Some background. I was in a great relationship 10 years ago but she left me suddenly for another man. I was so hurt that I withdrew into myself and into internet porn. For the next 9 years my sex life was only porn and masturbation. Toward the end it was just porn and I didn’t even masturbate anymore. A year ago I said this has to stop, I need a real life. So I stopped watching porn cold turkey. It has been a year now and I have not relapsed once. I also have not masturbated or had sex in that time. A couple of months ago I met a great lady. We dated and finally got to the point where we were ready to go all the way. To my surprise noting happened. No erection, she was cool and we had a wonderful time just cuddling. Then it happed again and again and I feel her losing interest in having an intimate relationship with me because of it. So is there something more I need to do beyond the no masturbation, no internet to recover from the many years of porn only sex? I want to get back to how I was before I dove into the world of porn but to my surprise after a whole year of being clear nothing has recovered! All suggestions and comments welcome. Thanks, Jeremy
@Jeremy1900 Welcome to the Rewire Companion forum!
Well, it looks like you have a case of Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction, or PIED. While I don’t have any experience in that area, I do know that PIED can be cured simply by abstaining from porn (and masturbation while you’re at it, preferably).
This would be a good thread to check out too.
There’s no secret method. Abstain from porn, and you’ll be able to get back to life.
Also you can talk to @Tagore . He suffers from the same problem if I’m not wrong. You’ve been abstaining for over a year man! That’s a great thing! Keep going and you’ll definitely overcome your problems! Come on! Fight!
Welcome to the forum.
That’s right, @Ash_Matt is right. But if I may add, I think you should search for medical help. While you are abstaining from porn to cure your PIED, it’s good to make use of some medicines and treatment for this issue.
Don’t be afraid to go to the doctor, it’s not abnormal. We are here for you, to help you stay strong and healthy.
Bro @Jeremy1900 maybe you are struggling with performance anxiety??
Usually PIED will go away after we abstain from pmo for a certain amount of time. Usually in 1 year and all you should’ve become ok if you were cold turkey.
Do you workout a lot? Working out helps in curing these problems.
Maybe you are suffering from performance anxiety?
You said, after getting out of your first relationship you spent 8
9 years doing pmo. That may has resulted in it.
Or the best decision maybe as @romaog said you can meet a doctor. Don’t take medication and all. It would of great help to understand what’s happening.
Thank you brother @GOVIND-19 for tagging me. I’ll marry only after maybe 10 years; so Iam sure I’ll be able to cure everything by that time
Hi All, Thanks for the response. I have been to an MD and gotten completely checked out. They could find no physical problems that would cause my problem. The MD’s suggestion was to just keep going and it would work itself out. However that was 4 months ago and still no change. From what I have read on all these different sites it seems I should be back to normal by now. Just stumped as to what to do now. I continue to do no porn and no masturbation but that isn’t difficult it seems my body isn’t interested in any of that. I will soldier on… Thanks again for you help and comments. Jeremy
One year of abstinence seems more than enough to recover from the effects of PMO. Even if each situation is special.
I think you have to work on your connection body-mind. Relearn your mind to anchor itself in the present moment and be in the presence of the sensations of the body. I also think that you have to relearn to welcome the desire of the lower abdomen and to make it rise slowly, minute after minute, without rush.
Maybe, for you, it’s not about NO PMO anymore, but rather about consciousness very slow masturbation without fantasy and without ejaculation.
Life is about balance.
Thanks for the insight. I think you must be correct and it seems to line up with what the Therapist is saying. He believes the biggest tell is that for the last 4 or 5 years that I watched Porn I didn’t masturbate to it or even get an erection from it. I just got off, he says, on the endorphin release that watch gave me. Therefor, in my mind I have made sex mental and not physical. The difficult part is that he says I need to work with a partner to slowly return sex to my body and out of just my mind. I don’t have a partner anymore, the lady I was seeing has left really because of the no sex issue we had. She said she didn’t have room in her life to fix a sexualy broken man. I like your idea about slow manipulation of my penis to reawaken the feeling of arousal back to my lower body and penis. Thanks again for your help, it means a lot to have someone who understand write back. Jeremy
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