Is it logical/rational to promise?

Need Advice
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Being responsible and promising about something such as that which involves nofap seems to be a difficult task for me. Though I’ve lasted a week with the excitement given by phone games and even with the excitement given by just choosing the best phone game. I found “choosing between porn videos to find the best porn video so far” and “choosing between phone games to find the best phone game so far” to be giving an identical excitement. Which leads us to, “All I did, I think, to last a week was to play and choose games.” Does this mean that as long as the excitement comes from “choosing the best from a group”, you’re fapping? As we know, “choosing the best video” is not the one causing us to deteriorate physically, but just mentally through the destruction of our nervous system in our brain. The one causing us to physically deteriorate is releasing through musterbation. After releasing through musterbation, we’re ashamed for what we’ve done, but after “choosing the best porn”, we’re still excited. We need excitement to be motivated, to live happily, to be happy, to live the present, and to be excited.

Best, better, good. In porn, out of these three, the one we seek is “best”. The ‘best’ excitement inducer, the ‘best’ so far, etc. Though, with the feeling of contentment, we might choose “good”, and by the thought that, “maybe the second is better,” we might choose “better”. But, the question is, “Do we really need to know ‘better’ or ‘best’, if we already found ‘good’?” Though being contented with ‘good’ might not even lead us to porn, or we don’t need to choose because we’re not even using porn at the first place.

Back to the very main question. Is it logical to promise? Promising gives us excitement; knowing that we would be very satisfied if we fulfilled it. Even though, disappointment, grief, guilt and shame is felt after breaking a promise. The logic of nofap is “no pmo = growth + motivation to no pmo”. In words, stopping pmo give us growth and an additional motivation to stop doing pmo. Do we make a promise because we know that we can fulfill that promise, or just to say something to satisfy our anxiety and feel nice that we said something? If it is because to feel nice, we have entered hypocrisy; and if it is because we know we can fulfill it, we are still acting hypocritically. Nevertheless, we know that it’s not for fame that some of us promise almost hypocritically; but for them to gain a good amount support from the members of the group.

Support? Promise and Support?

Even with your own, you can promise to support yourself. Though, we know, “the more the merrier.” So is promising logical/rational? Logically/rationally speaking, no; it’s absurd. But if we consider it’s intention that it could be “to earn support”, we are able to say that it’s cute. Cute because even though, it’s a challenge to gain a support, we are still able to do it through promising… and it’s also a beautiful and elegant situation. Seeking for help is what we humans do when in need, like how kids seek for an answer. So, what this means is, it’s our nature to help each other and seek help when in need. That’s why, “Love your neighbours like how you love yourself.” For what is a human, if it is alone, living only for its own life? Is it exciting to live alone? Though if that human can masturbate and knows how to, for what reward is this human masturbating for? Masturbation’s rewards are temporary, and a reward brought by helping each other is eternal happiness. Therefore, seek help when in need, and give help to those in need. That’s like what the Bible says by the way. :zap::nerd_face::sweat_smile:

Lol…

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Yep. Looking for alternative dopamine sources in noPMO is a big let down. Shouldn’t be the case.

It’s hard man, but NoFap is not a streak, it’s a lifestyle. Of doing hard things.

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Yeah it should be; otherwise, you’ll be relapsing now and then.

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It is logical to make a promise.

If you look at a promise it is basically a verbal contract and since we were kids (5-6 yrs) here we do understand a little bit better whats going on in the world.

Here we learn the effects of promises. Dad/mom promise us to take us to the amusement park if we clean our room.

So after completing the chore we have said reward. It feels good and the brain learns a promise in a good way.

Now we go in to the psychology of the matter.

Since we store this “promise” as a good thing we tend to be more naïve to what ever people promise us. Since we learned that promises is a good thing at a young stage as it provides major benefits.

Thus the power of promises are big since we know that people tend to keep to them and as naïve we are we sometimes don’t doubt that a promise will go unpaid.

Yes later in life we learn that not all people are trustworthy and yes mistakes happen and promises go unpaid due to complicated things like a car accident for example.

But the promise open us to trust openly instead of judging also we a the people making the promise tend to gain more from a person you promised something.

Say like a money scam. This is the best form i can explain it. Obviously I gain a ton of money whilst just faking on how I can make you 1000s in a day. So I start out small and pay you out just so you can pay me more and then boom all of it gone. And I have your money.

Some promises are also used to change your outlook. For example a cop that promises you that he/she will find your kidnapped child.

You gain hope and also feel like you receive a ton of empathy and also know that your problem is taken care of and YOU gain importance in some sense.

Promises are a tool on our part to misdirect people. We gain infinite trust easily.

A promise is a powerful thing no matter how we learn it. Promised to get hurt, rewarded, saved etc. We kinda fear and love a promise depending on what is being promised like a knuckle sandwich we all don’t want that, but we know that the person will do what he said he would.

Good luck and stay strong and awesome!

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Promises are good @Cubenix but I tend to avoid them as-

  1. There are many corrupt people who misuse promises, as you said.
  2. I want to be a person of my word. I want people to think- “If he says he will do that, he will do that.” No offense to the people who do this, but a lot of people say ’ I promise I will leave the app/post a picture/ do something if I relapse’ and they relapse but do not do it. They say many great things but it’s on the spur of the moment. That’s why I’m careful before promising anything.

I think it’s good to follow Matthew 5:36-37
Do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. Simply let your ‘Yes’ be yes and your ‘No’, be no. Anything more than this is from the evil one.

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I think promises, especially the ones that cone with the word “forever” are a burden, that you willingly or by simple ignorance put upon yourself. Put too many of them and you will drown. Therefore we should promise with moderation, to give more power and seriousness to our few promises, and still live a free life. That’s also why it is better to promise to try, rather than promise you will succeed.

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