How to start” where your 3 points would perfectly fit together with some additional ideas I have.
@rebooter81 thanks a lot. I will add this.
I love this part.
I will also look into this software and add it to the list.
@aoshigreen thanks a lot, great inputs will add them
(for me todo:
Find links to success stories and maybe shift srubios
- add krishvams posts
- add don’t create a new addiction to solve this one
- add faith and look into accountable2you
- add delete downloaded and analog stuff
- add aoshigreens)
Yes, sounds good, it would be a great idea💡.
I’m sorry, I started writing and when I realized I had already lengthened a lot. Actually I cut what I was going to say to the middle to dont interfere in your topic, so I think it is a good idea to shift my comments into a new topic.
don’t worry i liked you idea
it is a good addition
One thing that would be really useful for newcomers is the knowledge that willpower is finite, and is not a strategy that will lead to success.
I lost YEARS in relapsing and fighting against myself, getting an average of 15 clean days and always falling back down afterwards. Depending on one’s resolve and determination to quit, willpower can carry you through the initial days, but it always runs out. If you don’t have another strategy, relapse is almost guaranteed.
There are many strategies that people are using to navigate the urges and reach freedom. Mindfulness, meditation, constant reminders of why we’re on this journey, my personal strategy is using decision power - the power of choice is an unlimited mental resource. If I had fully understood that I needed to implement real change in my routine besides willing myself to quit, I would have been free years ago.
Me too using similar strategy now bro.
And its very practical and giving me good results.
Thanks bro for the tip.
Thanks to your help the post gets longer and longer
I added a lot. I guess you can see all the changes if you hit the “edit”-pencil on the post.
If I interpreted some of your ideas wrong please just text me
I still need to do the success story / what to expect chapter. Also, I think I will briefly add some ideas if and how to tell your wife/girlfriend. It is an often discussed topic in the forum
It’s nice to read this post
Some of the information is very vital to me at the moment, and something I hadn’t seriously considered. I’ve been a headless Chicken, trying to do stuff, when actually it’d be more productive to take it easy, do a little less, avoid things that will bring disappointment and frustration.
There’s always something to do, domestics, simple administration, simple work, helping others, offering my time.
Just sticking to the plan to NoFap for 3 days, or a week in my case, is enough for now.
Just reviving this thread for the newbies…
This is an amazingly complete post. Congregations @neveragaintw
Love this thread, thank you so much for this
Reviving this thread too
Thanks for this wonderful post!
Bump for newbies…
Increíble post for new ones, thank you.
This is so helpful! Thank you all!