I'm back and there is stuff I wanna say

Hey everyone hope it is going well with everyone. Congratulations on the milestones I have missed and well done keep it going!

After some trouble with internet and my phobe constantly crashing I was unable to be on the Forum. I apologise for it luckly things are coming right.

Well I was also stuck for a bit and also had sufferd a few blows were I sank to the bottom and yeah I was in a hole and didn’t ever think I’ll get out.

But I am just tired of feeling sorry and negative about myself so I am going to try my very best to avoid negative comments and moaning and being indecisive.

So, yeah now to the serious part of what I am thinking.

Nofap, I like it and hate it at the same time as it is a hard thing to do.

So why do I do it, well good question I feel like doing nofap gives a goal to fight towards… (Hehe no pressure), but it ain’t hard as well.

Dang a load of circles there… It is kinda a thing that will constantly be there like should I or shouldn’t I, that’s what I ment and for a lot of people and popular belief ia that if I hit day 90 I’ll be set for life and bam I am done with it.

Well it is very hard to admit it ain’t the case, because you know being on nofap is sometimes a boring thing and has a harsh view on yourself.

See I know going through a lot of types of porn it is frustating if someone comes and say:

*Delete any social media apps you have and it could also include apps like showmax or netflex since there are erotic series or movies there and also the biggest thing Youtube aswell.

*The second thing and I have mentioned this before is people even me at a time considered in doing a lot of other stuff to aviod going to p#&: or fapping.

  • The third is there is a lot of pressure on being productive.

See it is all good but kinda in a way harsh a say a guy perfoms a lot of stuff and anyone else is like I also wanna do that or I have to set my life straight which is a good thing, but it also falls on a day which to do it, but that day never comes( I know I sound harsh, desperate or judgemental), but I have been there and I’m still there. Loads of other factors also influence us

*Seeing buff guys and like I wanna look like that guy. Or do what that guy did on Instagram or whatever media you have and yeah sometimes it gives you that urge to do something, but it becomes a ‘normal’ thing to see a buff guy and then your motivation is gone and then you are lining yourself up to say why do I do it…

  • Second we get BORED or TIRED or just don’t wanna do it anymore as it feels like everyone on a forum or app who follows you to stay on track with what you do and you slip at some of the stuff and get samefull of what has happend and don’t wanna keep it up, by doing it constantly.

Well, with this time away, I came to realise a lot about myself. I ain’t a expert in any field, but given thoughts about a lot of things which I will metion in another post since this one is so long and I don’t wanna slay you with facts and thoughts which I would like to discuss.

For now I just wanna wish you guys good luck stay strong and keep it going!

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Hey guys here is the follow up I promised

So to kick it off yesterday I said quite a lot of hot and cold stuff it seemed I didn’t know what to say or actually what the point in it all is so here we go…

First one Nofap is hard and easy to do.

  • Why it is hard is because of one factor that is your thoughts.

Firstly like I said you deside on a day not really specific on which day you are gonna stop.

Sentences like these are commonly used:

-I will quit tomorrow

-Just one last time

-Just once a week is fine ( actually a neutral thought )

But just once a week is also a bad factor if you realapse to p!&$ and then it keeps you hooked and the binged relapses occur.

  • Day 1 again ach :nauseated_face:

There is a lot of negativity going on when you make a 89 day streak or very long streak as if you hate yourself for failing

Failing is good, through this you have to try and maintain your focus not switch into ahh this is so (f*#@ up now I am a loser I can’t do anything. ) this part in the brackets is what makes it hard to move on.

  • No social media and no real internet access

This I think I would like to discuss more as I think this is a taboo for everyone and everyone is on this the moment jumping on porn blockers and deleting everything. I know, I know cut out all the triggers and rather be safe than sorry, but I have heard a lot of guys having all this and then delete a porn blocker by the end of the week or find a way to have a porn blocker but bypassing it somehow.

-Rough scedules, 100 of tasks and unprodictable days

With each day we experience a number of this( obviously) a lot to do, say, think about and planning stuff.

Well not every day is the same eventhough it might seem so

For example:

Wake up->gym->work->diner->shower->sleep->repeat

No unforseen stuff can happen inbetween like a car accident, you can get fired, you might have to skip the gym for an other emergency or that you ran late in the morning or just didn’t feel like it etc.

With everything there is probably a lot of different outcomes, thoughts or ideas and obviously our emotions are also involved and it in turn determines how willing we are to do stuff…

  • Quitting porn

Quiting it is a very hard thing to do. Like I said we install porn blockers and delete social media etc. To avoid triggers and watching it , but this is very irretating thing to have and to do. Like I said we wanna bypass it and be like a normal guy who can browse instagram etc. To keep up with what is happening out there.

I will discuss this point more and hope to see your opinions about it. As this is long topic to discuss

  • Focus on yourself.

You should know yourself mostly what you like what you dislike etc. It changes to but we all have a moral compass and a few basics we stick to so from that you can plan and implement your nofap journey.

To be honest with yourself and to really focus on what you want is also a topic you must visit before you go on with a plan.

  • Yeah I know I said you’ve got to plan it, but implement and practice it and change it…

I said it is easy and all this seem hard, but it ain’t as the hard thing of it is your thoughts. If you shift you thoughts and make them malleable it can generate better results, but don’t just plan and say okay I’ll go 90 days starting tomorrow.

Start it today at least push it for a week, look out for how your body react, notice the changes and obviously keep the good stuff and try to make it your lifstyle and not just a plan. The easier and the more fun it is the easier it is to follow and be a good habit.

Failures are going to happen as you might not make it for a week, but that’s fine just tweak your plan a bit and commit to it.

