Kaito_Kid's Diary- Goals, Thoughts and Promises

#1

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Hello FRIENDS. Im Kaito Kid .( 17 M , Indian) Here on NOFAP JOURNEY. Here in this diary , I will share my thoughts, goals , motivational contents and targets and promises , and how i rewarded myself upon completing the targets

My Quotes -

I had my eyes opened. I came to realize that I had more to offer this world ( As a scientist and inventor ) than just doing things that wet my pants up.

I take NOFAP, not as an Obligation but as an Opportunity to EXCEL in LIFE -< Kaito_Kid1412 >

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#2

I want to be a GREAT SCIENTIST AND INVENTOR Im passionate about technology .

My Favourite HERO

My Favourite Scientist and Inventor

I promise myself , one day definitely I will become as great as they are, Even if it means Leaving my USELESS ADDICTION .

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#3

My target 1

GOAL Complete 10 days NOFAP
REWARD Avengers Endgame movie and ice-cream
PUNISHMENT 30K.M. Cycling in 2 hours

STATUS Ongoing

REMARKS DO OR DIE

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#4

In my view, when in real life… this situation will come… Then only this habit can be left.

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#5

Important Reminder for Myself

Your worth is not measured in likes, comments, notes or followers; but in your ability to love, keep comments to yourself, take note and lead. - Quora

Likes, Loves, Up-votes, and @ ,you get, NEVER decides your worth. Your worth is decided by how much you Love ,Care and Respect yourself and your dear ones.

Above was posted -To stop my addiction of frequently and uselessly opening the Forum due to insatiable thirst for likes and comments.

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#6

Feelings After Relapse, Just to remind me at the right time

  1. Lower self-esteem as I couldnt meet my expectations
  2. Loss of energy and enthusiasm
  3. Extreme Fatigue
  4. Loss of Interest in Studies
  5. Extreme Pain in Back
  6. Extreme intolerable burning sensations in private parts leading to sleepless night
  7. Extremely blurry vision
  8. Pain in testicles and pe^is
  9. Poor Concentration
  10. Restlessness and frustrations
  11. Decrease in Confidence
  12. Sleep less Nights
  13. Wastage of TIME and MONEY
  14. Loss of excitement
  15. Loss of true pleasure in Life
  16. Disrespect to my health , life and goals
  17. Se^ual fantasies pestering mind
  18. Wet pants, clothes and super Bad smell
  19. Infection near pe^is
  20. Loss of lots of vitamins , minerals and Significant loss in Zinc and Cadmium.( acquired after healthy diets of food for week)
  21. Head ache intolerable

Last Relapse Reason
Hands shaking by themselves. Extreme stomach pain for dose of dopamine. A little extent of fantasies. Mind in confusion as 5 days elapsed. Mind pestering me with pleasurable flashbacks

What could have been done

STOP THINKING
Thinking leads to confusion. And when mind is confused, it takes , easiest path. Stop thinking. Distract your mind. Do what you are doing.

Conclusion

Stop thinking. Dont think that you are NOFAP forever. Thinking this will lead to Super Urges. Just Focus on Work and Stay busy

" Masturbation is like Procrastination. Initially seems Wonderful but later it appears that you fu^ked up yourself" - quote

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#7

If i give you my reasons… you would get a panic attack.
Save yourself kid.

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#8

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I had my eyes opened. I came to realize that I had more to offer this world than just making things that blow up. -< Tony Stark >

I had my eyes opened. I came to realize that I have more to offer this world ( As a scientist ) than just doing things that wet my pants up. -< Kaito_Kid1412 >

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#9

Flatline

Its Day 2. Today , Im feeling extremely disinterested in whatever Im doing. I have lost the zeal , energy and enthusiasm. Everything is too boring to tolerate. Head aches are ruining me. Moreover , I cant focus on my studies !

A New Habit

Since last week , I had developed a habit of enjoying the beauty of nature to forget my painful past as fast as possible

Everyday , I admire the greenery of trees as I watch them from my balcony.
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<Not my balcony, but similar to this>

Everyday I watch the Moon , and its shine , before going to bed.
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How it felt before relapse? On Day 5

Before my previous relapse, It used to be difficult for me to turn away my eyes from the nature’s extreme beauty . I used to be spellbound to the Beautiful Shine Of Moon. I loved it , spending time in the lap of nature.

" A thing of Beauty is A Joy Forever. "- Keats

Feelings After Relapse ( Day 2)

Now It feels like Nature has lost its beauty

It has lost its ability to hold me. But thats Not Truth. Most appropriately, it appears that I have lost the ability to hold ON the beauty of Nature

Last Night, it was FULL MOON
full-moon-through-trees-henry-porter

The Moon shines
It still seems pretty,
But , its Not beautiful.
The nature is still the same,
Lush and green,
But Not beautiful.
Everything is Same
I have Only changed

Its for the first time in my life , I realised how things changed drastically after relapse.
NEVER expected a Relapse will COST me so much.
A bit of cheap pleasure at the cost of Infinite true pleasure of Nature.

For the first time in my life , I realised the difference between PRETTY and BEAUTIFUL . My last relapse and new habit has given me a new insight.

Masturbation is all about external happiness. It is LUST not LOVE , EXTERNAL not INTERNAL, FAKE not REAL.

As John Keats said" A thing of Beauty is A Joy Forever " There is No Forever Joy in Masturbation, means that Thing of Beauty is Not Real

All What I can Do NOW is to Wait and patiently give the time required for reboot

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So Its just gonna take time !!!