Almost relapsed today. I just feel ugly when I look on my face. I feel worthless, and that undercut my will to stay clean. Because why I am even doing this in my situation? I don’t think that I would be atractive to anyone…
I don’t know, surely there are reasons why I let worse feelings come to me today, but right now I don’t want to think about.
I looked for porn. I mean I opened Instagram, and it already is softporn itself. Fucking shit.
Then I wanted to relapse but I put phone away, and after some time I think that depression won, and I just stopped. I feel, empty.
Small steps. Know that what you are feeling affects everyone. So hang in there. Start focusing on improving your body. It will make you feel better and the results will make you proud. Just try.
This is quite a normal thing for any one of us. You only need to uninstall Instagram from you mobile. Actually uninstall every social media app. Depression is just a phase , stick to your resolve to stop masturbating. If you have just started your streak, then feel regretful, if you have been doing this for 20 days or more , don’t feel guilty, just keep at it. Eventually you’ll get out of it buddy.
Take care.