Journey Of a Krishna Bhakta [21M] 🕉

[The_EnlightenedOne]

While attending offline Classes, used to feel severe social anxiety and discomfort
This has always happened with me
Before, I used to intiate conversation with random people to make new connections.
I was worried about other people’s Judgements and opinions and tried to appease people around me to build friendship
I would constantly think about other people’s perceptions about me
Not anymore
A major Transformation occurred with me this year
I have come to terms with the fact that I am just not made for this
I have accepted the fact that I am designed in a way to live without friends/companions
I have accepted that in this birth of mine, I would never have a good sustainable mutual friendship
I have accepted myself
Now
I don’t have to initiate conversations voluntarily with others
I don’t have to worry about other people’s perceptions on me
I don’t care a damn about others
I am feeling relaxed and comforted in being DETACHED
Being all alone makes me peaceful
I am living by myself
I have got the rare wisdom ( many people may not accept the truth) that friendship, Love, girl friends, companionship or any kind of Attachment with others is Fake, Unsustainable, Unpredictable, Doesn’t serve one’s long term goals
Now thank god
I am DETACHED

Its not just about people
I am also detached from all events happening in the world which are unrelated, unnecessary and unwanted in terms of my life and interest
I am also detached from Identities
I don’t have an identify except for being a human being
I would not even care about the Identy of someone else
I am also detached from all external worldly things which don’t affect me

[The_EnlightenedOne]

Having a "No friend " vow may sound absurd
But human beings form their opinions based on their experiences
And experience differ from person to person
Only if one lives through another person ’ experience, the former can truly understand the validity and truth of the perception and opinions formed by the latter
Its called the principle of Subrogation
In other words, Stepping into the shoes of others
Only if u step into the shoes of others, you can truly understand the reasons for the perception of the person
So there is a reason for every human Judgements and opinions
Many times, humans hold prejudices against other groups
On the face of it, it may be unreasonable to hold prejudices against others
But only if u step into their shoes, u can understand why do they hold prejudices against others
Its true for everyone
In a similar vien, only if someone lives through mg experiences, one can understand why do I have a "No friends " as a vow
Its natural for human beings to form perceptions based on their experience and that’s completely okay

[The_EnlightenedOne]

I wish to walk the path of life alone
I wish to follow no one except myself
I wish to pursue choices independent of other’s expectations
I wish to be different from others
I wish to lead a very unique life
I wish to not care about Societal Judgements and stereotypes
I wish to independent of everything that’s holding me back

I wish to be detached
I wish to be self reliant

I am myself and mine alone

[The_EnlightenedOne]

I don’t think things are going in the right direction in my life
Nevertheless I need to take control of it now
I am flying like a flag in whichever direction the wind is blowing without any clarity
Need to thiink properly
And work in the right direction
Or else it will become too late
To take any action
Lots of unexplained doubts
Unexplained fears
Inside me
Taunting me time and again
Need solace somewhere
Detached from everything
Need some grace
To remove the fog inside my brain
Make me think clearly
Of the pros and consequences
Of anything
I need to be matured
Act responsibly
Not not wander mindlessly
In the direction of the wind

[The_EnlightenedOne]

[mrxdul]

@The_EnlightenedOne

Unexplained fears

we can drive these fears away…

@The_EnlightenedOne hows life bro !

[The_EnlightenedOne]

As a kid and throughout my teen age,
I was brimming with patriotism for my country being so proud of India and Indians
Till Recently, I have come to realize how much of a sick country India really is.
If one looks outside the hype, extravaganza and the artificial fake praising, and Look at the reality written on the Wall,
One can clearly see India is truly a sick country with sick minded People
Selfishness runs through the DNA of Indians
We all want our family, our loved ones to prosper at the cost of others and we become jealous of other’s success
We don’t have civic sense
We keep our homes top notch clean but litter public places to the core because we are corrupt
We are built on misogynistic stereotypes mindset
We are corrupt
We are useless
We are a blot in the World
We have successfully destroyed all the beautiful landscapes, rivers, wildlife etc
No amount of education can change an Indian’s backward mindset because indoctrination happens since childhood
We vote on the basis of religion, caste and all useless issues
We forget the real issues like Education, Healthcare, Unemployment, Inflation, Cleanliness, Clean Water to drink, Clean Air to breathe
So much of artificial praising of Indian culture
The reality is opposite
Its funny when Indians complain of racism in foreign countries when they are racist and facist within their own population
We are divided
We claim superiority over others
We are ruled by illiterate and corrupt politicians
We pay huge taxes without any return
Our life is uncertain in India
We don’t know which Airport will collapse under our head, which cable stayed bridge will collapse, which train will derail, which hospital will catch fire and kill babies, which unsafe hoardings will fall under our head , we don’t know which paper will leak and destroy all our dreams
Life is unsafe in India
And No India was not destroyed by Britishers or anyone
India was killed by none other than Indians alone
Nepotism and dynasty runs everywhere in Politics, Cinema , Sports etc
Police brutality towards common citizens and Broken Justice System are few other great achievements in India to name a few

