I guess I should check in day 1 and day 2 - hopefully youāll forgive me, brothers, for not doing it yesterday, as I was, wellā¦ Busy with things in the daily live
Checking in after day 2.
Checking in after day 3. I had a productive day today, I feel like Iām getting back on track. Howās it going for everyone else?
Yup, again - day 3 and 4 checked in! Iām not checking in daily, as I do not feel the need - and I guess thatās the whole point, isnāt it? Even if I admit that this forum is good, it is still a sort of crutch that helps us all walk. And at some point we should be able to walk on our own!
Yes, I agree. I feel like I need a crutch though. It helps me feel more confident. Except after today Iām already feeling less confident. Multiple times I nearly relapsed. By that, I mean I edged for a bit and then realized that wasnt what I wanted to do and I moved on. But itās scary how Iām thinking more with my pee-pee than with my brain sometimes. However, I am checking in after day 4. Iām still going.
Checking in after day 5.
As long as the crutch is needed, keep on using it! We are all in a process of healing, and depending on the depth of the ailment you will need different medicaments
I donāt think Iāll be looking up this forum anymore today - so Iām already checking in days 5 and 6, even though Iām 4 hours shortā¦
Iāll also try to promote some new attitude - it might be 6 days since my last fall into the swamp of PMO, but Iām also on a journey thatās already 331 days long!
Thats a great attitude, keep it up!
Day 1
9/7
Check-in
Checking in after day 6. Good stuff, letās go! Iām staying positive, and Iām trying to keep that Easy Peasy mindset.
Checking in after day 7. One week clean, Godās favorite number. Feeling good.
OK Guys! Days 7 and 8, going forward and to be honest - life is beautiful! Iām getting to know new people, living temporarile next to a couple with a young child, and got to know their friends - they met at a birth-giving school (hell, how is it called?), today met some awesome person who just out of nowhere decided, that it would really be awesome if I came to visitā¦
Hey, lifeās brilliant - go out and use it!
Checking in after day 8. Life definitely is beautiful. Good stuff, somebody
Checking in after day 9.
Hey Donan, there arenāt any more leaders here. You can join and run your own score if you want.
Checking in after day 10. Today was hard, and I had some urges. I eventually remembered how glad I was to be free from that crap, and I moved on. This happened several times. I did act on the urges a little bit, but I didnāt look anything up. All I know is that the little monster inside me is still clinging for dear life. I donāt want to feed it and grease those waterslides. Tomorrow will be better, because Iām getting better.
Today I reset my streak. I donāt really feel like I relapsed. I just slipped up. I made a mistake. And I canāt pretend Iām not upset about it. Of course I didnāt enjoy making this mistake. But I donāt feel like a PMOer again. I didnāt look at porn. I donāt really feel like going in detail, but basically I fapped to the notion of fapping. I didnāt even really think lustful thoughts. At least, not while it was happening. Anyways, I just need to not fap again. Itās as simple as that. There is no benefit to masturbation. It deprives me of energy and confidence, and there are many benefits of semen retention. I will not do it again because I do not want to. I am glad to have that clear in my mind. Even though my counter is at day 0, I feel better than I usually do on day 0. I am coming out of a swamp, and I have learned a new lesson.
Does anyone have any advice for dealing with urges to masturbate without porn?
I donāt know if anyone is reading my posts, but Iāve decided I might take a break from these forums. After reading this article, Iāve learned that fear may be the real reason I am relapsing even after adapting the Easy Peasy Way. In fact, I think itās the reason most people here keep relapsing. This is the article I read: Why You're Relapsing: : pmohackbook
And here is another article that might help to understand the fear trap: For Those Still Slipping
That article has a few sections on fear.
Iām going to keep studying the Easy Peasy Way, and making sure Iām not missing anything. Iām going to reread it and get it clear in my head. I want to be free from this poison. Iām also going to try to become less addicted to social media and technology. Itās just another lifestyle change I want to work on.
The reason I made this post is so that maybe you all can learn from it as well. Iām still trying to learn, and I donāt really know everything. So if you guys have any insight, please let me know.
So I know Iām really the only one chatting here, but I didnāt feel like creating a whole separate discussion for this. Basically, I think I finally found the reason I keep relapsing even after killing the big monster. When I relapsed yesterday, it was because of the little monster. Not the big monster. My brain wanted a fix even though I already killed the brainwashing. This is the article: Resources | EasyPeasy
Iām going to try using the AVRT and see how it goes. For those of you who havenāt heard of it, I highly recommend trying it. It seems legit. Checking in after day 1 by the way! I might check in day 2 or I might wait a bit. It honestly doesnāt matter, because Iām sure Iām free. I will make it to day 90 and beyond, and you guys will too!
My streak 40
johnofear
Code 25op12