I talk to myself a lot lately, is that weird? Or wrong? Well no girls in my life for now, its just my choice. Not many friends coz, most of mine are addicts, its better to be away than with them. Parents, study, workout and nothing else. So I go on to the terrace, imagine my future wife or something, and I try to find the right ways to have a conversation or what to ask, or think about what kind of person do I need? Who’s right or who’s wrong for me, how to approach the whole thing etc. So is that weird? Its like a personal time for me, or I think about jobs or interviews, potentially how they might go, or what kind of questions they might ask and I try to work on my approach. Or I kind of self talk why I broke up with my ex and why it’s a good thing. If in future, she messages me, I come up with right words to make sure she stays away. Also it feels like a way to find myself, find the way i used to think before all the shit storm. Or even, just imagine my life, how far I came, the right things I did so far, and how would it be few years down the line… Or sometimes, I think about different girls and their attitudes, I think about the words or conversations we might have and how I should sort out the right person to be with… . Or if something is bothering me, Or have a negative emotion, I try to ask my head, I call it buddy lol. Hey buddy whats wrong? You are a bit anxious. Chill out, its just a negative emotion, its not you, in a more loving way. Its all like a day dream but if I am doing it in my head, its hard to focus. So I talk out loud. Its kind of soothing too, like I am my own friend. So tell me guys, is it wrong? If so, I am pretty sure I can stop it.
This self talk includes appreciating myself sometimes, remembering how good I used to be, things I lost in my life at present and trying to bring back my best self whilst keeping the good that came with experience about life in general, thinking about the positives about what could be in future regarding all stuff, people or partner or kids, and how to manage them, how I should be happy while keeping them happy, how to set boundaries, so I imagine scenarios of conversations and I correct myself, also about the flaws of me that I wont let go, those which makes me, me. How to be open about them with my partner, what reactions I might expect, and how can I respond in a good way. Everything I said, its all like a conversation. Or it also feels like finding myself in someway. If its me, I am talking with myself. Like two people in the mirror. If its a partner, I Imagine someone sitting across me like in a date, then I start to do conversation. I repeat those scenarios frequently sometimes to find the right approach. Also I am happy in those, because I am imagining a happier future. Not that I am unhappy now, I am happy, but I am a work in progress at present, I know I am going to be even more happier in the days to come. If not, I am still gonna hope for even better tomorrow at that time, I am an optimist.
So anyway? Am I crazy? Before, I used to imagine sometimes but rarely, generally before sleep. But lately, As I dont have many people around, I am doing it often, whenever I am by myself, having nothing to do. I find this soothing. Weirdly, it also feels exciting because there are so many topics to think about. Tell me your honest opinion guys.