To all the Indians
Keep paying high taxes
Keep paying high amount to private schools
Keep breathing toxic air
Keep eating toxic foods with useless FSSAI
Keep drinking poor water
Keep forcing middle class children to slog in Coaching academies day and night
Keep working tirelessly in Corporates ignoring work life balance
Keep paying expensive amounts to private hospitals
Keep littering your environment and river bodies
Keep fighting with fellow Indians on Religion, Caste, Language grounds
Keep suffering

DON’T FORGET TO VOTE FOR STUPID , INCOMPETENT, ILLITERATE, CORRUPT POLITICIANS DUE TO IDENTITY BIAS

Mera Bharat Mahaan
Jai Hind

Nothing will change in this country
Earlier I was so optimistic about India thinking somehow despite all its shortcomings India will Change for the better
But no
I have become pessimistic
I have lost all hope on India
Given a chance,.I would leave this stupid country

[WarriorBhism]

Hi, @The_EnlightenedOne

I am also struggling like you.I am so sorry about what you are going through.Life is not fair my friend.Only solution is that we have to make a bridge to cross the river of suffering.We must use same stones which are thrown to us to make that bridge.Like Sri Ram made a bridge.

I read this thread and I find you a hardworking man , like you studies for hours, preparing for CA exams etc.Also, you are tackling family problems.Trying to do nofap living in between the sick society, society whose only goal is to consume ,consume, consume.You are fighting many battles at once. I am really really inspired from you. Like I used to think only my life is hard but I was wrong.

If you are going through hell, keep going.This quote fits on you and somehow me too.

For last few months or since September, I progressed on some level.Best thing happened to me is that I quit youtube on 2nd september.Used to scroll YT from morning until I sleep.I destroyed my eyes due to screen addiction.Now, I only use for necessary how to videos and in browser.Quitting youtube helped me to reduce my negativity like I used to watch political videos so much.Also, I stopped getting news from any other source.Now, I live in my small world.Yes I feel lonely because I longer escape from my reality.I face my reality and live in a real world not in pixel world watching people shiting from their mouth on YouTube.

I no longer recharge my jio with 5G, I am 249/1GB plan since 2 months.

Relapsed many times in between but without ■■■■.

I am on Day 35 on 29 NOVEMBER 2024.

I worked hard for a job exam since February and cleared the exam.

I am at best physique of myself but still I am not that muscular.

My highest streaks : two 6 months plus streaks(around 190 days) , both before covid.After that I never reached 90 days.Recently I relapsed after 73 days.

I can say that only Nofap/Brahmacharya saved my life.I realized my potential only after not wasting my life force.

But I will say that I learnt about life also when I was in my lowest of life. I was severely addicted to PMO but same thing made me realize what I can achieve if I remove this burden and many other phycological burdens from my back.

I wish you achieve whatever you aspire to my friend.

I think I am elder than you and have few years more experience of life than you.Thats why I want to advice you that never share your sorrows with anyone as it reduces our motivation.Never seek sympathy from others.It may make you feel light for sometime but you won’t be able to use it as fuel.Also,start counting your blessings too.As always living in stressful mindset will cause you to burnout.
PS : If I don’t understand you correctly then I kindly apologize for this.

[The_EnlightenedOne]

Thank you for the advice
It helped me to heal
I am coping with hardships
I come here to RC to reveal the difficulties and feel relieved
Reading youtube, yes I agree with you

@WarriorBhism

never share your sorrows with anyone as it reduces our motivation.Never seek sympathy from others

True

[The_EnlightenedOne]

Every time I open the newspaper in the morning after waking up to read something productive and constructive, I end up being totally disappointed and frustrated by the same old hindu - muslim rhetoric, violence, riots, caste based Discrimination and what not
Its better to uninformed than to be informed about useless things like these which serve no purpose to the nation or its citizens

[The_EnlightenedOne]

If given financial support, I will leave too

[The_EnlightenedOne]

Life to an extent is going good these days
I am happy that I am ending 2024 with somewhat
In a better way
Touch wood
But still a long way to go
Got lot of companions to study together discuss and correct
Not even thinking about relapse even once in day
Just too busy
Hopefully I will succeed sooner and become happy

[The_EnlightenedOne]

One of my distant relative who is citizen of a foreign country has told me that he is willing to help me get admission in a esteemed university in that country for a masters degree in finance
I am delighted for the opportunity
After clearing the exam I am currently preparing soon in next 6 months, I will pursue a masters in a foreign country and appear for Final exams Overseas
CA exams happen Overseas too
I am counting my days in India
Wish to leave this country soon
And settle abroad permanently
I don’t want to settle in the West because I don’t like the Western Culture especially wokeism
I wish to settle towards the East in An Asian Country
Maybe Japan or South Korea or Vietnam or Thailand
I will be happy to live in a country that values human life unlike the present one

[The_EnlightenedOne]

Among girls, I am into Asian kinds.
So yeah
I have attraction towards asian girls
Lol