I've never seen something stronger than porn addiction

Hello. I am 19 years old student. I’m junior at the Yerevan State University. It’s 6 years I’m deeply addicted to porn. I’ve never had a girlfriend, never had a sex, never kissed a girl… 11 stupid years at school had passed, when I started university. People say enjoy your university days. Well my university started with a tutor who sat out the prison for rape article… I’ve seen no good tutors and professors still. 2,5 years of university, and I don’t remember a good day. Actually there were no good days. And I don’t think I will, because they want to suspend me for my grades and my absences. I have nothing good to remember in the future. I think this is my last letter, because I’m gonna die very soon. I don’t want all these…

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Hey man, you are 19 yo, I’m 30 and I didn’t had a girlfriend for 10 years. I was lowest of the lowest, with my soul and mind shuttered. But I don’t allow this to beat me. I know porn is champion of the world at destroying lifes and we are underdogs, and we hungry for our freedom and happiness, we can beat this man, don’t give up yourself. Please

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I’m tired of fighting

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At 19, I bear this plague for 15 years I’m only on 20 days streak, but I feel like I’m back to life, don’t let that break your will, because that’s porn owners plan actually.

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Levonad, I understand what you mean when you say that you are tired of fighting. This addiction is tough. School isn’t easy either. I’m sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time. I want you to know that I believe that you are a valuable person. We are here to support you and help you.

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Brother I can feel your pain… I also tried to end my life multiple of times, when I was 17 and also few months back… I was hopeless… I did not see any good in anything, always angry, not enjoying company of everyone… Tomorrow seemed dark, I did not know what to do… I went out to find that I was alone… The fault was not in me… But in this addiction… Porn addiction makes your soul empty… You are trapped in a loop… I was sick and tired of this addiction and tried to quit it thousands of time but everytime I tried and failed and it made me weak… I can go on on saying about that…
But brother @Levonad you are not alone this is a great community… You can see bright things only if you try to get out of this porn shit… You are only 19 and you know how bad porn is for you… That’s really great brother… Most people don’t realize until years have passed by (happened with me)…
This time take charge… We are with you… You can see by the words of our brothers @Mazerunner and @keepFighting, you are not alone…try to break this addiction one step at a time… And I guarantee you by the end of 3 clean days you will see good in everything… And feel much stronger…
Don’t give up brother… Your bright future lies ahed just take charge and stop watching porn…

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@selfconqurer thank you for the words. I will try again.

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@Levonad hows the journey going??.. Remember one step at a time, one day at a time…

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Started reading some books. They help to stay busy and focus.

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Don’t compare yourself You have your own light. Your trip is different. Your stories and struggles are different. And one thing is certain: you will have your own time to flourish and will never be the same of the others. Enjoy your progress. You have only 19 years , perhaps you have 80 years ahead to live , Forget the past, the future is now ahead, change the thoughts and ideas that make you think that life is meaningless, because I tell you, Life has total meaning, and each one has a mission,and you have you own , don’t let the dark world of pornography triumph, destroy the pornography of your life and help others destroy of their lives , fight for Justice , for the greathen good , we need you

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Tell me more about those things

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Hey man. I am sorry that you are going through a bad time. I wish I could. Oh I can.

I have been through bad times myself. At one point I was severely depressed because I was bullied really badly even though with words. I was in school and since I looked different I was bullied. Every moment in class. In every class. And it was slowly eating me away. I started fapping as a medicatation to the mental wounds that developed. I was fucked up. I won’t go into the full story. But I was the most fucked up I can imagine.
I slowly started reading books and began taking personal responsibility.
I strongly believe in the power of personal responsibility. I realised that it is me who can bring myself back to life or kill myself. I chose life. I am glad I did. I am going through a hard time again here. But I have not developed the mental courage to deal with it.

Listen kid, I don’t know your struggle and I don’t want to know it either. It’s your battle. What I know is that its temporary. What I also know is that there are just two ways of dealing with it. As a victim and let it kill you. Or let the pain make you stronger. Think of how you can deal with it. Sit down and start with deciding just one thing you can change in your life from right now. Maybe it’s exercise. In fact start with exercise. Changing your physiology is the strongest way of bringing change. For God’s sake, stop fucking crying. We are here to guide you. But you need to learn from this man and be responsible for your life.
Trust me you will be proud of yourself after this.

This pain that you are going through is a gift. It’s n opportunity to grow. I am cheering for you. Die ! But not literally. Kill your old personality and transform yourself. Start reading a book !

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It’s 9 years for me and i am still here. Every day and any day without this addiction is blessing and i feel like i can do anything, why don’t you? believe me you need to have chaos within you to become a dancing star! We all have to. You lived this far and did a great work, how many people can say the same? your thoughts are too negetive and you need to shine some light upon them to really improve yourself to the core. Love yourself and live freely and the girl of your life will notice you. Do the work and finish your studies, be who you are: a free man. and all else will follow.

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Yes brother @Levonad Iam taking my caps before you, respect bro. You’ve gone through a lot of hard times and still you are fighting with hope. I really appreciate you for that. As @anon80614957 said not many people can do this.
Read, reread and again read what @TheFinalFrontier said bro.

