In recovery, I’ve been haunted by this addiction for years. I’ve been through the relapse cycle more times than I can count, and I’ve watched it topple my best efforts at being the best I can be in every area of my life. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. I’ve come to realize that I’ve never been as prepared, experienced, or motivated as I am right now. That also continues to be the case every time I make any progress in recovery. I’ve made it past 90 days before and was floored by my potential and well-being. Guys, let’s do it; the time has come for us to stop running from ourselves and rise to our potential. Eliminate every toxic behaviour from our lives and learn from the best of the best. I’ve decided that 2018 is going to be my year and I refuse to give that up to any form of compulsion, addiction, or negativity. I’m letting go of my need to be needy. I’m letting go of fighting to embrace stillness (peace) and unconditional love (you know what I’m talking about, the deepest love you’ve ever loved, that’s it). This is who we are, deep down where words cannot reach…
If you’re ready to leave behind pornography for good in 2018, please leave a comment about why you’re quitting, what you’ve learned, why you’re going to succeed this year where before you had not and how you’re going to do it, specifically, what is your plan that is different than anything you’ve done or tried before to ensure your success. Why and how will this year be different? I’m excited to hear your responses.
My response:
I’m quitting because I found out how this addiction has been limiting me and holding me back in every area of life (after being scared into recovery by watching my addiction spiraling out of control before my very eyes turning me into someone that not only terrified me but most importantly was not authentically me). I’m ready now to rise to my peak and find out what I’m capable of. I will open a business on every continent to heal people, teach people, anddd assist people in becoming their greatest versions, including addiction recovery. To do this I must give this up. I am ready.
I’ve learned that no level of strictness is too extreme to ensure success, that no amount of self-pity, resentment, anger, or despair can ever provide the healing I deserve. I’ve learned that this addiction is truly a reflection of the parts of myself that I have been and still am highly resistant to addressing, feeling, and accepting that they exist. I’ve learned that persistence is key in success and that we are all far greater than we have ever imagined. These are just a few…
I’m going to succeed this year where I have not in the past because I am going to take any and all measures against failure, I’ll cancel my subscription to the internet and get a rude awakening if I have to, there is nothing that can stop my recovery now, I am alert and focused and will remain so indefinitely as I heal myself and find out what inside me is so fearful that I should try to patch and fill in a hole in my soul with such a futile act of PMO.
My plan is to literally create an imaginary accountability partner if I have to and to talk to them every day as we lift each other up and together get through the rough days. My plan is to write and re-write every day why I’m quitting and how I feel, then to post each day on my wall as a reminder. My plan is to stop using my smartphone except for once a day around people to get preordained tasks completed and then return the phone to non-use. My plan is to focus 110% of my energy into healthy eating, excercise, learning, growing, and improving myself in every way; If there’s something I’m scared of or think I could never do, (like learn a new language, speak confidently to any stranger, run a marathon, or learn an instrument, even climb a mountain) and dive into it and learn it til I’ve become good at it this conquering my fears and finding out what I’m capable of. My plan is to forgive all and to no longer take emotional responsibility for what happens in the outer world, but only to be responsible for how I feel and react to it by putting a small message on a piece of jewelry and using it as a tool to bring me into this space.
Namasté brothers. May the Great Spirit, mother and father of all, the Tao, whatever you know it as, the Source of All Creation, be with you always. Much love to you, let us rise together. <3
and yes fighting this monster