JonSnow's blog - Turn the page

I only used this app as a counter of the days I am without PMO initially. I started using forums after my 80th day or something… Which is why I didnt start sharing my progress from day 1. Once I used these forums, I liked how people are helping each other. As my real journey begins now, I want to share my experiences, so that others can see whats after 90. I hope it can motivate others who are struggling to cross that 90 day mark.

Do check this out…

Also this…

And a little about me…

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92 days

Well, I have been missing my ex lately, with whom I brokeup a month ago. Missing the sex, the real one and not masturbation and definitely not porn… And I am not going to get that real sex until I get settled in life and married, lol… No way I am going to hookup even if I get the girl and no way I am going to try to be with a girl even, casual or otherwise… Getting stronger and stronger physically and emotionally… Urges are very little, happens once a day, easy to shrug off because I got experience in dealing with them but at the same time I know I shouldn’t underestimate these urges because there is always a chance of relapse and I am damn scared of relapse, undoing all the work I did… I am loosing the anger I had few weeks ago, probably it was a phase of quitting that I had to go through… Sleepy a lot, dont know why it is like that, probably because of all the free time. I am after finding a new hobby because apart from studies, helping my parents and work out, I am not doing much… Have to increase the intensity of workout, been a little lazy on that front, I believe I am not challenging myself enough there… Tv series and movies got a bit boring, I am starting to believe that its waste of my time…

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94 days…
My second best streak was 15 days… Blue balls stopped me before but when I realized that they are not bothering me, I grabbed the chance and kept going…and I am gonna keep going guys. Relapse is never an option.

Usually when I find myself horny, I immediately do M, or if it has to be special, I watch P while I do that… All of that happened before 95 days back, happened for like 9 years… My views before was… If I get an actual woman good, if not, its still okay because I have self pleasure… But, today I was horny, all I could think was to do it with an actual woman, P and M were not at all an option…

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96 days…

Strong urges were there today, twice… My brain has convinced me that the problem was gone and I successfully overcame addiction and now I can masturbate normally. Felt like that for few seconds until I told my head. Nice try, but no…then I quickly realized, life’s not all about masturbation or the girls, its about being successful, making our mark… True, we all need love and it will come when it comes… But why do we chase all the time? If we cant see things beyond masturbation, girls and fun, what will we achieve?

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99days…

Urges are a lot higher today

I am too lazy about using my time productively. I am sleepy most of the time and binge watching other times. Workout is there but I am doing it once in 2 days, have to make it a daily thing or twice a day thing… Have to focus on the studies too as my exam is on December 29.

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101 days…

I am determined to reach 100 more days :muscle:

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DAY 102

Urges has hit me today. But proud to say that I resisted them. Once, this feeling that I suppressed tried to take over me that it’s okay forget the streak, just do it once… I blocked it somehow immediately. I am having some mood swings these days, not too much but is it me or something to do with Nofap? A little anxious too but nothing I cant handle… My breakup recently might be the cause too, I still miss her sometimes. But no matter what, not fapping, and will wait till all gets sorted… Time and patience.

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Day 107

There’s no “missing” feeling regarding P. Regarding M, yes a little but my well being is more important than doing it.

It doesn’t feel like an urge anymore. It feels natural, like a question in my head, do you want to fap? I gather the strength to say no and thats it.

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Day 109

Still working on completely moving on from my ex.

Although, I get a feeling to chase women and at times I get close to messaging someone I know. But If that happens, I know that it would ruin my streak and I also know that it is better for me to stay single and work on myself. So, currently resisting.

Regarding PMO, yes still I get urges. But, not as severe as its used to be. Sometimes, it feels like a choice to me instead of a need.

Still determined to cross 200 :muscle:

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That’s impressive, and exactly what I want for all of the time!

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You can get there bro… You just have to keep going with this No PMO…

Also its not as direct as I said, I do have some ups and downs regarding the intensity of urges. But the fact that sometimes it doesn’t feel like a need makes me feel like I am going somewhere. That I am improving and getting closer.

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Day 111.

No urges today.

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Day 113

Had a dream last night. Something related to the kind of porn I used to watch. So some weird porn is playing in my head, I know its not right, so I am fighting not to imagine that. It works for a bit but again my subconscious takes over and it tells me, look how fun it is to watch and masturbate, to imagine… I liked it obviously and I wanted it to keep going but at the same time, I know its not right, so I again try to stop it…

I woke up, and my head was telling me, see? Its soo much fun, masturbate while watching porn, just once more… But, managed to say no…

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Day 118.

Dreams were becoming more these days. A couple of days back, I got a dream that I masturbated. It felt so real and I was so upset… Luckily its just a dream. Then I got another dream about me trying someone. Some dreams were weird too, but all that only means I am breaking free of the addiction. Brain also creates issues when we are closer to being free, a last attempt to try and pull us back.

Day 118

Sorry guys, I decided to stay away from this community. I may return in future, but not sure about it. I did give a lot of suggestions on many of my posts, almost all that I could offer… Feel free to quote them, copy them, repost them, or check them out if you are struggling. All of them came from my experience. I wanted to focus more on my studies and my future. A lot of time is being spent on this app, which is why I am going.

