Almost relapsed today. I just feel ugly when I look on my face. I feel worthless, and that undercut my will to stay clean. Because why I am even doing this in my situation? I don’t think that I would be atractive to anyone…
I don’t know, surely there are reasons why I let worse feelings come to me today, but right now I don’t want to think about.
I looked for porn. I mean I opened Instagram, and it already is softporn itself. Fucking shit.
Then I wanted to relapse but I put phone away, and after some time I think that depression won, and I just stopped. I feel, empty.