What a blissful day it had been



I feel like I wanna cry
I feel like dying
I actually went for sleep and woke up to a recurring issue
I haven’t said about this before.
The issue is a huge age gap and huge misunderstandings between me and parents.
They are going through severe physical health and mental health issues due to my sister
And they vent out the anger to me
Use very shocking and hurting words against me
If I say even one word against them, they are crying throughout night
Feeling so guilty
Its happening for a long time
Want to die out of guilt and shame
Can’t take this guilt any longer
Can’t live with guilt
Stuck so much in life
Without an inch of progress
Feeling shameful first hand
Urge to kill myself and die peacefully before my parents die
Thanks to everyone
PS - Although I can’t die as I don’t have even 1 % courage to kill myself
This issue keeps recurring between me and my parents
There are several days before I haven’t slept and kept crying throughout all night
Can’t take it any longer
Probably I shouldn’t have been born
Or should have born as a single child
I feel all the pressure put on me because of my parents age and my sister’s life failures
Can’t live like this
Been subjected to this for years now
Kaisa Bhanwar Adhikaar Ka
Sankalp Hain Sanmaan Ka
Safal Hota Ab Lage
Sangharsh Jab Jitna Kathin Ho
Banta Wahin Aadhaar Ab
Yahi Hain Mera Strii Dharm
Rahega Atal Mera Mann Yagyaseni Ka Yeh Vachan
Rahega Atal Mera Mann Iss Janm Ka Ye Kaaran Sindoori Sandhya Paar Hain
Ye Dharm Yudha Vishaal Hain
Shristi Ke Uss Itihaas Mein
Rahega Atal Mera Mann
Yagyaseni Ka Yeh Vachan
Rahega Atal Mera Mann
Iss Janm Ka Ye Kaaran
Rahega Atal Mera Mann
Yagyaseni Ka Yeh Vachan
Rahega Atal Mera Mann
Iss Janm Ka Ye Kaaran
Rahega Atal Mera Mann
Yagyaseni Ka Yeh Vachan
Rahega Atal Mera Mann
Iss Janm Ka Ye Kaaran
Rahega Atal Mera Mann…
English Meaning: Like a vortex of darkness, it is the oath of my honour. I seemed to be on the threshold of happiness. The harder the challenge, the stronger I must be. This is my dharma as a woman, I must always be strong, this is a promise I must keep. I must always be strong, that’s why I was born. The evening sky has an orange hue and wearing sindoor* /red cosmetic powder/ This dharma is in the whole history of the universe. I must always be strong, this is a promise I must keep. I must always be strong, that’s why I was born. I must always be strong, this is a promise I must keep. I must always be strong, that’s why I was born. I must always be strong, this is a promise I must keep. I must always be strong, that’s why I was born. I must always be strong
NO I DID NOT RELAPSE
The app had lot of bugs and glitches
So uninstalled it and reinstalled again
Didn’t know the timer will start from the first if uninstalled once
Never mind
Will start from the first stronger and better
Ik how it feels , if it hurts try to confront your issue , and if it continues ignore them when they say hurtful words to you , you can say “Shree Krishna” whenever this happens this will help you to ignore them and also remind you these words doesn’t mean anything, they are angry and focus on your work , you are far better than this . You are a Great soul !
Set the last relapse date after clicking on the thumbs down button .
Thank you sholt
Fortunately set it and its now showing me the end of 10 days soon
Thank you for these kind words
It means a lot
Thank you
Actually these are not kind words these are the true words
Going to listen to Adhitya Hridaya Stotram everyday
Life was fantastic when I listened to it everyday
Now going to start again