My personal life is becoming better and better… I am focused on my future more than ever. I am not going to relapse, it doesn’t matter how worse the urges are, I am habituated to saying no. I am determined to keep going, no matter what. I started studying more, working out even more and I want to do those even more in future, challenging myself. Also, I am working on myself to be even better.

when we loose all the extras, We will have a lot of time for the good things about us, and overtime we get better at them and then we have time to do even more… Thats what I am beginning to understand after quitting pmo, brokeup from a toxic relationship, stopped talking with unnecessary women…

So everything’s good with me, and I am happy for it. And I am gonna keep trying to better and better, improve myself even more…

Lastly, thank you to everyone that I had the pleasure to exchange comments/replies/likes…

Keep going guys, just break the cycle of relapsing… Peace out✌️.

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Inspired by all of this keep looking in on us time to time keep sharing ur progress if possible
Keep it up buddy.

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Day 131

So, all the positives of No PMO, I can put it as one thing, its being the best version of yourself, there’s no doubt. It may not be curing you from stuff, but it will definitely give you the confidence to manage things on your own. It will give you more time to do more things, more time to think about yourself and how you can be better. It just gives you that focus to do things differently, that vision to look at the bigger picture. I think, everything I have mentioned also depends on you. The more issues you have, more difference you could see in yourself. If you perfect in every other part of your life, atleast you got out of a bad habit, right? And the benefits are not really for the show, but its mostly how you feel. It takes away the mental weight that you have been putting on yourself that we are helpless to stop this PMO, that we are addicts. Less weight, more vision, right?

But what it doesn’t do is, freeing you from PMO permanently. Because everytime you are in the mood, you will definitely think about fapping, especially when there is no partner around you. Thats just how we are. Just like we look at a sweet and we immediately want to eat it. But then we tell to ourselves, come on, you will put on weight, avoid it. Similarly, I tell myself, again you will go back to being how you used to be, which means that weight on myself mentally starts again, which means less vision, and all that is not fun. Because lust drives that side of me, and now, I drive myself. Amd why would I want to give the power to an addiction? So I say no thanks. Because I would prefer to be free than being in handcuffs. So quitting PMO for 100 or 200 days doesn’t mean you are not going to think of PMO ever again, but those 200 days will show you enough benefits to keep going in this path. As a result, it gets easier to say no. The longer you stay, easier it gets.

To be honest, I am scared of relapse. And everyone has to be. Because a relapse will take you through a chain of events, reminding you how fun everything is used to be. The weight increases over time, and lust drives us again… Ultimately, no gain earned. Its really hard to go through all those urges we have been through again.

So. Any one under 100 days, this is my message to you.

Things are getting hard? You want to relapse? Then think about last 3 days or week or month of all that you have experienced. Its hard, isn’t it? So you relapse now, but you will be quitting again, I am damn sure of that. Because when that mental weight returns, you will most definitely restart this no PMO. Then, you will have to go through that 3 days or a month again, for the second time. Do you really want to relapse? Or do you want to hold on for a bit more, may be 3 more days or a week more or a month more until you cross this stage? The benefits are waiting, the urges are going to get easier, then its a lifestyle.

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Thank you for this. You rule this year!

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136 days

I have been studying well, writing first phases of Govt exams well, for jobs. Although lots of study and hard work is needed in the future, I know I am up to it. I see improvements exam by exam.

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Day 140. 4 and half months :heart_eyes:… Honestly, it feels like a month, doesn’t feel like 4 and half at all.

In these 4 and half months, I experienced so many changes in me. I am at peace with myself now but with porn and masturbation, I was definitely someone thats driven by lust. Even thinking about myself while I used to do PMO, feels like thats not me (As Arya in GOT says).

I made bold decisions in my life ( I broke up),
I made right choices for myself (let go of wrong ones from my life) ,
I started taking care of myself physically (workouts),
I stopped feeling guilty (Due to PMO),
Got back the confidence I lost and kept focus on the one that matters (Studies),
I started believing in God even more ( lost faith at a point previously)
I started fixing things that bother me (positive self talk when negative thoughts come, learnt from YouTube though)
Learned to deal with my anxiety even better, It doesn’t bother me anymore. if you guys didn’t know, I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder. I mean I am over it before I started nofap but then I got even more better (its a whole different topic I would like to share for anyone thats suffering from anxiety in a another post someday, let me know if anyone is)
Learned about boundaries in a relationship (after the breakup)
Started to put myself first and love myself (definitely not before parents though, their place is reserved)
That fire in me has started to have a brighter future (didn’t have it previously, it was whatever happens)
Started being more happy ( with anxiety and guilt its so hard to be happy, I am free of it, plus there is god in my life, so ofcourse I would be)
Got rid of brainfog ( its the worst, cant think or figure out anything, everything is so confusing before, now clear headed)
I am transparent now, no skeletons in my closet ( it’s the best feeling, dont need to have two faces, or behave differently when alone)
Started finding myself ( After 9 years of PMO, After heavy smoking of cigs and another addiction, after battling with quitting them and then successfully quitting them and then 6 years anxiety that followed afterwards, I was lost, and at rock bottom for the longest time, just now seeing the light as I am free from all of it)

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