What you have to do first is change your mindset bro, from negative to positive. Everyday write 5 things that you are grateful for in this world. Maybe your father, mother, brother. You are getting food everyday. You have a home. Think about the people sitting in the street, having nothing to eat, crying.
So you are blessed!
Second remember all these pain that you are going through can be used as the fuel for your growth. In my place there is an adage that goes: Something that came out of fire will not get tired in sunlight. Yes you are burning in fire and you are becoming stronger every single day.
Read positive books. Talk with your parents and get professional help if you want.
Start doing Meditation exercise etc.
Above all think about your purpose. If you don’t have one, find it.
You are here in this world for a purpose. To give something to this world.
We all are here to help you. Iam 100% sure you’ll become a positive, great man. This is the only life we’ve bro. Remember that.

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It may be temporary. I don’t know why I should believe it, but I do. The problem is, I don’t feel it’s worth it to wait. People say you are too young… you have a lot of time… I’m younger than a lot of people that’s a fact. But good people are those, who know and value their life and have their dreams when they are just started to talk. Like 3-5 years old. When I was 5 years old, I was doing nothing but eating and sleeping. And my dream was to have a girlfriend in the future, buy house, and whatever we want and do nothing else. And for then, just to watch cartoons, and play with my remote controlled cars. I was doing what I want and what was easy. I didn’t know what hardships can be there in the future, I didn’t want to think about them. I was strictly following my parents wishes, thinking I’m doing the best things I can. Why should I use my brain when there are parents that are the smartest people on the planet and they can control me because they love me.
People like me don’t live with their dreams, they live with hope that everything will be good later. It’s not false, everything gets better, but not because the life quality grows, but because our brain is slowly trying to adapt to the surroundings, not to emotionally kill itself.
People also say my thoughts are negative… My thoughts are connected to surrounding things. If they change, my thoughts change. When I went to Moscow this February for a week to see my aunts and uncle and grandma and brothers and sisters, I was 15 times happier. I didn’t think of PMO even for a second. They live. Because they are alive. My brother in Moscow is 22 years old. He has a beautiful wife and works everyday, writes songs, travel. Because so do his parents. They live.
My mom does nothing interesting in school, returns home, eats nothing, drinks 5 cups of coffee, makes food and watches TV. My dad works at the office. Smokes a cigarette every 5 minutes, drinks cognac or vodka and goes to sleep. My sibling bro does nothing. He wakes up at 2 p.m doesn’t eat his breakfast, eats only dinner, turns on his ancient soviet music, watches funny YT scenes and goes under his blanket to jerk all night long. He doesn’t care we have the same small bedroom for two and goes on with his fap-fap-fap noise.
Let me ask you to compare my 22 old bro’s life in Moscow and mine. Is that only my mindset or does the outside world has impact on it?
No I don’t say my family is bad. Because most of the families in our country are much-much worse. Not because they are not allowed to be better, but because they don’t want. No one respect this country, its constitution and rules. No one respect others here. Just search for the top country that has the highest percentage of new coronavirus cases. It’s Armenia. Not because we don’t have immunity, but because everyone is stingy and no one cares about country and people.
So people are different from nature and in terms of characteristic traits too. And a lot of people compare me and my dad. I don’t want to give these traits to anyone. I don’t want to have children.

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I’m on day 3 and I feel great! Like you said @selfconqurer , it’s all about your mindset. I truly believe that if you stop focusing on what happened in the past, you can start focusing on what your future holds!

So @Levonad , please try to adapt a positive mindset. Even if it seems like it’s not possible, but trust me, there are always a positive to any situation no matter how bad it is. Even if it seems insignificant. Change your mindset into a positive one, then all you will think about is positivity.

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@Adioz, you’ve been through a lot and I respect you man. Iam grateful to have a companion and friend like you. Even after going through all these ( what you told here and what you told me personally) you are still going strong, still with a positive mindset. Many people should learn from you my brother. life is tough but its only in the initial phase. The pain that you went through, your sufferings, the hours you cried, the people that betrayed you and didn’t helped you when they had chance should all act as fuel for your improvements bro. Think about the pain and convert all the energy to improving yourself and becoming successful. You are born because God said ‘yes’- let him live in this world. God consider you as his son bro. You had terrible sorruonding when you were young and that led you to create false beliefs about yourself and filled negativity within. At that time you had no other choice. You were so young to make decisions for yourself. Along with it porn also came and completely sabotaged your improvements. But now you are 100% in control bro. Slowly get back up and start working on your self. We are all here to help and support you in this journey. I believe you. God believes in you bro. You are his son. You too @Levonad, God want us to become our best selves. Take a strong decision and work hard. As some of our companion said: ‘No mud? Then there is no Lotus!’

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Yes no problem just watch this and add me
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Playlist link - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJQRek-yZgeN7J1nH7SL5Enanf1GnTMGV

I have watched all the videos and im on 299 days. Just watch this. These videos really boosted me to go on nofap for long time. Please dont flag this post only because im posting a link. It includes videos by POPULAR Youtubers. :pray:

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