The easy part is small, but it is a big thing to keep it going , that is to celebrate your victories no matter how small they are. Even if you plan is to go only a day without fapping it is a day you have won and even if it is only an urge you have beaten or a trigger then you have to celebrate it to full extend.

The other easy part of it is that once you are comfortable and have a good plan that is easy to follow for yourself and you stick with it, it will become a habit= then a lifestyle. If you get beat on say day 80 and you feel unfazed by it is because you have the confidence in your plan and you then know what to look out for.

Thanks for the read and support and yeah I know it ain’t complete, but I don’t wanna make it too long so please let’s talk about it and we will expand on more topics

Good luck and stay strong and awesome!

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Hey there !

Well today I know it is kinda weird, but yeah I wanna try talking about quitting porn.

Well many have tried and failed me included and also like I mention people jump right onto porn blocking apps.

Well, lemme say it has been a few touch and goes these past 200 and odd days on nofap. Yeah know my counter say like I am on day 130 or somewhere around there, but the main consecpt I wanna get to is there is days where I still feel like watching porn and for a long period I just feel cut off from that feeling. Like I ain’t interested at it at all.

There is one time I received an inappropriate instagram dm (:scream: I still have instagram yes shocking) but I wasn’t interested into fapping to this girl who sold her body for free to me. ( Wow must be gay then​:thinking:)

Well no I ain’t gay and belive me or not I have no porn blocker on my phone and also hold on to your hat as I access google daily, I YouTube daily and wait there is more I don’t have any adult or parent lock on my phone on any applications where explicit content could be on. :scream: major respice for disaster right. Well yeah I totally agree. And this seem impossible and must be fake.

Nope, and I don’t wanna brag about it either and as I am at a lot of risk of relapsing one word and porn has won. There is a very fine line and I know it and the risk are there also a wrong invite to someone can push me over the edge. That I know as I mentioned the dirty dm.

But it bothered me alot as the girl was legit and later so dirty in the texts. So I made a plan and immediately removed her.

Why do I even have instagram?

I am a fan of European football and receive my updates on scores games etc. Also I follow a lot of athletic guys I have seen on Youtube as they give good exercise advice and bonus tips on Instagram than on Youtube and also I sometimes chat to my friends there as well especially the ones I lost their number of due to the fact that lost my phone last year.

Why do I YouTube?

Well is it worth mention sometimes it is better to YouTube stuff that to google it as you get better and practical explanations. And awesome tutorials on food, games and as I mentioned workouts.

So how do I manage this?

Well, it is in general is tough at the beginning especially if you are day one of the journey. So does this mean lock your phone away aswell for a week or so?

Well for me nope, but the method I apply to this is rather than spending time scrolling through endless nude pics and porn on Insta or where ever I use my phone for the specific task I need it to do. Play games even if I am bored( super kid like) obviously offline games as it kills the temptation.

I play a variety of games, but I am kinda stuck at Sudoku and crosswords at the moment as it pulls all my focus towards thinking about the task at hand. But I don’t really need to go on sudoku or it when I am bored as I do play games on the ps3 and also read or study languages.

Sure I sound very pro-active and an overachiever on this type of field, but like I want to say is I have conditioned myself towards my app usage and also have shifted my focus on specific needs within the apps.

Do I believe in porn blockers?

Well, no I don’t as you probably seen in my previous post I said we bypass them alot or delete and reinstall them later and I think of it as it is like a parent telling don’t do it and your are the kid but you rather ignore the parent and do it anyways. So why does it help me if it leads me more into temptation? It is like giving a drunk keys to the bottles store sure the is an obstacle, but if you want something ypu can overcome any obsticals trust me.

I also laughed so hard when I watched based Zeuses video on nofap. He was like roughly and some in my own words " fap in your nofap journet don’t stop yourself from fapping if you cut it of completely you’ll do it eventually. The only trick to it is set a time to fap for yourself like at midnight and don’t shift it if you can stay up till then to fap you won’t feel like doing it anymore either to tired to do it or you fell asleep. "

So basically I am following that same aproach so if a see a girl on Insta it is okay for me she is a trigger, but my ideas have evolved so far to not act apon it in a fap way but rather I hide or unfollow the post. So yeah haven’t set a specific time to watch porn, but rather changed my ways in using my apps. So yeah the risk to be exposed is very high like I said the urge is there to watch it from time to time and here is what I think I wanna point out the Idea of being your own porn blocker really pays out.

What me as my porn blocker?

Well, exactly like that and it is cheap and painless not entirely effortless, but super effective.

The thing is obviously you decide the use of your phone and you know what triggers you and also where you are triggered as well as like me receive an unexpected trigger.

So will this work immediately like a porn blocker, well no sadly this is a bit of hard work as you need to decide which apps you are going to use and what to use it for and also how to limit the use thereof.

Secondly some basic rules to nofap apply here aswell like no phone usage in bed (later it is leaveable, but at first totally applicable for atleast a month or so) no phones in the bathroom ( also atleast for a week or so even music apps are disallowed here) avoid using your phone in a trigger area maybe at your gf house( sounds dumb but urges run high there) or any place you regularly go to watch porn.

Lastly don’t poke the bear by joke tiping in porn or any concept thereof. You’ll only screw yourself over this one trust me I did this in the past and even watched small videos and said it didn’t bother me, but it is not the point. The thing is you’ll get hooked on it again and have to reassess and begin your whole ideals and apply strict rules again in order to feel comfortable to use your phone.

Be comfortable in using your phone or device also makes you feel more confident into avoiding using it for porn. Should a random or sudden trigger come through a dm or so focus on deleting and unfollow it immediately! Just stay calm and don’t act upon the urge rather learn to handle these small triggers in a calm and natural way as possible!

Let’s chat about it I would like your views and comments on it!

Thanks for the read and support and good luck stay strong and awesome!

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