Neji you donât need to talk about it cause you have byakugan you have a ability that every girl fear 
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I am not jiraiya.
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Date- 20/5/2024 Monday
⢠Today I wake up at around 5:30am .
Tomorrow on 19 May when I goes out after 2 hours of eating meal for a walk at 5:00pm and returned to home at 7:00pm got Sick started to do vomiting the temperature outside and dehydration caused me nuesea havenât eated anything till now just drinking water now I am feeling fine next time I will eat 3 hours before going outside . Although I want to start running but in park there are alot of people because of shyness I canât run thatâs why to push my limits I am taking a walk daily for 2 hours 5:00pm to 7:00pm but I think I should do this kind of stuffs in morning to not to get sick . I think before anything I should work on my Arms and chest cause because of them I look skinny although my weight is around 50-55 kg 
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20 may 2024
After seeing my own result I made my mind to choose commerce but my dad called his friend who was a retired IAS officer and said ask him how become a engineer he asked me my percentage I told him everything and he said your Mark is not enough to choose science my father got disappointed after seeing my fatherâs face I said I am going to give improvement exam and Said to that retired IAS that for now I will choose commerce but after the results of improvement exam I will change my stream to science then he said to my father that he will come when we go to submit improvement exam form and he will help me to change stream although even without improvement exam I can get science through MLA letter and the request of retired IAS but I donât want to go at that way cause itâs not sure that it will work or not also it would become a lifetime shame for me . thatâs why before my father think about this ways I said to give improvement exam itâs my last resort canât do anything infront of my fatherâs expectations.
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I am 100% sure of it If I choosed humanities then I Will become a Topper can make a name in world but the things is subjects of humanities is seen by the society like trash thatâs why for my dignity that doesnât exist I wonât choose it although I want to choose commerce cause my marks allow me to select between commerce or Arts thatâs why I am going to choose it but now my fatherâs dream intercepted me I really donât want to give improvement exam Because I need to carry two marksheets in the future also have a fear of scoring low marks there as well cause itâs my first failure in academics but for my Dadâs dream I will definitely do it with my whole heart I will also update here my result after improvement exam till then I should focus on my studies also I am going to give exam for two subjects Science and commerce 
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Calm down brother 
I respect your enthusiasm but being a topper doesnât get you a name in the world, itâs what you do after being a genius (in any field, war, hate-crimes, life-sciences, etc)
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Bro I gave it to improve 12th percentage. And one thing I want to tell you is that itâs level is above that of normal board exams so try to gather previous year improvement exam papers and solve as much questions you can.
Join some good telegram group for content.
So all the best, be aware of the level of questions that you gonna encounter in improvement exams.
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Bhai although i am nobody to interfere in your personal life, but think about it. Itâs your life at the end you will have to live it, why are you saying you are going to do something just because your father expect you to do so, do you have no idea or interest as in what you want to do in future. I mean do you not see yourself as becoming something and that could be anything. Being a topper has its own perks but being a topper in a field where you do not even want to be is just foolishness. I am not saying choose a job, i am just saying choose a field or atleast see a lifestyle that u want. Elements likeâŚhow much you are exercising and in what form (eg gym, hatha yoga, calisthenics etc), what kind of a job you are doing (a desk job where you are developing something online, or a job where u r meeting people to solve their problems, a job where u r meeting clients and really enjoying selling something to a point where start your own company), what sort of hobbies you are pursuing and how often (eg dancing or playing an instrument or maybe travelling or having a library of books that u have already devoured) and do you want a family life or life of a loner or life of a maybe traveller, a life inside your town, away from home or near the home but not in home etcâŚbut also see all these things should not come from watching someone else enjoying some sort of vanity at an unreasonable age with an almost fishy amount of money for eg those influencers on youtube sometimes are fake and gives you fake and unrealistic aspirations about your life, then choose the stream and work towards making the lifestyly that you imagined as close as possible to reality. If you have no interests of your own or you have not decided as in what you would want to do in your life that is another matter.
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I really donât have any passion I am a aimless person I just want to earn cause itâs a need you can think me as a waste who donât want to work but he will do for money.
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If I am 100% sure then itâs really is 100% although I am not taking Humanities thatâs why I am giving a reason because I canât clear UPSC by taking science but I can will prove you that I am really is a self proclaimed genius thatâs why despite taking science I will show you a certificate or something of humanities that I can get just by passing the competitive exam to show I am really is worthy of saying myself a genius of humanities but donât want to take it cause itâs too easy and boring and I donât even Need to state how society will think about me . Ignorant laughter hehe
Right now I already made my mind to give this exam I am not going to back down now I will face it no matter the consequences I know in all the post that I made till now stream topic sounds too stupid I also donât liked that what I am typing But this time In my mind I am dealing with my own questions if I was not that much of a ignorant person I wonât end up like a idiot 
whose praising himself without any achievement just on the sole basis of that if he did it I donât know But only my future know about it that I am am going on a right direction or on a wrong one in the end the future depends on myself a ignorant idiot who donât know about the world praising himself for doing nothing.
Now I will read it again all the shit that I wrote in the future literally canât decide anything whenever I listen people haves goals passion in their life I think what I am missing really guys if you have any passion then follow it donât be a piece of shit Like me Till now I a giving reasons and trying to run away from the life but canât do it anymore itâs really is a first time For me when I am feeling bad and facing a backlash due to mere grades but I swear I am not going to regret again because of it I will do everything to become successful itâs my life I swear next time when I talk about my grades I wonât be a failure .
Serious reply: for your own benefit
Are you seriously living under a rock. If this is your mentality people will throw you under your rock again. Ainât no way someone like you said you can clear UPSC. I had humanities and I tell you itâs not a Lil piece of cake. You gonna waste a year practicing for Prelims, and who knows if you will ever clear Mains, let alone Interviews.
Even if you take science this type of mentality is gonna ruin you. I have seen people 100x smarter than you, those people are ruthlessly emotionless. Wonât even care if you fail in front of them and just laugh and forget about you.
You might end up getting a job but donât think you are some kind of genius for now. Warren Buffett, Sam Altman, Devianâs CEO, see them how they used to work. They become what they are after years of hardwork.
Unserious Reply:
Hehe, fine. Although I donât believe in your Delulu. All the best.
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Yeah I am talking shit all the time to make myself feel good I am really is a fool a mere talking canât prove my worthyness without any achievement I am a worthless piece of hollow rock thank for the serious reply I will do what I can only achievement can show oneâs capabilities 
until I get any achievement I donât even have rights to talk about capabilities
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Itâs fine. Just share your study logs and routine here. You canât just send a big achievement suddenly in a month or two. Compounding of yours efforts should be there to prove it all. It will help you.
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Yeah this is first time I feeling kinda excited to make my future good and to start studying thanks for that reply hope in future you will also give replies in serious mode literally whenever someone take me seriously itâs become a fun for me to achieve my goals also never got unserious here reply me with what you really think it will help me to know my weakness my worthless ego .
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I will never think you as a waste. If u want to do something for money, so be itâŚinfact its actually a blessing of sort because probably u will just do the work without thinking about the likes and dislikes of it.
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Nah I want a work where I can earn without any pressure can do everything by my way
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All the best for ur future endeavoursđŤ
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