Important reminder

#1

an important reminder

Don’t forget the importance of the question: What is my problem?

Sure, you could say, I’m addicted because of dopamine and because I like watching P. But I don’t think that is the case. If the maximization of dopamine was the reason for our addiction, we would try to come as fast as possible, jump back into real life do something crazy there and go back to P. Over and over again. Instead, we are sitting in front of the desktop for hours, edging and even if it starts to hurt, we can’t stop.

Another thing, ever wondered, why our stories often are so similar? Many of us experienced some kind of mobbing or abuse in our childhood. I’ve seen few people here writing that they were the alpha at their school and that everyone liked them. Many play computer games or browse the internet for hours each day (more than the average people.
It can’t be just the need for dopamine. Otherwise, this community would be a lot more heterogeneous.

As long as you don’t know your underlying problem, you will never ever have a chance to get rid of the addiction. There are so many people here which tried it for years, but it never worked. The search for the real reason is difficult. It takes a lot of time and effort. But it is the only way to get free forever. (keep in mind, that I’m still struggling like everyone else but I feel like I tried long enough to realize, that porn is not our main problem)

Just as example:
I currently feel like I found my reason. (I had that feeling way too many times before. But this time I’m pretty sure. I’ve said that many times before ….)
But I feel like my problem is the handling of free time. Either I have a fear of something or I simply forgot how to organize my free time without using my computer. So, my problem is not really porn. It is fleeing from having free time by spending it online.

I see it so often. The advice: Keep yourself occupied. Don’t allow yourself unplanned, unfilled time. That would definitely work for me to get a long streak. I never relapse on stressful days. But that again is just a fleeing from the problem! I have to learn to handle free time. And I can’t do that by keeping myself busy.

Okay, that post got longer than I wanted to have it. But keep in your mind. Porn is not the root of our problem. There is something, a fear, an uncomfortable feeling or something else that keeps us away from real life and lets us flee to youtube, games and porn.

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#2

Very well said. I was literally just in the grocery store and i got hit twice. One decent looking woman just stared me down and then as i turned the corner i saw a gorgeous woman. My head was spinning. I always remember that its ok to feel but not ok to lust. If im going to take action the action will be to speak with the woman. If not there is no other action. Done…All the years of something like this and then beating off to my imagination is so silly as i think about it now. Little immature boys do that shit. Its not always easy but its worth it. Building you up as a man. Not a boy.

Long winded way of saying good post.

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